
When we talk about relationships, we immediately imagine a cuddling couple full of love. When we think relationship breakup, we think there is a communication breakup. There is some truth in it, but communication is not always what is said but also what is transferred in silence.
In a world where everyone seems to be in a hurry to speak, explain, defend, or correct, silence in relationships can feel unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable. But silence is not the absence of communication; it is a form of communication. And in relationships, especially long-term ones, the moments between the words often matter more than the words themselves.
I like to think of conversations as dance. When both people move in rhythm, it feels effortless. But when both pull in different directions, someone gets stepped on. Silence is the moment where both partners pause long enough to feel each other, to sense the rhythm and feel the music again.
In my relationship coaching program, I get many couples coming “minutes” before they divorce claiming they “don’t communicate well” and I am there to tell them it has nothing to do with communication but everything to do with safety.
In 2013, psychologist Dr. Paul Watzlawick’s work on communication resurfaced in modern relationship studies, emphasizing that we cannot not communicate. Even silence sends a message. But the message is not always negative. In fact, the right kind of silence creates space for empathy, understanding, and emotional clarity. We constantly communicate in a verbal and nonverbal way. Conversations simply need space. Silence can give us that thing we need to feel… safe in the relationship.
In other words: Silence in relationships can improve relationships. When couples learn to create intentional space in conversations, conflicts soften. Tension drops. The nervous system relaxes. And instead of reacting automatically, partners begin to respond thoughtfully and give each other the sense of safety they remember from the moments they have made the decision to be together.
Read Silence in Relationships: How Quiet Moments Create create connection »



















