Relationship Problems: Why You Shouldn’t Ask Why

Relationship problems are a natural part of life, and usually stems from either or both parties’ insecurity. Many people think that if they understand the source of a conflict, they will find a solution more easily. Sometimes, asking “Why?” helps, but often, it can cause more harm than good.

Why?

Because “Seek and you shall find”. When someone asks us a question, we activate a mechanism in the brain that searches for an answer. It will not rest until it finds one.

Questions are like playing “fetch” with a dog. Ask, and your mind’s “dog” will search for the “ball” (or “stick”).

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28 Easy Ways to Save Money When You Go Shopping

Shopping was a different experience in the past year. The changes the COVID-19 pandemic caused were good for some, because it was an opportunity to save money. But for others, it increased the shopping costs and left them spending more than ever before.

It’s important to understand that we shop to gain a feeling. Even when we buy food, we try to increase our feeling of variety. We could all survive perfectly well on potatoes or bread and butter all day, but that wouldn’t satisfy our need for variety.

I remember years ago I did juice cleanse, and the thing I missed the most was … chewing. I could get all the nutrients I needed from the juice, but it just didn’t give me the satisfaction of chewing.

Shopping for things we need is not the same as “going shopping”. The problem is that today, people are so stressed that even simple grocery shopping is no longer just buying what we need. Instead, it’s become stocking the cupboard with things we don’t need.

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Domestic Violence is Devastating. We Need to Stop It!

As we all know, the COVID-19 pandemic has affected almost every part of our daily life. Work, school and social engagements were adjusted to follow the restrictions. But the most troubling change is the huge increase in domestic violence all around the world.

Domestic violence has been damaging our society in more ways than COVID-19 ever will. But no one thinks we should shut down schools, states, airlines, restaurants, gyms or businesses until we eradicate it from our society. And we’re going to pay for this long after COVID-19 is gone.

Domestic violence is primarily directed at women and children. Why? Because they are more vulnerable.

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Negative Emotions: How to Really Help Your Kids Manage Them

As parents, it’s natural for us to want to keep our children from feeling what we perceive as negative emotions. We want to keep them from suffering. But as hard as it is to admit, by doing so, we often do more harm than good.

Most people grow up thinking that our purpose in life is to avoid suffering. But it isn’t!

We aren’t supposed to avoid suffering, we’re supposed to manage it. We should never fight it, or even try to control it. We must live with it and find ways to use it to our advantage.

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How to Make International Hugging Day Count with COVID-19

January 21 (great date: 21-Jan-21) is International Hugging Day. It also falls during Walk Your Dog Month, which makes it even greater. But this year, with COVID-19 still running wild, let’s make sure it’s a happy day!

Research has found hugging the most effective anti-depressant. Many experts have written about hugs and their ability to change our chemistry. Touch in general has very healing power.

This year, International Hugging Day will be a bit sad due to the COVID-19. I worry that the forced isolation will disconnect people and that many will forget the hard work of thousands of people around the world, like many free hug campaigns, to connect.

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How to See Your Kids Beyond the Behavior

As a parent, your kids’ behavior can sometimes drive you nuts. But looking at the behavior is misleading. You need to look beyond the behavior.

Most parents will tell you that parenting is one of the hardest “professions” in the world. Yet, we never got any training for it. In the past year, it’s been even harder. It’s been a difficult, overwhelming experience for parents and to their children too.

The best way to see how kids reacted to the challenge of COVID-19 restrictions and online learning, all you have to do is watch their behavior. When children feel overwhelmed, they immediately start to show dysfunctional behavior. Trust me, if they could, they would do things differently. Just as you would…

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Light up the Darkness this Year – Happy 2021

In 2020, I spoke a lot to my clients about pain, and our desire to get rid of it. We’re all afraid of pain, and sadly, the more afraid we are, the more pain we have. Pain is darkness, while joy is light.

It’s important to understand that pain is not the enemy. It’s only a messenger. And in 2021, I sincerely hope to see more joy.

I was 25 years old when I first encountered the concept of the body sending us messages. If you’re a spiritual person, you might think it’s God, or some other universal force. But no matter what you believe, paying attention to these messages helps greatly in maintaining your health.

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Manipulating Your Kids Will Make You a Good Parent

Many parents feel uncomfortable about the idea of manipulation. They get upset when their children manipulate them, and feel uncomfortable about manipulating them in return. But I think it’s a valuable parenting tool.

The word “manipulation” has negative connotations and implies bad intentions. But in most cases, we don’t manipulate others to harm them. Quite the opposite.

In my parenting programs, I’m amazed by how many parents don’t think they have the right to make their children think or do some things. These parents don’t seem to understand their role.

What?!

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Helpful Staycation Ideas to Make Your COVID-19 Holidays Great

Staycation: suitcase with a laptop screen containing a home and a yard

The holidays are coming and this year, 2020, isn’t a normal year. We can’t go on vacation the way we did in previous years. So, what can we do? We can have a staycation. But first, we need some staycation ideas.

With COVID-19 looming, limited money, closed attractions, and restricted events and restaurants, a proper holiday seems difficult, even impossible. So, we either have a staycation or go nuts.

A staycation isn’t staying at home. It’s having a vacation, and enjoying our time, at home, or close to home. But how do we do it?

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How to Be a Winner in Life

Most people these days rush around, trying to get somewhere. They see life as a competition or a game they need to win. They keep wondering how to be a winner in life.

As we evolve and can rise above the survival mode in our life, we all ask the big question “What are we here for?” Looking for reasons for our existence is probably a good sign. Some call it an identity crisis.

I call it an awakening. It’s a point in time when we realize life is a game we play, and we suddenly want to understand it.

Much like any game, we play to win. Losing is no fun and we try to avoid it like the plague. When we’re happy, it feels like we’re winning, and when we’re unhappy, we feel like we’re losing.

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