addiction Tag

Posts tagged 'addiction'

Addiction in the Family

Addiction a dependency on an object, a substance or an activity. As hard as it is to admit, we are all addicted in some way or another. If you want to know if you are addicted do something, take it out of your life for a week and watch your reaction.

People can be addicted to food, phone, TV, a person (like their spouse), work, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, glue, sex, medication, gambling, drugs and more. I had a friend who was addicted to pain killers. She took them as if she was eating candy, and it became obvious she had an addiction because she could not cope without them and needed more and more of them over time.

It is very important to remember that every addiction we develop is an attempt to fill an emotional and/or physical “hole”. We want it to give us the feeling we are missing without it. This is as true when we talk about drugs as it is when we talk about food.

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Don’t Give Your Kids Psychiatric Drugs!

No matter how hard parenting is, giving your child psychiatric drugs must be considered very seriously, because it is very often a bad idea. Here is why.

Working with parents and kids for 30 years, I can tell you that it is not easy to be a parent. It is not easy because unlike computers or other gadgets, kids do not come with an instruction manual and they do not behave in a way that is easy to predict.

Inexperienced parents react to things that do not work as they expect. Experienced parents, having raised other kids through the same situation, can see the patterns and not panic when something unexpected happens.

I realized this when I had an early childhood center. After working in a group of 30 toddlers, I became an experienced parent in a flash. Why? Because when you deal with 30 kids, you can see that when your child does not behave the way you expect, he/ she is still normal. When you see your toddler touching his/ her sex organs, you may think something is wrong with him/her, but when you see 30 toddlers doing it, and you see them stop when you do not pay attention to it, you feel a bit more relaxed about your own toddler and comfort yourself that he/she is normal.

Inexperienced parents have a problem with the concept of normality. Since they have nothing to compare to, they do not know what is normal and what is not and too often jump to the conclusion that something is wrong with their child and needs to be fixed. This fear and doubt mindset about children’s development, behavior and achievement can cause many problems, mainly because it determines the parents’ course of action.

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Kids under Stress: How to Deal with Stress the Easy Way

In Kids under Stress: Diagnose Stress Symptoms without Psychiatrists, I covered easy ways to diagnose symptoms of stress in children, without having to go to psychiatrists that are very likely give your child medication that might prevent them from developing coping mechanisms and might damage them for life.

Once you have confirmed the stress, you will want to know how to deal with stress and start helping your child. So here is a list of easy solutions you can use at home to help your child cope. No Psychiatrists. No Medication. These methods take the same time to work as medication does, are just as effective and have no side effects, so they are much better in the long run.

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Kids under Stress: Diagnose Stress Symptoms without Psychiatrists

Stress is the epidemic of the modern world. All health concerns are associated with stress and as time goes on, stress goes up and stress symptoms show earlier and earlier in life. I was shocked to discover that psychiatrists now prescribe drugs to children as young as 3 years old!

Yes, instead of teaching children to deal with the feelings they have, which is what emotional intelligence is all about, we give them drugs that prevent their body from coping and developing the mechanisms to cope with stress.

Use of drugs to manage stress prevents the body from producing chemicals to calm the body. Over time, the stress increases and we have to increase the use of drugs to cope with natural and healthy life processes. Sadness, disappointment and anger are all healthy feelings, essential for our survival. The use of drugs to suppress them sends a message to the body that they are not healthy feelings for us and makes us helpless and powerless.

As a parent, I have a strong desire to keep my kids away from therapists (yes, even doctors, as much as I can). Why? Because for some reason, kids who are in therapy for a long time form the belief that something is wrong with them. As a life coach and special education professional, I can tell you that working with disabilities and learning difficulties is much easier than working with a child that thinks something is wrong with him or her.

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Addictions: Are you Addicted to Your Beliefs?

When we hear the word “addiction”, we think of bad things. Most people think of drugs and alcohol, when in fact, we are all addicted to something even if we don’t drink alcohol or take illegal drugs. If every addiction were illegal, we would all be living outside the law.

Addiction is actually an idea. It’s the thought that we cannot live without something. When we are addicted to something, it is because we think/feel/believe that the thing we are addicted to is essential to our survival and the fear of living without it is greater than the fear of the consequences of consuming it.

That was a full on concept, but please read it again:

When we are addicted to something, it does not mean we don’t understand the consequences of consuming it. It means that the fear of not consuming it is greater.

This is why it is hard to fight addiction. Our subconscious mind is stronger than our understanding of the consequences so let’s stop talking about the consequences, because they will never be the reason we stop believing anything.

Research on addictions has found that consuming something (like drugs, alcohol or sugar) is not enough to become addicted to it. We consume it when we have a void, because it allows us to manage better with that void. People who connect well with others, are in a happy relationship, are active and have a good social life are less likely to become addicted. Therefore, the way to help everybody overcome addictions is not punishing them for finding a solution that gives them (brief moments of) comfort, but helping them create the connections they need to replace their addiction.

It is important to understand that we are not only addicted to substances, but also to thoughts and ideas. Even substance addictions are based on strong beliefs. In a research on alcohol consumption, participates were given water to drink, but were told they were drinking alcohol. They behaved later on as if they were drunk, showing impaired coordination, giggling and even throwing up, just because they BELIEVED they were drinking alcohol.

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How to Control Anxiety: 35 More Tips

Anxiety is one of the most debilitating feelings we can have. We are anxious when we imagine a negative future. We do this in our head, triggering many processes in the brain that make us feel helpless and lost. Therefore, learning how to control anxiety can be very important in living a happy and healthy life.

Last week, I shared 25 tips on how to calm anxiety. Here are 35 more tips on how to control anxiety, which I hope you will find useful and easy to follow.

How to Control Anxiety Tips (26-59):

26. Tell yourself “I am safe” whenever you feel unsafe. Remember that anxiety is all in your head. Teach your head to say it whenever anxiety happens and it will do it after enough practice.

27. Set goals. Make sure to write them down. Having goals and having anxiety is the same process. We go into the future and in both of them, in our mind, but with goals, we imagine a positive future!

This post is part 3 of 3 in the series How to Deal with Anxiety

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Common Stress Causes

In 3 Strategies to Find Your Sources of Pressure, I explained why it is important to recognize the sources of our pressure in order to eliminate stress in life and gave three strategies to find the stress causes in your life. If you have used these strategies, you are ready to use this list of common stress causes to refine your findings.

1. Lack of sleep is a major cause of stress.

2. Craving is a small source of pressure. Whenever you say to yourself, “I have to eat/do/be something”, you are putting pressure on yourself.

3. Addictions are a huge cause of pressure. Why? Because when we don’t have that thing we are addicted to, our brain goes into panic attack. Addiction can be to food, drinks (alcohol, coke…) to people, routines. If you want to know if you are addicted, try leaving without that thing for 3 weeks and see how the pressure builds up.

4. Caffeine is a big source of addiction. When our body has overdoes of Caffeine (coffee, tea, coke and chocolate) it will become edgy. If you want to recognize how much it affects you, stop any caffeine for 3 days and notice how nervous you are because your body goes through withdrawal symptoms.

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100 Tips for a Happy and Healthy Life

Everyone wants to have either a happy and healthy life or a healthy and happy life, in these orders. I think of happiness as a very inclusive concept: I want to be happy with my health, happy with my relationships, happy with my family, happy with my work, happy with money, happy with friends, happy with my art, happy with my friendships, happy with the direction I take in life and happy with an endless list of other things.

Here is one of my top tips for a happy and healthy life. Take the tips that resonate with you, feel free to change any of them to make them fit your style and your life, or add new ones if there are some that are not applicable to you.

If you have 100 tips and you follow one every day, your life will quickly become both happier and healthier.

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I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Shame

It is not easy to parent when our young kids just do not do what we want them to do. It was once popular to physically punish children for not doing what they are told. It was believed that if pain was associated with not doing what you are told, children would immediately obey.

This strategy was only useful for figures in authority (like parents and teachers). Unfortunately, it did not provide the desired outcome. Children simply learned not to get caught. If an authority figure disappeared or lost their power, the subject would revenge, big time.

After parents, there are authority figures like teachers, bosses, and managers who used shame as an alternative to physical punishment. It was a way to punish through emotional pain, without the physical pain. This seemed to work but the side effects can be severe.

This post is part 2 of 7 in the series I'm OK - You're OK Parenting

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Know Your Partner: Beliefs & Attitudes

To continue our “Know Your Partner” series, I want to share questions about attitudes and beliefs with you this week. It is hard to admit, but many of our beliefs and attitudes are part of our identities and can be the cause of relationship breakup or relationship build up. They are extremely important and somehow a bit sensitive.

The important thing is to find out which of these beliefs or attitudes are “musts” – those things that you are not willing to compromise on. For example, Gal and I do not share the same political opinion or even religious beliefs but this has never been a conflict between us.

The idea behind these questions is to find out what we think we “must” have and what our partner thinks they “must” have. Agreements will be easier to keep once we know and make a conscious decision to accept our partner rather than ignore their musts.

The attitudes and belief we will discuss are about culture, race, ethnicity, difference, truth and law, politics and community, media and religion.

This post is part 6 of 8 in the series Know Your Partner

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