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Home » partner

partner Tag

Posts tagged 'partner'

Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship

Weird Old Couple

I’ve been in a relationship for 38 years, and I know it’s not always easy to speak your truth. When you bring two people together, they both need to compromise a lot and can’t easily balance the ratio between “give” and “take”.

Just recently, I had the chance to be on my own for 6 weeks when my husband went to drum in Africa. I realized that as partners and parents, we compromise many times, to the point where we might forget who we truly are.

When I say “compromise”, I don’t mean that anyone has any bad intentions. It happens naturally. When you live with other people, you can’t just do what you feel like doing. My son was also in Africa and my youngest daughter, who is 17, spent her time studying and having get-togethers with her friends, so she was not home either most of the time.

During those weeks, I examined 3 of my habits: sleep, eating and fun time. I realized I didn’t follow my natural cycles of sleeping, eating or doing fun things when my family members were around, because, first and foremost, I think of their timetable and their needs, and I juggle everyone else into a plan that would work. Me and my cycles are normally not part of the picture.

Don’t get me wrong. It was my choice. I just realized I had neglected part of myself.

Read Speak Your Truth for a Strong Relationship »

Published: March 7, 2019 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: June 5, 2023In: Parenting, Relationships / Marriage Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, partner, communication, emotional intelligence, how to, choice, truth, relationships / marriage

Trust (or The Boy Who Cried Wolf)

Broken vase

Trust is a very important currency in marriage. It gives both partners a sense of certainty in the relationship, which helps it survive and remain strong. Certainty is a need we all have in life. Subconsciously, we would be willing to do a lot in order to have it met. When our sense of certainty is a bit shaky, we get anxious. This can be a killer in a relationship.

If you know the story of the boy who cried wolf, you understand why trust is so valuable. In the story, they boy would run to the village to beg the townspeople to help him. A wolf was chasing his sheep. The villagers rushed to help, only to discover that there was no wolf and the boy had lied. A week later, the boy did it again, and again, and again. The villagers came once, twice and even three time, and each time, there was no wolf. Until one day, the boy came running in a real panic, begging for help. A wolf was really chasing his sheep this time. But the villagers did not believe him. He had lied to them too many times. And the boy could only watch in horror as the wolf ate his sheep.

This post is part 29 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Trust (or The Boy Who Cried Wolf) »

Published: March 31, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 25, 2019In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, certainty, communication, partner, truth, trust, rules, relationships / marriage, story, decision making, tips

How to Handle Conflict Resolution in the Family

Big family photo

Every family has fights. Even in the most wonderful family, people fight sometimes. Fights can be between the parents, between parents and kid and between kids themselves. Fight create conflict and can damage the delicate fabric of relationships.

However, if you come out of the other side of the fight stronger, it can in fact strengthen the bond between family members. This is why conflict resolution in the family is so important.

If you are a parent and you have fights in your family, rest assures you are perfectly normal. The science of conflict resolution is easy to learn and master. Once you learn the tricks, life can be much easier.

Read How to Handle Conflict Resolution in the Family »

Published: March 26, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 16, 2020In: Parenting, Relationships / Marriage Tags: control, rules, change, parent coaching, relationships / marriage, communication, conflict, school, kids / children, skills, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, feeling, how to, partner, trust, practical parenting / parents

Have Good Sex to Save Your Marriage

Two hands clasped on a sheet

Sex is one of the top three reasons why couples divorce. That means that it is highly important to work on improving your sex life. Of course, good sex goes hand in hand with good communication, trust, respect and working on keeping the relationship alive.

Attitude to sex is something many couples need to work on. In our growing life, there is not enough education about the importance of sex for health and wellbeing. It is a very sensitive topic that most people are left to learn from experience, friends or even the World Wide Web through porn movies (which unfortunately present a very unhealthy picture of the importance of sex and how to enjoy it).

Many of the clients I see who are separated or considering divorce report that sex was a major issue in their relationship. Not enough, not satisfying or enjoyable, too much, too little, too fast, too slow, only when drunk, feels like a chore, they feel their partner does not deserve it, no romance, not sexy. Every one of these is sad and painful for both parties.

This post is part 28 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Have Good Sex to Save Your Marriage »

Published: March 24, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: June 16, 2021In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: health / wellbeing, divorce, feeling, exercise, partner, motivation, Life Coaching, relationships / marriage, romance, fun, women, attitude, love, how to, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, research

How Can Parents with Different Religions Raise Kids Successfully? (Q&A)

Black child reading the Bible in bed

The question about two parents with different religions or belief systems raising kids has become very relevant in our society today. The world is much more multicultural and there are many mixed couples finding love and wondering about the impact of this on their kids.

My eldest daughter, Eden, is getting married in 2 months to her now-boyfriend, Sandy. Eden and Sandy are a gorgeous couple and we are very happy they found each other. No pressure or anything, but we are also very much looking forward to them having kids.

The interesting thing is that Eden and Sandy come from two different cultural backgrounds, different languages and different faiths. Many of our family members and friends have been wondering about the “chance” of such a relationship succeeding and the difficulty in raising kids.

I cannot say exactly what will happen for Sandy and Eden. I am not a fortune teller after all. I am, however, the state director of a not for profit organization that provides education on diversity and advocates for religious and cultural tolerance. I strongly believe in this work.

In some way, Eden and Sandy have more similarities than many other couples do. For example, they are both migrants, both their parents are still together, they both value different cultures, they both speak languages other than English and appreciate others who speak other languages, they are both kind and accepting of others.

I think the “chance” of a successful relationship depends not on the number of differences between them but in their ability to appreciate and take advantage of the similarities.

Read How Can Parents with Different Religions Raise Kids Successfully? (Q&A) »

Published: February 24, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 28, 2022In: Kids / Children, Parenting Tags: society, education / learning, conflict, thought, how to, attitude, expectation, role model, diversity, partner, fear, questions, religion, choice, kids / children, practical parenting / parents, trust, tips, language, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, beliefs, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, rules, baby / babies, focus, happiness, certainty, values

Ronit’s 100 Happy Valentine’s Day Tips

Couple sitting on a park bench

This year, Gal and I are celebrating our 34th Valentine’s Day and we are very proud and happy to be together. We are also sad to look around and see that fewer and fewer couples are able to find happiness and love on this day. Over the last five years, more of my clients experienced relationship breakdowns than ever before. Divorce and separation are very sad and challenging for the couple and for their families.

This week, I received a request from a radio show to share 5 Valentine’s Day tips with their listening couples. This made me think that I have many more tips and the fill list from my relationship tool kit is below.

I highly recommend having such a list for yourself. If you could give other couples advice on how to have a happy relationship, what would you say? Write down your ideas and read them every once in a while (even I have to read my own advice from time to time, especially in tough times).

Read Ronit’s 100 Happy Valentine’s Day Tips »

Published: February 10, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 25, 2019In: Personal Development, Relationships / Marriage Tags: divorce, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, valentine's day, love languages, change, freedom, happiness, feeling, touch, relationships / marriage, expectation, love, conflict, partner, money, family matters, list, hugs, needs, forgiveness, how to, positive attitude tips, choice, positive, trust, tips

Don’t Clam Up

Clam shell

In previous chapters of the “Save your Marriage” series I explained the two communication patterns that can destroy every marriage: The king/queen and the nitpicker. As I said before, no one becomes a “king” or a “nitpicker” because they enjoy it. Most of the time, they do it on a subconscious level, because they grew up in a house where one or both parents were kings or nitpickers and made them feel small and helpless.

In the last chapters, I explained how parents who abuse or bully, like the “king/queen” or the “nitpicker”, can raise kids who are constantly on guard. In this chapter, I will explain how some parenting styles can “breed” kids who clam up and withdraw into their shells. This communication style can be very devastating for them in their future relationships and marriage.

This post is part 27 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Don’t Clam Up »

Published: November 27, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 2, 2020In: Personal Development, Relationships / Marriage Tags: hope, practical parenting / parents, conflict, communication, anger, focus, positive, abuse, kids / children, success, fear, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, choice, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, change, emotions, communication styles, feeling, relationships / marriage, partner

Don’t Be On Guard

Fencing foil

In the last chapters of “Save Your Marriage”, I explained how some parenting styles can “breed” kids who clam up and withdraw into their shells. This communication style can be very devastating for them in their future relationships and marriage. In this chapter of the series, I will explain how parents who abuse or bully, like the “king/queen” or the nitpicker, can raise kids who are constantly on guard. These kids try to protect themselves from pain and heartache and by that, they invite bullies and conflicts into their lives.

Growing up in a household where you feel constantly attacked and ridiculed, where one or both of your parents make you feel small and helpless, where you have no support and protection, where one or both of your parents nitpick, criticize, complain, are never satisfied and often angry, can make children alert and hypersensitive to any small signs that someone is going to hurt them.

This is actually a very natural reaction, in an attempt to protect themselves. But when taken into adulthood, into relationships or marriage, it can be very damaging. There is a phrase, the best defense is offense. These kids adopt this philosophy because they were attacked a lot. As a result, they sometimes see an attack when there is none. They are very sensitive to criticism and their emotional state is “I am not OK, You’re not OK” (see series I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting for tips on emotional intelligence).

This post is part 26 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Don’t Be On Guard »

Published: November 20, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 29, 2018In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: relationships / marriage, conflict, positive, communication, kids / children, abuse, emotional intelligence, tips, negative, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, change, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, happiness, partner, Life Coaching, practical parenting / parents, communication styles

Good Relationship with Loving Affirmations

True love never lets go.

Relationships and the way we connect with others are very important and essential to our happiness and success in life. Research shows that people who are in good relationships are healthier, happier and they live longer. So, good relationships are the best prescription for a long life. I would take two prescriptions of that kind of medication.

We learn about relationships from the people closest to us – usually, our parents, later on our siblings and much later, from friends. If they model good relationships, we copy them. If the model bad relationships, we model that as well. Why? Because as kids we don’t have any way of filtering bad examples. It is only as we grow that we start developing critical thinking, and we start noticing that relationships at our house are different to other houses. Often times, that can make us frustrated because we don’t have the skills to make things change.

I once worked with a woman who was 37 years old. She had so many partners and no stable relationships. We checked her beliefs and found the source of the problem. We discovered that the origin of it was from her dad leaving her mom and her siblings when she was about 10 years old. He left to be with another women and she adopted a belief that “all man are assholes” (I am quoting). As a result, she did not trust men. With a belief like that, it is hard and even impossible to find a relationship, not to mention keep it.

This post is part 5 of 6 in the series Affirmations

Read Good Relationship with Loving Affirmations »

Published: October 23, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 23, 2014In: Parenting Tags: kids / children, forgiveness, negative, tips, beliefs, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, research, health / wellbeing, divorce, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, mom, freedom, change, partner, love, happiness, hobbies, skills, relationships / marriage, list, success, affirmations, guilt, siblings, positive, practical parenting / parents, trust

Expressing Feelings in a Marriage

Married couple walking down the road

Expressing feelings in a relationship is very important. Feelings are at the heart of every marriage. We get married because we love and have strong and positive feelings towards someone, and we choose to spend our lives and have children with him or her.

As long as we express those happy and wonderful feelings towards our partners, the more happy our relationship with them will be. Problems start when we express those not-so-happy feelings and this can easily get out of control.

Many of my relationship-coaching clients confuse between thoughts and feelings. They learned that expressing feelings was important so they added the phrase “I feel” into their communication. Unfortunately, instead of expressing feelings, they disguised thoughts as feelings.

Imagine your communication with your partner as a ball game. You can throw the ball in a way that your partner will catch or you can throw the ball in a way that will probably hurt them. One of these is called communication and is a constructive way to create a happy marriage. The other is called “the blame game” or painful communication and it contributes to struggles in a marriage. No one wants to play a ball game if they need to protect themselves from getting hurt.

This post is part 25 of 34 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Expressing Feelings in a Marriage »

Published: October 7, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 2, 2020In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: control, emotions, happiness, feeling, relationships / marriage, thought, perception, partner, conflict, frustration, communication, family matters, focus, interpretation, love, positive attitude tips, emotional intelligence, positive, negative, divorce, acceptance / judgment / tolerance

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