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Home » anger

anger Tag

Posts tagged 'anger'

How to Clean Away Resentment and Be Happy

Couple showing resentment towards each other

Resentment is a destructive feeling. We get it from being forced to do things we don’t want to do. It comes from feeling powerless. But we can clear away resentment.

We’re all born with the disease to please. We learn thorough our parents’ behavior, and a set of “rewards” and “punishments”. This pressure to do what’s expected of us to avoid negative consequences develops a dependency on the approval of others. Later, when we go to school, we take this need to please others to the next level and eventually dedicate our lives to it.

The problem with pleasing others is that every second we spend trying to please someone else, we step further away from ourselves. We can’t find out who we are and express ourselves authentically. Many people find it very difficult to hear that it damages our self-image.

This post is part 7 of 49 in the series Make a List

Read How to Clean Away Resentment and Be Happy »

Published: March 9, 2021 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 10, 2021In: Relationships / Marriage Tags: behavior / discipline, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, how to, choice, control, happiness, motivation, relationships / marriage, anger

How to Overcome Fight, Flight & Freeze in Relationships

Little girl looking happy and excited

There’s some amount of stress in every relationship, and we respond to it through Fight, Flight or Freeze. So how can we overcome these responses, relax and stay together?

Watching babies and toddlers playing “hide and seek” can teach us a lot about the human mind and how we can improve the relationship game.

Our granddaughter is 3 years old, and we look after her once or twice a week (lucky us). She loves to play “hide and seek”, and we all love to watch her having fun.

For a long time, we had to nominate a person to hide with her, so she would get the hang of it. Because whenever we asked, “Where is Ayla?” she would answer from her hiding place…

Hilarious, right?!

Read How to Overcome Fight, Flight & Freeze in Relationships »

Published: December 9, 2020 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 9, 2020In: Parenting Tags: stress / pressure, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, how to, fear, trust, relationships / marriage, conflict, anger, aggressive

3 Emotional Painkillers

Man holding his face in his hands in pain

In Holistic Approach to Emotional Pain, I explained why pain is not a punishment and we do not need to fight it. I also explained how the use of physical or emotional “substances” only makes us feel the pain longer and disrupts the function of the natural pharmacy we have in our body, which is in charge of flooding our system with “painkillers”.

In this post, I will share 3 “emotional painkillers” that will make pain go away faster.

1. The Rating Technique

The first emotional painkiller is used frequently by nurses and doctors. When you are in a hospital, before giving you your painkillers, the nurse will ask you to rate your pain from 1 to 10 and use this as a guide to determine your dosage.

This makes you develop an awareness of your feeling. If you say that the pain is a 9, the nurse will give you more painkillers and you will feel a bigger relief from them. If you say the pain is 3, the nurse may ask if you can wait a little longer and give you nothing for an hour.

Read 3 Emotional Painkillers »

Published: March 29, 2016 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 25, 2019In: Personal Development Tags: how to, feeling, fear, expectation, beliefs, change, happiness, anger, positive attitude tips, focus, attitude, emotional intelligence, stress / pressure, meditation, health / wellbeing, depression, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement

How to Switch Your Parenting from Preaching to Teaching

The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don't tell you what to see - Alexander K. Trenfor

In Parenting is Teaching, not Preaching, I explained why kids resent parents who take too long to explain things and why a relationship based on lecturing your kids is not healthy and makes the kids just not listen to you.

Today, I share five tips that will make the communication and cooperation at home better for you and show you how to switch your parenting from preaching to teaching.

1. No Pink Elephants

Parents are used to telling their kids what not to do. The words “don’t”, “stop” and “no” are very common in the parenting vocabulary. Unfortunately, using them only makes the child do more of what you are trying to stop. Read Beware of Pink Elephants for more.

Rather than telling your kids what not to do, tell them what you want them to do and notice how their behavior changes dramatically.

Read How to Switch Your Parenting from Preaching to Teaching »

Published: March 22, 2016 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 2, 2023In: Parenting Tags: trust, behavior / discipline, beliefs, education / learning, control, expectation, rules, emotional development, communication, generation gap, practical parenting / parents, abuse, change, values, anger, emotional intelligence, sarcasm, how to, listening, role model, tips, choice, acceptance / judgment / tolerance

Anger Management: What NOT to do when you are angry

Anger management

Anger is a state of mind that prevents us from thinking clearly. When people are angry, they do and say things they regret later on. Anger is an emotional state that brings hostility with it.

I once saw a quote that says that anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That helped me rethink my own anger. The problem with anger is the side effect of what we do when we are angry, so this post tells you what not to do when you are angry.

The secret to anger management is preparing in advance. If you pay attention and avoid the things listed below, you will be in a better place.

This post is part 3 of 3 in the series Anger Management

Read Anger Management: What NOT to do when you are angry »

Published: December 8, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 8, 2015In: Relationships / Marriage, Personal Development Tags: sleep, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, meditation, research, control, violence, change, alcohol, conflict, anger

Live Life with No Regrets

Live life with no regrets written on a medal

Regrets are a heavy burden we carry with us throughout our life. They are punishments we give ourselves for thinking about something we have done, or not done, that we wish we could have done differently.

I remember my mom warning me “you’re going to regret this”. She said it because she had no other ways to convince me to do things her way.

Regrets are very funny, because we can only have them after we experience something. The reason I say they are funny is that if I was a fortuneteller and could predict the outcome, I would have done things differently anyway. So regrets can only happen in hindsight which is always 20/20.

13 common regrets we can all do without

If you want to know what most people regret, just to prepare yourself and try to rethink things before you do them, here is a list of the most common regrets. Try to avoid them as much as you can (if you can).

Read Live Life with No Regrets »

Published: December 3, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 24, 2019In: Personal Development Tags: inner peace, relationships / marriage, anger, decision making, time management, positive attitude tips, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, gratitude, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, love, guilt, money, forgiveness, emotional intelligence

Kids under Stress: How to Deal with Stress the Easy Way

Baby boy looking worried

In Kids under Stress: Diagnose Stress Symptoms without Psychiatrists, I covered easy ways to diagnose symptoms of stress in children, without having to go to psychiatrists that are very likely give your child medication that might prevent them from developing coping mechanisms and might damage them for life.

Once you have confirmed the stress, you will want to know how to deal with stress and start helping your child. So here is a list of easy solutions you can use at home to help your child cope. No Psychiatrists. No Medication. These methods take the same time to work as medication does, are just as effective and have no side effects, so they are much better in the long run.

Read Kids under Stress: How to Deal with Stress the Easy Way »

Published: November 3, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 8, 2015In: Parenting, Kids / Children, Health / Wellbeing Tags: stress / pressure, health / wellbeing, drugs, feeling, emotional intelligence, addiction, depression, frustration, anxiety, practical parenting / parents, how to, anger, aggressive

Kids under Stress: Diagnose Stress Symptoms without Psychiatrists

Boy looking worried. Worrying too often can be one of many stress symptoms

Stress is the epidemic of the modern world. All health concerns are associated with stress and as time goes on, stress goes up and stress symptoms show earlier and earlier in life. I was shocked to discover that psychiatrists now prescribe drugs to children as young as 3 years old!

Yes, instead of teaching children to deal with the feelings they have, which is what emotional intelligence is all about, we give them drugs that prevent their body from coping and developing the mechanisms to cope with stress.

Use of drugs to manage stress prevents the body from producing chemicals to calm the body. Over time, the stress increases and we have to increase the use of drugs to cope with natural and healthy life processes. Sadness, disappointment and anger are all healthy feelings, essential for our survival. The use of drugs to suppress them sends a message to the body that they are not healthy feelings for us and makes us helpless and powerless.

As a parent, I have a strong desire to keep my kids away from therapists (yes, even doctors, as much as I can). Why? Because for some reason, kids who are in therapy for a long time form the belief that something is wrong with them. As a life coach and special education professional, I can tell you that working with disabilities and learning difficulties is much easier than working with a child that thinks something is wrong with him or her.

Read Kids under Stress: Diagnose Stress Symptoms without Psychiatrists »

Published: October 21, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: April 18, 2022In: Kids / Children, Health / Wellbeing, Parenting Tags: how to, anger, aggressive, stress / pressure, health / wellbeing, drugs, feeling, emotional intelligence, addiction, depression, frustration, anxiety, practical parenting / parents

The Stress Pill: The Final 30 Causes of Stress

Smiley pill

There are many causes of stress in our life. In the previous chapter of the stress pill series, I listed 30 causes of stress, which you may choose to avoid. Here are some more scientific evidence-based beliefs, ideas and thoughts that increase your level of stress.

1. Be dependent on others! We are not meant to be alone and it is only fair to expect others to do things for us. If you can count on someone else to do the job, then let them do it. Avoid going to new place on your own and never associate with new people. Always go to new places with a friend. If your friend is not coming to school for example, do not go to school that day because your productivity will be low anyway. Alternatively, you could recognize that you are unique. Your desires are your own. If you wait for someone else to do things for you, you may never get them done.

2. Everything that went wrong is your fault! Even if you had no direct connection to it, think that it is your fault. You could have done something to change it, so why didn’t you? Take the blame for everything. It makes you a sage! Unfortunately, it makes you tired and stressed too. Despite what you might think, not everything is related to you, and not everything is your responsibility to fix.

This post is part 4 of 4 in the series The Stress Pill

Read The Stress Pill: The Final 30 Causes of Stress »

Published: May 5, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: May 5, 2015In: Personal Development Tags: stress / pressure, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, thought, how to, list, choice, change, happiness, anger, sarcasm, tips

The Stress Pill: 30 More Stressors

A pile of pills

In the previous chapter of The Stress Pill, I described some ways people make themselves stressed. I call them “stress pills”. Others call them Stressors.

Here are another 30 tips on how to increase your daily dosage of stress. Of course, if you can avoid them, your stress level will go down and your happiness will go up.

This post is part 3 of 4 in the series The Stress Pill

Read The Stress Pill: 30 More Stressors »

Published: April 28, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: April 28, 2015In: Personal Development Tags: love, dreams, list, skills, anger, success, persistence, how to, positive, choice, tips, trust, stress / pressure, negative, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, failure, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, change, feeling, drugs, happiness, expectation, focus, relationships / marriage, procrastination

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