emotional intelligence Tag

Posts tagged 'emotional intelligence'

Manipulating Your Kids Will Make You a Good Parent

Many parents feel uncomfortable about the idea of manipulation. They get upset when their children manipulate them, and feel uncomfortable about manipulating them in return. But I think it’s a valuable parenting tool.

The word “manipulation” has negative connotations and implies bad intentions. But in most cases, we don’t manipulate others to harm them. Quite the opposite.

In my parenting programs, I’m amazed by how many parents don’t think they have the right to make their children think or do some things. These parents don’t seem to understand their role.

What?!

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How to Be a Winner in Life

Most people these days rush around, trying to get somewhere. They see life as a competition or a game they need to win. They keep wondering how to be a winner in life.

As we evolve and can rise above the survival mode in our life, we all ask the big question “What are we here for?” Looking for reasons for our existence is probably a good sign. Some call it an identity crisis.

I call it an awakening. It’s a point in time when we realize life is a game we play, and we suddenly want to understand it.

Much like any game, we play to win. Losing is no fun and we try to avoid it like the plague. When we’re happy, it feels like we’re winning, and when we’re unhappy, we feel like we’re losing.

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How to Overcome Fight, Flight & Freeze in Relationships

There’s some amount of stress in every relationship, and we respond to it through Fight, Flight or Freeze. So how can we overcome these responses, relax and stay together?

Watching babies and toddlers playing “hide and seek” can teach us a lot about the human mind and how we can improve the relationship game.

Our granddaughter is 3 years old, and we look after her once or twice a week (lucky us). She loves to play “hide and seek”, and we all love to watch her having fun.

For a long time, we had to nominate a person to hide with her, so she would get the hang of it. Because whenever we asked, “Where is Ayla?” she would answer from her hiding place…

Hilarious, right?!

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Formal vs. Informal Learning: Which is The Best During COVID-19?

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many parents ask themselves if formal education is enough to give their kids what they need. What was normal before COVID-19 is not the same now. I suggest informal learning instead.

I believe many good things came out of COVID-19. For example, some of my nephews blossomed with remote learning. Unfortunately, some of them, who had been brilliant students before, just collapsed.

Lately, the parents of many of the children I coach told me of real challenges at home. I believe this difficult period highlights challenges each family already had before. The uncertainty, the restrictions, the financial burden, and the isolation just added more pressure into the system and the system no longer copes.

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How to Inspire Your Kids’ Natural Kindness

Humans are kind in nature. Just watch young children. They are born with natural kindness. This is the main reason it’s so wonderful to be around children. They constantly give and engage in a way that makes you want to give in return.

Research has found that kindness is contagious. If you want to see it in action, try smiling at people as you pass them on the street. Smiling is an act of kindness! And when you smile, people smile back.

When babies see a puppet show with kind and affectionate characters, followed by rude and mean ones, they prefer the kind puppets. Yes, they were just babies. But they have an innate ability to mirror their surroundings. They can notice the tone of the voice and actions.

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Why You Need to Support Your Kids’ Career Choice

Many parents stress about what their children choose to study and/or their career. So much so, that they fail to support their children in making the right career choice.

I didn’t know this was such an issue until my friends heard that my daughter wanted to be an actor. Almost immediately, everyone told me I should talk her out of it. I then realized that what children chose to study was an issue for many parents.

I guess I was lucky. I chose to study something my parents approved of, so no one ever said anything about it. Neither one of my parents had gone to higher education, so I was the first one to study. Everyone was just thrilled about it.

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Powerful Benefits of Teaching Your Kids to Help the World

We should all teach our children how to help the world, because they will grow up in it and it needs to sustain them and their children. The good news is that if they start caring for their world at a young age, their emotional health and wellbeing will benefit too.

Children are born in a world where things are done to them and for them. Babies are born helpless, and since they can’t take care of themselves, they grow up thinking that the world revolves around them. Realizing that it doesn’t brings a lot of tears and tantrums, as you might expect.

Most kids gradually learn to live with not getting everything they want. But they don’t completely grow out of the tantrums.

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We Are What We Think: My Rice Experiment

33 years ago, when I studied special education, I learned that our thoughts manifest themselves into our life. I had amazing teachers and mentors. One of them, who was a psychologist, taught me the importance of our emotional hygiene as teachers. He said that what we think of ourselves reflects on the children and the people that work with us.

Scientists have examined the power of what we think for years. Many philosophers and spiritual leaders have covered it extensively. Our life is a reflection of what we think. In most spiritual beliefs, there is much focus on thoughts and intention. As a life coach, I work with my clients on the power of thought and I share with them how powerful thoughts are.

About 20 years ago, Gal and I traveled with the kids to France and went to a train station. On the walls was an exhibition of Dr Masaru Emoto’s water experiments. Emoto exposed water to music, spoken words, written words, videos and pictures. He then froze the water until it crystalized, sliced it and took photos of the ice. What he found was amazing!

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Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship

I’ve been in a relationship for 38 years, and I know it’s not always easy to speak your truth. When you bring two people together, they both need to compromise a lot and can’t easily balance the ratio between “give” and “take”.

Just recently, I had the chance to be on my own for 6 weeks when my husband went to drum in Africa. I realized that as partners and parents, we compromise many times, to the point where we might forget who we truly are.

When I say “compromise”, I don’t mean that anyone has any bad intentions. It happens naturally. When you live with other people, you can’t just do what you feel like doing. My son was also in Africa and my youngest daughter, who is 17, spent her time studying and having get-togethers with her friends, so she was not home either most of the time.

During those weeks, I examined 3 of my habits: sleep, eating and fun time. I realized I didn’t follow my natural cycles of sleeping, eating or doing fun things when my family members were around, because, first and foremost, I think of their timetable and their needs, and I juggle everyone else into a plan that would work. Me and my cycles are normally not part of the picture.

Don’t get me wrong. It was my choice. I just realized I had neglected part of myself.

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Success vs. Talent: How I almost made the Olympic team

Some people think that talent is the only thing we need to succeed in life. I thought so too when I was young. I was very talented in gymnastics and I thought that talent was the only thing I needed. It was very hard for me to realize that talent was just a baseline and guaranteed nothing.

I’m all for helping our children find their talent, but finding it, and even pursuing it, is not enough for success. They need something more.

Not long ago, I had the honor of working with two amazing young athletes on the Australian Olympic team. They were both equally talented and had all the physical skills, but one of them had what it takes to succeed, and the other didn’t.

Working with them reminded me of my Olympic team adventure as a child and why talent is not enough for success.

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