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Posts tagged 'parent coaching'

Should My Child Repeat a Year at School?

Little girl making faces

Last week, I got another letter asking “Why and when should children repeat a year of school?” Here is the letter and my answer for you to read, because I get many similar questions and I am sure many parents will find the answer useful.

“My daughter is 8 years old and will go to year 5 this year. She is quite young for her class and is studying with much older children. She is academically an average child and it is quite stressful to keep her where she is. We work very hard at home. Many a times she has mentioned that she finds Math difficult, but the teacher feels she is ready for the next class.

My daughter has a couple of good friends in the class but finds it difficult to be make new friends. When she does not win in various competitive activities, she gets very disheartened as she feels she really worked hard for it. I can understand it’s not easy to compete with older children. Many times, she finds it difficult to complain the teacher about the girls who trouble her, so in a way I would say she is not mature. On the other hand, she is a confident girl. She does speech and drama, dance and other few activities. We feel she should repeat the year, we have been toying with this since last couple of years but now we feel it is high time.

I am concerned about two things: my daughter is quite tall and since she is in year 4, will she cope well emotionally?

I am quite stressed as the school starts next week and we need to talk to the school management. Please can you advise if this is the right way for her?”

Read Should My Child Repeat a Year at School? »

February 3, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting, Ask Ronit Tags: kids / children, education / learning, school, practical parenting / parents, emotional intelligence, how to, choice, change, parent coaching, social skills, k-12 education, academic performance

How to Destroy Good Character Traits in Children: G-Z

Girl with thumbs up, boy with thumbs down

In the previous chapter of the helping kids build character series, I explained about the beliefs we try to instill in our kids. We need to focus on encouraging the good character traits we want our children to have. We should not try to prevent the characters we don’t want them to have.

If good character traits are like plants, the fear that your child will develop a bad character is like watering the plant with weed killer. The character will never grow. For good character to grow and flourish, we need to water it and give it nutritious and healthy fertilizer.

In the last chapter, we listed the A to F of good character traits that we want our kids to have. We talked about some of the major weed killers that prevent these good character traits from growing. This chapter covers the good character traits from G to Z.

This post is part 6 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

Read How to Destroy Good Character Traits in Children: G-Z »

June 30, 2015 by Ronit Baras In: Kids / Children, Parenting Tags: parent coaching, skills, aggressive, sarcasm, how to, positive, fear, kids / children, choice, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, trust, feeling, beliefs, list, control, frustration, mind, practical parenting / parents, communication, change, abuse

How to Destroy Good Character Traits for Children: A to F

Little girls dressed as snow white

In the last chapter, of the Helping Kids Build Character Series, I explained the nature of watering with weed killer. There are certain things we do as parents that prevent good character traits from developing.

If you want to encourage good character traits in your children, there are some important things you should do differently.

Here is a list of good character traits that will not develop in the presence of bad beliefs (“weed killers”). Read them. If there are phrases on the list that you recognize in yourself, try removing them from your day to day speech. See if you can replace them with more positive phrases.

Over the years, I have worked with many parents who succeeded in changing the seeds they were planting, from poisonous communication and planting helpful beliefs. Being a parent can be a burden and a blessing. If you were the one who watered your child’s character with weed killer (rather than nutritious water), only you have the power to change it.

Parents have an amazing power. I have seen many kids and coached many people about beliefs. Working with parents has always been the best solution because me telling a kid “your parents love you” is meaningless compared to a parent saying “I love you”.

This post is part 5 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

Read How to Destroy Good Character Traits for Children: A to F »

June 18, 2015 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting, Kids / Children Tags: fear, kids / children, choice, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, trust, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, negative, feeling, beliefs, list, mind, emotional development, communication, change, practical parenting / parents, focus, parent coaching, skills, sarcasm, compassion, how to, humor

How to Handle Conflict Resolution in the Family

Big family photo

Every family has fights. Even in the most wonderful family, people fight sometimes. Fights can be between the parents, between parents and kid and between kids themselves. Fight create conflict and can damage the delicate fabric of relationships.

However, if you come out of the other side of the fight stronger, it can in fact strengthen the bond between family members. This is why conflict resolution in the family is so important.

If you are a parent and you have fights in your family, rest assures you are perfectly normal. The science of conflict resolution is easy to learn and master. Once you learn the tricks, life can be much easier.

Read How to Handle Conflict Resolution in the Family »

March 26, 2015 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting, Relationships / Marriage Tags: skills, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, feeling, how to, partner, trust, practical parenting / parents, control, rules, change, parent coaching, relationships / marriage, communication, conflict, school, kids / children

How to Use Mirror Neurons to Empower Your Child

Confident little girl

A recent research on mirror neurons has discovered that when we watch someone doing something, the same neurons that fire in their brain also fire in our brain. By watching them, we end up thinking and feeling the same thing they feel by doing.

Our neurons “mirror” their neurons. In other words, when someone eats ice cream, their neurons think “yummy”. When we watch someone eat ice cream, our “yummy” neurons light up the same way.

Imagine what our lives would be like if we could look in the mirror and change what we see in it. Imagine if it could help us change what we see both inside and outside of ourselves.

I think kids are such very special mirrors. They visually project the image of those who stand before them. If you want to see your parenting image, all you have to do is look into your live mirror, your kids.

Read How to Use Mirror Neurons to Empower Your Child »

October 14, 2014 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting Tags: research, parent coaching, video, kids / children, behavior / discipline, feeling, practical parenting / parents, focus

Peer Pressure: The Power of the Group

Teens are often criticized for not being able to stand up to peer pressure. In my parenting workshops I show parents and teachers how much they, as mature adults, grownups and parents, submit to group pressure. They are usually very shocked to discover how many things they do that do not match their own thoughts and beliefs, and how strong their desire is to be accepted, not judged and not criticized by the people around them.

Being social creatures makes us compromise our thoughts and beliefs to match those of the society we live in. It is in some way a survival mechanism that got out of control. In the beginning, we did it to survive in the group. Later on we have to obey the group if we want to be accepted in.

The power of peer pressure was examined many years ago in a famous study called “Asch’s conformity experiment”. This short video can explain how easy it is conform.

Read Peer Pressure: The Power of the Group »

October 2, 2014 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting, Teens / Teenagers Tags: social, video, teens / teenagers, values, parenting teens, books, stress / pressure, beliefs, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, control, feeling, rules, practical parenting / parents, parent coaching, teen books, society

Choosing Parenting Classes

The Baras family in a happy group hug

Many parents think children will learn everything they need to know about life by going to school. Unfortunately (or fortunately), parents themselves play an important part in helping kids develop in a healthy way. That is why I have been running parenting classes for many years.

I believe that by working with parents and giving them skills to help their own kids, we can help children all around the world. Even the best teachers and coaches in the world are not as good as Mom and Dad and parenting classes make even better moms and dads.

Over the years, I asked parents why they decided to come to my parenting classes. I wanted to know what they were thinking, what triggered their search for parenting classes and what their criteria was for picking a service.

The answers I received were interesting, and even a little surprising. Here are just some of them.

Read Choosing Parenting Classes »

June 26, 2014 by Ronit Baras In: Life Coaching, Parenting Tags: practical parenting / parents, skills, success, parent coaching, Life Coaching, kids / children, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, education / learning

I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Being a “You’re OK” Parent

Little boy hugging little girl

In order to convince children that they are OK and good, a parent first needs to know that they are OK and good. Psychologist Thomas A. Harris. suggested four levels of emotional intelligence, that provide a framework for positive parenting. To read about the four levels, see “I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: OK and EQ”. In an ideal world, parents would always be in an “I’m OK, You’re OK” state of mind. For this, for the parents must agree with the “I’m OK” part – they must first believe that they are OK. Once this is established, it is time to work on the “You’re OK” mindset.

Little boy and girl huggingLike a self-fulfilling prophecy, parents who see the good in themselves and their kids tend to raise kids who see the good in themselves as well. This is a great cycle. By taking care of ourselves, we ensure our children and their children know they are good and “OK”. This mindset can impact for many years even after we are gone.

This post is part 6 of 7 in the series I'm OK - You're OK Parenting

Read I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Being a “You’re OK” Parent »

September 24, 2013 by Ronit Baras In: Emotional Intelligence Tags: positive attitude tips, practical parenting / parents, choice, attitude, action, kids / children, beliefs, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, change, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, happiness, health / wellbeing, parent coaching, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, aggressive, feeling, self-fulfilling prophecy, expectation, gratitude, activity, frustration, emotional intelligence, career

I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Being an “I’m OK” Parent

Loving family

In an ideal world, we would all like to be in an “I’m OK, You’re OK” state of mind all the time. People in this state are confident in themselves. They know they always do the best they can, and so does everyone else. Unfortunately, it is not always easy. Life has its own agenda and things do not always happen the way we want them to.

In parenting, circumstances make us shift from one emotional position to another. Our aim should always be to keep an “I’m OK – You’re OK” parenting style as much as possible. We may find ourselves straying to other styles, but the idea is to snap back as fast as possible.

In parent coaching we have many techniques for helping parents shift to an I’m OK, you’re OK mode. They all start by making sure parents think of themselves as “OK” first. When you are on a plane, the safety demonstration always tells you that when the oxygen mask is released, you should always put the mask on yourself first before helping your child. It works the same here. Before we can help our kids think they are OK, first we need to recognize that we are good and OK!

This post is part 5 of 7 in the series I'm OK - You're OK Parenting

Read I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Being an “I’m OK” Parent »

September 17, 2013 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting Tags: positive attitude tips, attitude, kids / children, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, gratitude, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, emotional intelligence, health / wellbeing, choice, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, action, change, practical parenting / parents, parent coaching, activity

How to Raise Gifted Children: Find the switch

In my parenting workshops, when I talk about ways to find that switch in the kids’ brain and talk about Eden, who is emotionally gifted, and Tsoof, who is musically gifted, I get a feeling that many of the participants believe that they were born gifted. The hardest thing for me to do in the workshop is to convince them that Eden and Tsoof were as ordinary and special as all other kids in the world. Sometimes, when I manage to convince my clients how we did it, they sit there in shock and in silence for a minute and ask, “Do you mean your kids are just regular kids?!”

Yes, I do!

“They are as regular as others and they are as special as others. All kids have the light inside. The only difference between them and others is that their parents dedicate enough energy to finding the switch that turns on the light”.

I believe that the essence of life is finding that switch and turning the light on. This light is where all good feeling resides. Where success can find a home, abundance is on our dinner table constantly and happiness shines in every corner of our being. I consider people lucky if their light is on or if they know where the switch is and they can turn it on at will.

The great thing about that light is that it can be used in dark times and life is full of dark moments.

The best time to find the switch and turn the light on is during childhood, long before the dark ages of our conditioned adulthood, long before we think of ourselves as frustrated and unable. This requires parents to dedicate much of their energy to finding that switch.

This post is part 2 of 4 in the series How to Raise Gifted Children

Read How to Raise Gifted Children: Find the switch »

October 4, 2012 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting, Kids / Children Tags: happiness, practical parenting / parents, motivation, teaching / teachers, focus, parent coaching, early childhood, Life Coaching, school, learning styles, success, family matters, emotional intelligence, k-12 education, academic performance, how to, kids / children, choice, behavior / discipline, gifted

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