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God and Parenting

For most kids, their parents are like Gods. I know I believed my parents were almighty and strong. The strength of this belief is similar to the strength of the belief in God’s existence. A belief is a thought, opinion or conviction about something, for which a person has confidence in the truth of its existence. Whether you believe in something or not has to do with how confident you are in the truth of it. It is the same for kids and their beliefs about parents. For example, whether a child believes in their parents’ love or not has to do with how confident there are in the truth of this love.

The hardest part for kids is that they are dependent on their parents to plant these beliefs in their minds. They will believe they are amazing only after their parents repeatedly tell them it is so.

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Teaching & Education Beliefs: I Am an Educator

In today’s part of Teaching & Education Beliefs, I want to share with you the first 20 of the top 100 beliefs I have about teaching and education.

Last week we discussed where beliefs about teaching come from: from our parents and our own teachers. In this post, I want to share some helpful tips that I found useful through my career.

1. I am an educator. I teach, I coach, I present, I motivate, I do public speaking, I write, I do my community work. In all those roles, I educate kids and grownups on how to find the gifts they have inside and let themselves shine.

2. School is not a place where kids come to gain knowledge; it is a small version of real life. Children have opportunities to use trial and error without detrimental consequences. Kids come to school to learn about themselves, grow and evolve.

This post is part 2 of 6 in the series Teaching & Education Beliefs

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Know Your Partner: Education, Leisure, Holidays and Birthdays

This part of “Know Your Partner” shares more important questions for your relationship – on education, leisure, travel and vacations, holidays and birthdays. In the last few parts of this series I explained the importance of getting to know your partner before deciding to move in together, get married or have kids. I shared questions about relationships, every day life, family background, friends, appearance, work, money and health.

Remember not to judge your partner’s answers. Use this exercise to examine your own judgment and maybe change it if it is not working for you. The point is not to find every tiny thing that does not fit perfectly into your plan for the future. This exercise is only meant to help you learn about yourself and your partner, and find out the most important things that you and/or your partner do not think you can compromise on.

This post is part 4 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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Know Your Partner: Appearance, Work, Money and Health

Welcome to the third installment of “Know Your Partner”. In this series war are talking about questions you and your partner should discuss before you move in together, get married or have kids. These questions will help you find your partner’s “musts”. To read more about “musts”, check out Know Your Partner: Musts. In the last post in the series, we listed questions about relationships, every day life, family background and friends. This post covers questions about appearance, work, money and health.

This post is part 3 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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Know Your Partner: Questions to Ask

Last week, we talked about how every person has “musts”, things they absolutely cannot live without. It is important for each person in a couple to know their partner’s “musts” before they decide to move in together, to get married or to have kids. This week, I thought I would give you a list of questions to help you along your journey. This list includes questions about relationships, everyday life, family background and friends.

This list is very important to use in different relationship situations:

Before moving in with someone.
Before marriage.
Before deciding to have kids.
On anniversaries – in order to update each other about the ways we have changed.
When experiencing relationship conflict.
Before making the decision to break up a partnership.
There are a few rules to remember when asking these questions. This will make the question and answer process more effective and successful:

This post is part 2 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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Know Your Partner: Musts

Any relationship is a form of agreement between two or more people. The deeper the relationship, the more things you will need to agree on for your relationship to stay positive. Some relationships, like marriage and having children together, are more important than others. They have a huge impact on our lives and our futures. I call them love agreements.

Love agreements will change over time. Just how they change will depend on the circumstances. Each person changes within themselves and their agreements with each other change accordingly. For couples, it is very important for each side to make sure they are “sailing in the same direction”. While each of them may change in different ways, together, they want to be going the same way. If one wants to sail north and the other’s greatest desire is to sail south, then their relationship will suffer. One or both of them will have to compromise.

When we talk about relationships, the word compromise pops up as a desired outcome. I think compromise is important, but I also believe that some compromises cannot last for very long. They are often the source of conflict and can cause much heartache.

This post is part 1 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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Facebook: The Parenting Enemy

This week, in my art class, we talked about Facebook. I have to say I am a bit nervous when we talk about Facebook. Some clients of mine experienced a big trauma when a member of their family posted something on Facebook. The post was the sort of thing that was so terrible, each and every one of them wanted the earth to open up and swallow them. They are still sorting out the issues and nothing they do will be able to remove the post.

Another couple I coached separated because of Facebook. There was nothing they could do to forgive each other for writing those things. You see, when someone says something nasty, it is painful, for sure. But when it is written online and the whole world can see it, the pain aches for a long time afterwards. In both of these cases, we are talking about grownups.

Can you imagine what happens if kids do it?

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Make a list: Inspiring Movies

I really love movies. I remember the first movie I ever watched on the big screen at the age of 11. My dad used to have a second job selling movie tickets in the small town we lived in. He could never let us in for free but he would make cones out of newspaper and give us free popcorn.

Movies have always been a source of inspiration for me. As an author, I see the stories I write unfold like movies in my head. I think an author is kind of like a director, only an author has to do all the aspects of production in their head.

I get a lot of inspiration for my writing from the people in my life. Lucky for me, my profession allows me to meet lots of them, which means I can mix and shuffle their stories to create new situations, scenarios, and outcome for my books. This is something I can do entirely in my head, and when everything is arranged just right, I write down on paper the story I saw in my mind.

People are also a great inspiration to me for how I want to live my life. I have made a point to learn something by observing the lives of the people around me. Each of them has something to share.

This post is part 36 of 44 in the series Make a List

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200 Fun Things To Do With Your Kids

Up to 6 years ago, Gal was the person who worked outside of home while I stayed home with the kids. Being around kids has been a great joy for me. I think it allowed me to borrow some strength from my work and use it at home and vice versa. When I need an idea of what to do with the kids, I only need a couple of seconds and I can come up with heaps of ideas. Usually, the parent who stays at home with the kids is the one with most of the ideas. They have the task of spending time with the kids, taking care of them. It makes them very creative, flexible and preferably efficient.

One of my clients complained that her husband had to spend one evening with the kids, while she had to go studying, and that she was very stressed about it. Her husband said he had no idea what to do with them. When she gave him some entertainment suggestions he said, “No, I want to do something with them that will be meaningful”. This made me think that some parents do not understand that for kids, everything can be meaningful if it is in the form of play.

I hope this post will be great help for parents who are sometimes stuck for ideas.

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Poor Busy Kids

This morning, as I was taking my 8-year-old daughter Noff to school, I told her, “Today is a very short day. I will pick you up at 3”. As I said that, I realized it was funny how leaving home at 8:15am and being picked up at 3pm qualifies as a short day.

You see, in Australia, “normal” kids study 5 days a week from 9am to 3pm, but for our family, this is a very short (and rare) day. Our kids are very busy. They have so many extra-curricular activities they hardly ever have a regular day like everyone else. Even between 9am and 3pm, while they are at school, their days are full of things most kids do not do.

Our 14-year-old son Tsoof starts 3 days a week somewhere around 7:15am. 4 times a week, he finishes around 4:45pm and twice a week, his lunch breaks is taken over by guitar lessons and rehearsals for Choir or Brass Ensemble.

Our 8-year-old daughter Noff starts at 9am nearly every day, but 3 times a week, she finishes between 4pm and 5pm. One day a week, she also sings in a choir in the afternoon and gets back home at 6:45pm. Twice a week, her lunch break is taken over by Dance and Choir rehearsals.

Today, however, all of my kids’ afternoon activities were canceled.

You are probably saying to yourself, “Poor busy kids”, right!?

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