I’ve been in a relationship for 38 years, and I know it’s not always easy to speak your truth. When you bring two people together, they both need to compromise a lot and can’t easily balance the ratio between “give” and “take”.
Just recently, I had the chance to be on my own for 6 weeks when my husband went to drum in Africa. I realized that as partners and parents, we compromise many times, to the point where we might forget who we truly are.
When I say “compromise”, I don’t mean that anyone has any bad intentions. It happens naturally. When you live with other people, you can’t just do what you feel like doing. My son was also in Africa and my youngest daughter, who is 17, spent her time studying and having get-togethers with her friends, so she was not home either most of the time.
During those weeks, I examined 3 of my habits: sleep, eating and fun time. I realized I didn’t follow my natural cycles of sleeping, eating or doing fun things when my family members were around, because, first and foremost, I think of their timetable and their needs, and I juggle everyone else into a plan that would work. Me and my cycles are normally not part of the picture.
Don’t get me wrong. It was my choice. I just realized I had neglected part of myself.
I believe that when you are in a relationship, especially a long one, a part of the true you is neglected or hidden. From working with many couples, I know that when the relationship is challenging and dysfunctional, the true you is pushed to the side. Sometimes, it’s pushed so hard that some of my clients don’t even know who they are.
This is very difficult, because we are taught to compromise, to avoid conflict and to keep the peace in the family “for the sake of the kids”. But when our spirit is crushed so much, we have no choice but to cut the ties, because with ourselves, we need to live a lot longer.
Because you’re worth it!
I have dedicated much of my writing and coaching to saving families from reaching this point. I believe relationships are worth the effort of saving, because each and every one of us is worth it!
To make a relationship last, we must stay true to who we are. We connected with our partners for who they are, not for who we would turn them into. So, when we are together, we need to let the essence of who we are, and they essence of who they are, shine through.
Speak Your Truth coming your way
Recently, I took part in a series of interviews with Karen Stevenson about how to have the courage to speak your truth and say how you really feel in the relationship in order to keep it alive.
You can listen to top relationship experts for a transformational 7-day tele-summit, called SPEAK YOUR TRUTH! Tell Him What You’re Really Feeling… Without causing Armageddon!
This interview series is completely FREE of charge. All those wonderful speakers have given their time for free, because they are passionate about the topic. They all believe strong relationships are important, so you will get all the talks for free once you register.
Here are the topics you will hear about:
- How to identify your truth and relay it without causing an argument
- How past trauma blocks your ability to communicate effectively
- Blueprints to healthier communication and relationship
- Understanding criticism, complaining and/or voicing your opinion
- Proven steps to initiate some ‘me’ time with self-care without feeling selfish
- How to prepare yourself in advance for speaking your truth
Again, these are all free for you and runs from March 11 to 17, so hurry up and register by clicking this link.
Whenever I go to seminar, I have a rule that if I take away 2-3 good messages, it was worth it for me. I know that in my talk alone, you will find many tips and strategies to manage your relationship.
What I also love about such series is that you can hear different perspectives and learn lots more. If your relationships are important to you and you value your own truth, I highly recommend registering.
Oh, I can’t say too much, but besides great interviews, there are other surprises…