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Home » communication

communication Tag

Posts tagged 'communication'

How to Have a Hot Relationship

Couple in a hot relationship lying on the grass

Having a relationship is like playing a game of “hot-cold”. We used to play it when we were kids. In this game, someone searched for a hidden object and we gave them clues by saying “hot” when they got close to it and “cold” when they moved away. I remember we used to say “steaming” when the person was very close and “freezing” when they were really far.

Relationships are exactly the same. If both partners are closer to fulfilling each other’s need, they have a hot relationship. If they are far from fulfilling each other’s needs, the relationship is cold.

When two people come together, each one is different from the other. They have a different history, different needs, different expectations, different styles of communication, different skills and talents. Yet, they find something in the other person that makes them attractive to them.

Think of attractive as “hot”, very attractive as “steaming”, unattractive as “cold”, and very unattractive as “freezing”. The scale from “freezing” to “steaming” can predict the quality of the relationship depending on where people sit on the scale.

I work with many couples who come for coaching to save their marriage or long-term relationship. Too many of them say that there is no warmth in their relationship. They have a freezing feeling which makes it hard for them to sustain the relationship.

This post is part 33 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read How to Have a Hot Relationship »

January 24, 2019 by Ronit Baras In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, change, communication, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, relationships / marriage, romance

Choice Theory Can Save Your Marriage

Couple laughing with hot drinks and dog

Relationships are very sensitive. Bringing two people together creates lots of fun and joy, but at the same time, it creates conflict and pain. According to Choice Theory, we can develop habits that create more fun and joy and less conflict and pain.

Dr. William Glasser is an American psychiatrist I highly appreciate. He developed Reality Theory, which later became known as Choice Theory.

In the seventies, Glasser’s work was not widely accepted by his colleagues. While others thought that human behavior was affected by external sources, Glasser believed in personal choice, personal responsibility and personal transformation.

Other psychiatrists categorized certain behaviors as mental disorders and prescribed medication accordingly. Glasser believed he could teach his patients to make better choices to achieve better results.

He applied his theories to education, management and marriage. The examples I give in this post are relevant to marriage.

This post is part 32 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

Read Choice Theory Can Save Your Marriage »

October 17, 2018 by Ronit Baras In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, attitude, change, choice, communication, conflict, control, emotional intelligence, focus, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, relationships / marriage

The Power of Bilingualism

The word Hello in multiple languages

My introduction to learning languages and bilingualism happened 24 years ago, when we moved to Texas, USA, and our daughter started to learn English. As a Special Education teacher, I knew she would be fine, but as a mother, I was scared, because at the age of 4, with the language of a 10 year old, I was afraid she would be left behind.

She wasn’t!

Since then, I have been working with inspiring people who specialize in language acquisition and with many children of migrants around the world. I have learned that parents and teachers play an important role in supporting language development. If they understand the challenges and consider the myths around language, they can help kids with healthy language acquisition.

Read The Power of Bilingualism »

March 8, 2017 by Ronit Baras In: Education / Learning, Parenting Tags: communication, cultural, early childhood, education / learning, family matters, generation gap, k-12 education, kids / children, language, practical parenting / parents, teaching / teachers

Men vs. Women: 6 Stereotypical Differences

Woman in a tie among men in ties

For many years, I stayed out of the “men vs. women” debate, mainly because of my dad. He is an old man who grew up in a very patriarchal and chauvinistic society, yet is the most admirable example of gender equality.

My dad cooked, took care of the kids, helped us with our did homework, cleaned the house (inside and outside), brushed our hair, did arts and craft and was never ashamed of any of it. He had four daughters and one son and I thought he was fair and equal in his attitude to boys and girls.

In fact, my dad’s behavior cluttered my outlook on life in a way, because whenever I heard someone talking about the stereotypical man, I said, “This is not true, because my dad is different”. Now, I have to admit that I was wrong. There is something true about the stereotypes about men and my dad was the odd one out.

Read Men vs. Women: 6 Stereotypical Differences »

December 6, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, change, communication, conflict, control, emotional intelligence, emotions, empathy, expectation, feeling, focus, gender, men, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, relationships / marriage, society, women, work life balance

Children with Auditory Processing Disorders or Not?

A brain made from words marking the different brain functions

I went to study special education to help children and adults with learning difficulties. When I started my journey, over 30 years ago, I thought there were many people with learning difficulties. I still think there are, but in the past, I was convinced they were “organic” – physical, possibly genetic – and therefore hard to change.

Now, after seeing so many children and people of all ages, I think that social attitude creates or aggravates the problems in many cases. Many people have small difficulties that are blown out of proportion and labeled as disorders.

Auditory processing disorders are very popular and easily labeled, even among very young children. Every year that passes, I hear about younger and younger kids with auditory processing disorders. Recently, I even talked to a mother whose son was one year old and she insisted he had an auditory processing disorder. I am qualified enough to know that I cannot assess a child for APD at one year of age.

Read Children with Auditory Processing Disorders or Not? »

October 27, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Education / Learning, Parenting Tags: academic performance, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, auditory, change, communication, health / wellbeing, how to, k-12 education, kids / children, learning disabilities, learning styles, practical parenting / parents, special education, story

Assertiveness: Successful Communication Summary

Middle-aged woman in a suit looking assertive

You can learn assertiveness skills at any stage of life and you can always improve them and gain more respect for yourself and others. In this post, I have gathered all of my assertiveness tips in one big list. I hope this summary will be useful for you and for your children and students.

If we create a society full of assertive people, we will not have conflicts and we will live with each other with respect, so pass this along to everyone you know.

This post is part 6 of 6 in the series Assetiveness

Read Assertiveness: Successful Communication Summary »

October 20, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, aggressive, assertive, beliefs, change, choice, communication, control, emotional intelligence, empowerment, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, positive attitude tips, responsibility, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, tips, values

Assertiveness: Know Your Rights

Assertive woman writing "I'll do it My Way"

So far, I have covered things that affect our ability to be assertive. This post adds some tips on how to know your rights, keep them and be assertive about them. I hope they will help you on your quest to develop your emotional intelligence and communicate with assertiveness.

When you are assertive, you express yourself with confidence without hurting others. You are firm, not a bully. You are clear, not manipulative. You are honest, not aggressive. Healthy communication is based on honesty, clarity and confidence.

First, you have to know your rights in every communication. It takes two to tango and when one has more rights than the other does, this will not be an assertive relationship. I suggest teaching kids these rights too and giving them opportunities to practice them.

This post is part 5 of 6 in the series Assetiveness

Read Assertiveness: Know Your Rights »

October 13, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, assertive, beliefs, change, communication, control, emotional intelligence, empowerment, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, positive attitude tips, responsibility, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, tips, values

Assertiveness: Live by Your Own Standards

Faceless woman with a sign showing arrows pointing at the word CONFIDENCE

Assertiveness is a helpful skill in life, yet most people do not have it. They do not have it because they could not learn it at home or from anyone else except professionals. You see, the people who teach assertiveness must be very confident and not afraid that you might use assertiveness with them, and these people are hard to find.

Am I assertive all the time? No, not really. Sometimes, I choose avoidance or aggression, and every time I use them, I feel uncomfortable. They either hurt me or others, which is not very good. Still, I aim to use assertiveness in my communication with others and most of the time, I do.

Assertiveness requires confidence to express your own thoughts and feeling without fear and without the need, desire or intention to hurt anyone else. It is important to distinguish between having the intention to hurt and actually hurting someone else.

This post is part 4 of 6 in the series Assetiveness

Read Assertiveness: Live by Your Own Standards »

October 6, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, assertive, beliefs, change, choice, communication, control, emotional intelligence, empowerment, expectation, freedom, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, positive attitude tips, responsibility, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, stress / pressure, values

Be Your Child’s Speech Therapist with Mouth Gym

Girl looking thoughtful

Over the last 30 years, I have had a chance to see many children with speech difficulties. Children who do not speak properly may sound cute at first, but this might become an obstacle as they grow up. At some stage, their parents stress about it and take them to a speech therapist or a speech pathologist.

But parents can fix some of the speech problems very easily. This post includes my tips for fixing one of the major speech difficulties – physical sound production. Hundreds of parents around the world have used them and changed their children’s life. If your child has trouble pronouncing words, you do not need a speech therapist. Using the suggestions below will do the same for your child.

Read Be Your Child’s Speech Therapist with Mouth Gym »

September 20, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Education / Learning, Parenting Tags: activity, auditory, communication, fun, how to, kids / children, learning disabilities, practical parenting / parents, teaching / teachers, tips

The Expectations Paradox: Mindfulness is the Cure

A tree with words about what love is

In the last two posts about the expectations paradox, I explained how expectations from others and ourselves can cause us lots of pain and why respect and acceptance are the keys to overcoming them. It is much better to be prepared for the future than to try to control a specific outcome. Today, I will describe how to develop respect and acceptance with mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a state of reflection with no judgment. This state is similar to mediation. We observe and do not let the ego interfere with our observation and tempt us to label and judge what we experience. In a mindfulness state, we do not give a rating to the event, thought or feeling. We only name it. In a higher state of mindfulness, even naming it is not necessary. We just notice.

I remember the first time I mediated. Gal and I were in California at a meditation course. Every week, we learned a different kind of meditation. We did walking, eating, light, mantra and visualizing meditations and we were very confused. Millions of thoughts ran through our minds and we had no control over them. When we got home, we went to sleep and felt overwhelmed.

This post is part 3 of 3 in the series The Expectations Paradox

Read The Expectations Paradox: Mindfulness is the Cure »

September 13, 2016 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, change, communication, communication styles, control, emotional intelligence, empowerment, expectation, love languages, meditation, mindfulness, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, positive attitude tips, responsibility, success

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