Improve your life and grow as a person by making these lists – what makes you happy, who are your friends and lots more
One day, I took my daughter Eden, who was 16 years old at the time, to a workshop I ran with a group of women about life skills and relationships. When we reached the positive thinking and happiness part of the workshop, I asked everyone to go home and think of a 100 things that would make them happy.
Read Make a list: List Making »
When you present yourself to an unknown person, you need to examine your thoughts, beliefs and feelings towards yourself and this may not be easy. When people are asked to describe themselves, they sometimes question whether this is who they are or who they think they are. For the purpose of making this list, who you think you are is all there is, so just write that.
Read Make a list: About Myself »
Our definition of friendship evolves over the years. At first, our friends are the kids we play with, even when we envy them or hate them. As we grow up, our definition becomes deeper and more meaningful, but also more selective.
Dan, one of my personal life coaches, told me about this list on the first sessions I had with him.
“When I was 18, my dad sent me to an evening with a motivational speaker”, Dan said, “He told us to write down 100 things we want to do in our lifetime. I write my list and put it somewhere. When I became a life coach, I found my list again and I was amazed at how many of the things in it I had already done “.
About a month ago, I started writing about list making and I was very happy to receive many encouraging comments about how effective and motivating it is for people to make these lists.
Today’s list is about looking forward into the future. The Roman philosopher Seneca said, “If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable”. Imagine yourself sailing in the ocean of life. You need to know where you are going, right?
Gratitude is an excellent cure for taking life for granted. On the quest for happiness, appreciating what we have is a great way to shift from feeling sad, bad or frustrated.
In the Make a List series, I have written about the importance of knowing myself and presenting my identity to the rest of the world. I have written about the importance of friends in our life and how they have contributed to who we are today. I have written about why it is important to have long-term goals and desires and to plant self-fulfilling prophecies in our mind.
Today, I want to tell you why appreciation and gratitude are important skills that we need to practice-every day (yes, every day)!
This series about list making revolves around the idea of using lists to examine our life and our perception and to highlight the good things in life. This lets us can enjoy them, appreciate them and be happy.
In this post, I want to explain the importance of remembering. I did write “good childhood memories” in the original list of lists, but I think that the mere act of remembering, even if we recall some bad memories, helps in our personal growth.
It is funny that when I mention memories, people go to the past and start digging. Some people find it hard to remember childhood experiences. For some, the past is more vivid, while for others, it is vague and unclear. Some remember what happened and others only remember what they felt about what happened.
Resentment is a destructive feeling. We get it from being forced to do things we don’t want to do. It comes from feeling powerless. But we can clear away resentment.
We’re all born with the disease to please. We learn thorough our parents’ behavior, and a set of “rewards” and “punishments”. This pressure to do what’s expected of us to avoid negative consequences develops a dependency on the approval of others. Later, when we go to school, we take this need to please others to the next level and eventually dedicate our lives to it.
The problem with pleasing others is that every second we spend trying to please someone else, we step further away from ourselves. We can’t find out who we are and express ourselves authentically. Many people find it very difficult to hear that it damages our self-image.
There are many ways to say “I love you” to someone – partner, children, family members and friends. But as you may know, not all of them are as effective. That’s simply because people are different. So here’s how to come up with 100 ways to say “I love you” and choose the best one for each person.
As you probably know, love is one of the most wonderful feelings. Some people claim there are only two feelings: love and fear. Every good thing in life is a form of love and all the bad things are forms of fear. A stronger version of this only recognizes one feeling: love. All the rest (fear, anger, sadness, etc) is lack of love.
Voltaire said, “Love is a canvas pattern furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination”. Whether you define love as the ultimate feeling or just an important one, there is no doubt that being loved and loving can make us the happiest ever.
One of my clients, who was very critical about herself, was very surprised when I asked her “What do you like about yourself?” She thought about it for a long time before she found something nice to say about herself and you know what, it is hard to blame her.
Birthdays should be wonderful events in everyone’s life. For some reason, however, grownups do not think of birthdays the same as kids. While kids see it as a happy moment with lots of gifts, grownups think of the birthday party as a checkpoint for their life and expenses, expenses, expenses.
Obviously, when you are happily wealthy, this is not a problem at all. I remember the stage in our life when we could spend money on everything we wanted and the dilemma was whether to travel to China for my daughter’s birthday for 3 or 4 weeks.
This may be fun, but most people do not have this luxury.