self confidence / self esteem / self worth Tag

Posts tagged 'self confidence / self esteem / self worth'

Fear of Silence Psychology: Why Are Quiet Moments So Scary?

Fear of silence psychology: woman sitting in a quiet moment of reflection

Most people say they want peace. Most people say they want calm. But when real quiet finally arrives—when the TV is off, the phone is face-down, the house is still, the day slows—something strange happens.

Many of us don’t feel peaceful. We feel restless. Uneasy. Pulled to distract ourselves.

Suddenly, the silence that was supposed to comfort us… makes us uncomfortable.

This is where the fear of silence psychology begins. Silence becomes a mirror, and what we see in that mirror is not always easy.

In this second chapter of the Silence benefits for emotional wellbeing, we will explore why silence triggers discomfort, what happens in the brain during quiet moments, how early experiences shape our relationship with silence, and how we can begin to feel safe in the spaces between words.

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Teen Social Anxiety: True Story About Fear, Movement & One Brave Yes

Teen social anxiety - sad girl sitting by a window

I met Zara’s parents, Annie, and Dan, at a parenting workshop I ran in their remote hometown. Over 60 parents crowded into a small school hall, tired, worried, and hopeful. That night, I shared a true story about children’s dysfunctional ways of seeking love and attention—and about how parents struggle too. How we must take care of ourselves if we want to care for our children. There were lots of crying parents there.

That workshop ended after 9pm, but the conversations didn’t. Parents stayed, queued patiently, and waited to talk to me personally. Annie and Dan came to me after 11pm. Annie was teary and barely able to speak. Dan gently touched her arm, grounding her.

Their daughter, Zara, was 16. She hadn’t been to school for over a year. She didn’t leave the house. What they were facing had a name many parents know too well: teen social anxiety.

Read Teen Social Anxiety: True Story About Fear, Movement & One Brave Yes »

Mastering Self-Care: Your A-to-Z Guide

Self-care has a very simple definition. It is the things we do, or avoid doing, in order to look after ourselves, physically and/or mentally. If you have a car, you need to maintain smooth operation with regular servicing and gasoline/electricity. If you want to travel safely in this life, you also need to care for your mind and body.

Self-care maintains our health and wellbeing so we can function and enjoy our life.

Many people confuse self-care with selfishness and roget that we never say our car is selfish when it needs service. We accept it and are even willing to pay for it.

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Increase Your Confidence Through Kindness

Woman looking at clouds spelling Believe in Yourself

We all want to be confident and raise confident children. In my workshops, when I ask parents to grant their kids four wishes, confidence is high on their list. Confidence is the faith we have that things will happen in a certain way or that we’ll manage whatever happens. It is a sense of satisfaction or happiness about things that happened or about to happen.

Most parents are very surprised when I tell them that kindness is a fantastic way to boost our confidence, so, let me show you what the connection is.

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Domestic Violence is Devastating. We Need to Stop It!

As we all know, the COVID-19 pandemic has affected almost every part of our daily life. Work, school and social engagements were adjusted to follow the restrictions. But the most troubling change is the huge increase in domestic violence all around the world.

Domestic violence has been damaging our society in more ways than COVID-19 ever will. But no one thinks we should shut down schools, states, airlines, restaurants, gyms or businesses until we eradicate it from our society. And we’re going to pay for this long after COVID-19 is gone.

Domestic violence is primarily directed at women and children. Why? Because they are more vulnerable.

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Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship

I’ve been in a relationship for 38 years, and I know it’s not always easy to speak your truth. When you bring two people together, they both need to compromise a lot and can’t easily balance the ratio between “give” and “take”.

Just recently, I had the chance to be on my own for 6 weeks when my husband went to drum in Africa. I realized that as partners and parents, we compromise many times, to the point where we might forget who we truly are.

When I say “compromise”, I don’t mean that anyone has any bad intentions. It happens naturally. When you live with other people, you can’t just do what you feel like doing. My son was also in Africa and my youngest daughter, who is 17, spent her time studying and having get-togethers with her friends, so she was not home either most of the time.

During those weeks, I examined 3 of my habits: sleep, eating and fun time. I realized I didn’t follow my natural cycles of sleeping, eating or doing fun things when my family members were around, because, first and foremost, I think of their timetable and their needs, and I juggle everyone else into a plan that would work. Me and my cycles are normally not part of the picture.

Don’t get me wrong. It was my choice. I just realized I had neglected part of myself.

Read Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship »

Best Family Quotes by the Amazing Virginia Satir

The family quotes in this post were written by Virginia Satir, the mother of Family Therapy. I appreciate her and have learned a lot from her over the years, and some of her best quotes hang where I can read them again and again.

Virginia Satir’s quotes about family and her philosophy about family relationships have become a great compass for me. I would like to share them with you and inspire you to consider and adopt her ideas about family.

One of the reasons I enjoyed Virginia Satir’s work was that she started as an educator, and so did I. I have a soft spot for people who are educators as, because I think their spin on their work is different and more effective.

Read Best Family Quotes by the Amazing Virginia Satir »

I’m Disappointed in You!

Think of the last time anyone said to you, “I’m disappointed in you”. How did that make you feel?

Being disappointed is part of life. I guess it is one of the greatest challenges in life. Realizing that life is not happening the way you want and managing to push through despite it.

Although being disappointed is part of life, being disappointed in others should not be. When I work with my life coaching clients, we deal with a lot of disappointment. Sadly, what hurts them most is not self-disappointment – that things didn’t happen the way they “should have” – but being a disappointment to someone close.

When I think of all the times I have heard this, I can see two groups of people that express disappointment in my clients: teachers and parents, in this order. I dare say that they cause a lot of damage.

Disappointment is “sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations”. Therefore, saying to someone, “I’m disappointed in you”, is telling that person he or she is not fulfilling your hopes and expectations.

Who are you to cause someone a bad feeling for not fulfilling your expectations?

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100 Things I Want People to Think of Me

Generally, I think we need to live our life based on our own judgment by developing a sense of self that functions as a moral GPS (or compass), and not by other’s judgment or external rules and beliefs. In life coaching, the task of finding who we are relies on our ability to strip away other’s expectations and what they think of us. Instead, we learn to listen to our inner voice and “redesign” ourselves.

This process of redesigning who we are happens in the context of being part of a society, because connections and relationships form a huge part of our experience. When we “bare ourselves” and take off the “clothes” of what others think of us, the “shoes” of where they think we should go, the “coat” of others’ compliments or criticism, we need to put on new “clothes” that we love and feel comfortable with to warm us through life’s challenges.

Sometimes, looking at ourselves from the outside, can help us see things with fresh eyes.

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Who’s Afraid of Exams?

Many children hate exams. If you ask them what they hate more than homework, they will tell you it is exams. They hate them because it is natural to be anxious in a situation that puts our abilities to the test.

Someone is looking at what you do, checking what you do and then judges you for it. Children don’t like to be judged. Well, in fact, no one likes to be judged.

Many parents say to me, “This is life and kids need to learn to live with it!” and I wonder if this really must be part of life and whether we must live in such a judgmental environment. Maybe we can transfer the focus from what others think about us to self-awareness and what we think about ourselves.

Read Who’s Afraid of Exams? »

Fear of Silence Psychology: Why Are Quiet Moments So Scary?

Mastering Self-Care: Your A-to-Z Guide

Increase Your Confidence Through Kindness

Domestic Violence is Devastating. We Need to Stop It!

Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship

Best Family Quotes by the Amazing Virginia Satir

I’m Disappointed in You!

100 Things I Want People to Think of Me

Who’s Afraid of Exams?

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