persistence Tag

Posts tagged 'persistence'

I Want to Become a Life Coach: What You Should Know First

As an experienced life coach, people often contact me and say, “I want to become a life coach. Teach me what to do”. If you are thinking of becoming a professional life coach too, this post is for you.

Life coaching is an uplifting and fulfilling profession. I have been doing this work, in various formats, for 32 years now. I enjoy every minute of it and find it my life’s purpose. I can highly recommend becoming a life coach as a fantastic option for those who want to help others succeed, achieve and be happy.

Why?

Because in coaching, the clients’ success is our success.

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Eddie the Eagle: Determination and Great Parenting

Watching the movie Eddie the Eagle this week made me think again about my own children and the many children I work with. I realized that no one ever gets to the top, whether it is a top in a ski slope, the top of a class, the top of a sport or the top of a skill without determination and without someone holding the ladder while they climb up.

Being a different child is not easy. I know what it means, because I was different. There are two reasons for this. One, you cannot look at others and do what they do. Two, others do not like different people. There is something awkward about them, something that means hard work. Being social means building rapport, and it is hard to relate to someone who is different.

Supporting children in their adventures is linked strongly with the permission we give ourselves, their parents, to dream big. When we practice dreaming and following our dreams, we give our children permission to do the same.

In the movie, Eddie’s dad, who is a plasterer, tries constantly to convince his son to stop trying to be in the Olympics, while his mom is supportive of his adventures. At one point, Eddie asks his dad, “Have you ever had a dream?” and his dad said, “Yes… to be a plasterer”.

Michael (Eddie) Edwards was a clumsy young boy with a physical disability who dreamed of being an Olympic athlete. He is physically challenged and socially unaccepted, and while his mom supports his dreams, his dad does everything in his power to get him “off the clouds” and be “normal”.

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Helping Kids Build Healthy and Powerful Character Traits

Many parents talk to me about their kids’ character traits and behavior. “He is a stubborn kid. He was always stubborn” or “She is a nag. She nagged from the first day she came home”. I wonder how much of what these parents are describing is real character (permanent and unchangeable) and how much of it we can change.

All kids are born with their unique character, a personality. This becomes really obvious when you have your second child. You realize that some of how they behave is just something they are born with. You notice that they have a certain character from the very first day you spend with them.

Unfortunately, not all character traits are wonderful and great. How they develop later on in life depends mainly on how we view these traits and how we react to them. For example, many parents treat their kids’ behavior as a result of a character trait. Since character is solid and fixed, they thing this behavior cannot be changed.

This post is part 1 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

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The Stress Pill: 30 More Stressors

In the previous chapter of The Stress Pill, I described some ways people make themselves stressed. I call them “stress pills”. Others call them Stressors.

Here are another 30 tips on how to increase your daily dosage of stress. Of course, if you can avoid them, your stress level will go down and your happiness will go up.

This post is part 3 of 4 in the series The Stress Pill

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Parenting By Example

Even though this video was about how cute animals are, I could not help thinking how wonderful the big dog was at encouraging the little puppy to try something it thought was too hard. It did not bark, it did not push, it did not show disappointment. It simply let by example. It did not give up when it did not work the first time, or even the first three ties. It kept doing it again and again, until the puppy was confident enough to try it for himself.

Parenting is the same. When we want our kids to do things that they are afraid to do, we need to show them how we do it. Again and again. Without shouting, telling them they are small and unable, calling them names or showing disappointment. We do not even need to push them to do the things they cannot do, do not want to do, or are afraid to do. We need to lead by example. Again and again. Until our kids are confident enough to do it themselves.

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Down Syndrome & Inspiration

I learnt about Down Syndrome first hand during my first year of university. I was working with a child with Down Syndrome during my work experience. At first, it was scary and I felt devastated. After getting to know the kid, I learned that he was no different than any other child with intellectual difficulties. To my greatest surprise, he improved quickly and learned a lot. It made me wonder how far we could go. I had my doubts when he did not get things the first time around, but he taught me that as long as I continued to teach him, he would continue to learn.

This experience, coupled with my work on a project about creative thinking (where we tried to teach physics to grade 1 students), taught me that too often we limit kids by our expectations. If we allow them to move forward at their own pace, they will exceed our highest expectations.

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Inspiration for Success: A Frog and a Parrot

When those around us do not support us, we can try to get rid of them. But sometimes they are the people we love, those who are close to us. If we got rid of all the people we feel do not give us love, cannot give us care, consideration, encouragement, motivation, hope, inspiration, kindness, empathy, compassion, or forgiveness, we would probably be a bit lonely. If they stay around us, we need to develop selective hearing. The best way for me to explain what I mean is through the story of the deaf frog.

Once upon a time, a group of small frogs decided to have a climbing competition. Their goal was to reach the top of a very tall tower. The frog community was very happy and excited. Many frogs gathered around the tower to watch the race and cheer the competitors on. The tower was so tall that no one in the crowed really believed the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. Throughout the competition, the crowd said things like: “The tower is too high”, “Oh, way too difficult”, “They will never make it to the top”, “There is no chance they will succeed”, and the tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one. At those who kept climbing the crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult! No one will make it!”, “Just give up!”, “What needs to happen, for you to understand that you cannot make it?” and more and more tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued to climb higher and higher. This one tiny frog refused to give up and kept on climbing. With a final big effort, he reached the top. When the winning frog came down, all of the other tiny frogs wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. They asked him how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. It turned out that the winning frog was deaf!

This post is part 2 of 2 in the series Inspiration For Success

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Inspiration for Success: The Climb

Some goals are very hard to reach. That is why climbing is often used as an inspirational metaphor. Imagine yourself wanting to reach the top of a very high mountain. You know that it is going to be hard and maybe even long. You can prepare yourself for some of the paths you will need to take to reach the top of the mountain, but for others, you can’t.

In life coaching, we say that we can only work on the things we can prepare for. Why? Because “we do not know what we do not know” so we cannot prepare for it. We are not fortune tellers. Often we are able to think of a few challenges we might encounter on the road to wherever we are going, but we never know exactly what we will face. We cannot carry absolutely everything we might need for any possible unforeseen event.

Every mountain requires a climb. Sometimes the hill is steep and sometimes it is moderate. Some people have smaller legs and they need more steps, while others have giant legs and require less energy. Sometimes, you are physically strong, have lots of muscles and can run up the hill. Sometimes, you are a bit weaker and must rest every 2 meters. Regardless of your circumstances, climbing requires effort. The thing that determines if we make it to the top is whether we believe we can. Because as the saying goes, “if you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are right”.

This post is part 1 of 2 in the series Inspiration For Success

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What are you made of?

From time to time, being so involved with parents and parenting, people send us stories and video clips about special parents who truly go above and beyond what most people would do for their kids. It makes me wonder about what parents are made of.

Imagine you are in the delivery room, having your baby boy. You are overjoyed, until the doctor examines him. You already know something is not right and then you hear this, “I’m terribly sorry, but your son was born with no eyes and with a certain debilitating problem in the joints that will make his movements very limited”.

If you are feeling the urge to get up and run for your life, away from the enormous burden of dependence, struggle and hopelessness, please stop for the next 6 minutes and see how a special pair of parents, especially the father, have handled such a fate and turned it around into the most inspiring story of dedication and triumph over the odds.

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Never Too Late

For some people, the beginning of a new year (and their birthday), is a sad day. When everyone around talks about goals, motivation and New Year resolutions, it is hard to avoid measuring our achievements from the previous year and those we have not achieved stand out like a sore thumb. “There you have it – another proof you have not achieved your goals and time is ticking. If you don’t get your act together, it’s going to be too late”.

Is it?

The ticking of time as it runs out is an illusion we adopt as soon as we learn to tell the time. Together with the sense of the achievement (that we can tell the time), the loss of freedom and hope starts creeping in as time starts to control us. This is the birth of the notion that something can be “late”, which sits in our mind together with frustration, helplessness and giving up. From there, the road to “too late” is short.

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