Emotional Intelligence Category

Posts about recognising and managing your emotions and supporting others emotionally

How to Be Happy: 36 Habits of Happy People

This week, on the 20th of March, is the international day of happiness. I thought a good way to celebrating it would be to learn how to be happy by looking at the habits of happy people.

We all want to be happy and the search for happiness is gaining serious momentum in the last decade. I’m sure people searched for happiness way before that, but advanced digital technology has made it easier to learn more about happiness.

Happiness is now a science. I focus on happiness in my and help my clients become happier coaching. That’s why I call my business Be Happy in LIFE.

Simply put, happy people have habits that promote happiness. So, develop the habits of happy people, and you will be happy too.

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How to Clean Away Resentment and Be Happy

Couple showing resentment towards each other

Resentment is a destructive feeling. We get it from being forced to do things we don’t want to do. It comes from feeling powerless. But we can clear away resentment.

We’re all born with the disease to please. We learn thorough our parents’ behavior, and a set of “rewards” and “punishments”. This pressure to do what’s expected of us to avoid negative consequences develops a dependency on the approval of others. Later, when we go to school, we take this need to please others to the next level and eventually dedicate our lives to it.

The problem with pleasing others is that every second we spend trying to please someone else, we step further away from ourselves. We can’t find out who we are and express ourselves authentically. Many people find it very difficult to hear that it damages our self-image.

This post is part 7 of 48 in the series Make a List

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Better Family Relationships: How to Build Trust

Family relationships can be hard, let’s be honest. We have a relationship with everyone we come in contact with. Some relationships are short. Some are long. Some are intimate, and others not so much. In every relationship, our actions affect the dynamic. We can’t just do or say whatever we want, whenever we want.

Why? Because we don’t exist in a bubble. Our words have meaning.

It’s amazing how many people are never exposed to the concept of effective and thoughtful communication. I find people of all ages coming to my leadership camps and saying, “How has no one ever taught me this?”

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Relationship Problems: Why You Shouldn’t Ask Why

Relationship problems are a natural part of life, and usually stems from either or both parties’ insecurity. Many people think that if they understand the source of a conflict, they will find a solution more easily. Sometimes, asking “Why?” helps, but often, it can cause more harm than good.

Why?

Because “Seek and you shall find”. When someone asks us a question, we activate a mechanism in the brain that searches for an answer. It will not rest until it finds one.

Questions are like playing “fetch” with a dog. Ask, and your mind’s “dog” will search for the “ball” (or “stick”).

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Domestic Violence is Devastating. We Need to Stop It!

As we all know, the COVID-19 pandemic has affected almost every part of our daily life. Work, school and social engagements were adjusted to follow the restrictions. But the most troubling change is the huge increase in domestic violence all around the world.

Domestic violence has been damaging our society in more ways than COVID-19 ever will. But no one thinks we should shut down schools, states, airlines, restaurants, gyms or businesses until we eradicate it from our society. And we’re going to pay for this long after COVID-19 is gone.

Domestic violence is primarily directed at women and children. Why? Because they are more vulnerable.

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Negative Emotions: How to Really Help Your Kids Manage Them

As parents, it’s natural for us to want to keep our children from feeling what we perceive as negative emotions. We want to keep them from suffering. But as hard as it is to admit, by doing so, we often do more harm than good.

Most people grow up thinking that our purpose in life is to avoid suffering. But it isn’t!

We aren’t supposed to avoid suffering, we’re supposed to manage it. We should never fight it, or even try to control it. We must live with it and find ways to use it to our advantage.

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Light up the Darkness this Year – Happy 2021

In 2020, I spoke a lot to my clients about pain, and our desire to get rid of it. We’re all afraid of pain, and sadly, the more afraid we are, the more pain we have. Pain is darkness, while joy is light.

It’s important to understand that pain is not the enemy. It’s only a messenger. And in 2021, I sincerely hope to see more joy.

I was 25 years old when I first encountered the concept of the body sending us messages. If you’re a spiritual person, you might think it’s God, or some other universal force. But no matter what you believe, paying attention to these messages helps greatly in maintaining your health.

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How to Be a Winner in Life

Most people these days rush around, trying to get somewhere. They see life as a competition or a game they need to win. They keep wondering how to be a winner in life.

As we evolve and can rise above the survival mode in our life, we all ask the big question “What are we here for?” Looking for reasons for our existence is probably a good sign. Some call it an identity crisis.

I call it an awakening. It’s a point in time when we realize life is a game we play, and we suddenly want to understand it.

Much like any game, we play to win. Losing is no fun and we try to avoid it like the plague. When we’re happy, it feels like we’re winning, and when we’re unhappy, we feel like we’re losing.

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If I Only Knew: How to Learn from the Past

Have you ever said to yourself, “If only I knew [something], my life would be better now”? I know I have. Let’s look at how we can use this question to learn from the past, heal, and have a better future.

When I was a younger everyone wanted to be smart. Everyone praised high academic achievements and tried to get them. Yet even when I started to get good grades, which wasn’t easy for me, I still had the feeling they weren’t enough.

I was surrounded by smart people who got amazing grades, but they weren’t happy, and I didn’t envy them. Eventually, I realized that being wise is more useful than being smart.

This post is part 47 of 48 in the series Make a List

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How to Vaporize Psychological Pain with Psychological Painkillers

Bronze sculpture of man holding his head

Everyone understands what physical pain is. And the medical world is full of treatments and painkillers to eliminate this pain. But psychological pain is not that well-known and treating it is a bit more challenging.

Physical pain comes from damage to the tissues of the body. Psychological pain is a suffering with no apparent physical origin. You can even say that all the feelings we don’t like – sadness, grief, anger, contempt, frustration, rage, depression, etc. – are forms psychological pain.

Physical pain is often localized, temporary and associated with some harmful or damaging physical trigger. Psychological pain is a more generalized, lasting, unpleasant feeling resulting from an inability of to cope with emotional challenges. But sometimes, it manifests just like physical pain does.

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