Relationships and the way we connect with others are very important and essential to our happiness and success in life. Research shows that people who are in a good relationship are healthier, happier and they live longer. So, a good relationship is the best prescription for a long life. I would take two prescriptions of that kind of medication.

We learn about relationships from the people closest to us – usually, our parents, later on our siblings and much later, from friends. If they model good relationships, we copy them. If the model bad relationships, we model that as well. Why? Because as kids we don’t have any way of filtering bad examples. It is only as we grow that we start developing critical thinking, and we start noticing that relationships at our house are different to other houses. Often times, that can make us frustrated because we don’t have the skills to make things change.

I once worked with a woman who was 37 years old. She had so many partners and no stable relationships. We checked her beliefs and found the source of the problem. We discovered that the origin of it was from her dad leaving her mom and her siblings when she was about 10 years old. He left to be with another women and she adopted a belief that “all man are assholes” (I am quoting). As a result, she did not trust men. With a belief like that, it is hard and even impossible to find a relationship, not to mention keep it.

Over the years, I have written a lot about relationships in my blog. I believe that every relationship that can be saved is like saving a small civilization. It sets us down the right path for a better future for one more generation. Saving relationships is important particularly if you have kids, as they are negatively impacted by any relationship breakdown.

The good news is that when we live away from our main influencers (mainly our parents), we have the freedom to choose to do things differently. I have been with Gal for more than 34 years and there are many things we consciously decided to do differently from our parents. There are also some things we chose to adopted and do the same. Each of us has the obligation to do that stocktake of what challenge our parents had in their relationships and to pick aspects we like and avoid those we don’t.

Here is a list of affirmations about relationships that will help you develop good relationships. Any belief you manage to change will snowball and change many other related beliefs. Pick some beliefs, write them up in any way you like and read them twice a day for 21 days. Contemplate on them until your mind adopts them as convictions.

Loving affirmations for a good relationship

The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married
– John Fischer

1. I am worthy and capable of love and I don’t have to do or say anything to deserve that love.
2. I learn from any relationship I have. I believe that people come into my life for a reason and I make sure to learn the lesson they came to teach me.
3. My relationships are a reflection in the universe’s mirror of my love for myself. I am grateful for all my reflections.
4. My partner is my soul mate. We are not one person but we complete each other with respect and appreciation.
5. I enjoy my time with my partner and do not try to change him/her to be anything he/she is not.
6. I can grow from every relationship.
7. The more I give in my relationship, the more I get.
8. A good relationship is not about loving the same things or doing the same things. I can love my partner and still have different preferences, hobbies and friends.
9. I love the “us” and never forget the “I” in it. I do not let “me” disappear in the “us”.
10. I am very committed to my relationship. I give myself fully to the relationship and never do anything half heartedly.
11. I celebrate our success as a couple and do not take it for granted.
12. I take time and invest in our relationship and remember that work is important but never more important than a good relationship.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and
another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a lot of overlap
– Mignon McLaughlin

13. If we face difficulties, we do not give up and go. We stay and remind ourselves that we were happy once and we can be again.
14. We allow ourselves and others to make mistakes and we have lots of forgiveness towards ourselves and others. Guilt and shame are not supportive in any relationship.
15. It takes a long time to build trust and only seconds to destroy it. I am trustworthy and honest in my relationship.
16. I express my love to my partner every day.
17. I am my partners’ greatest fan.
18. I am my partner’s best friend.

This is just a short list but you can add details to tailor it to your situation. For example: To your belief that “I express my love to my partner every day”,  you can add details like, what does love mean? What does love mean for my partners? How do I express it? What expression does my partner like more? How often would my partner like me to express it? In what circumstances? How can I express it even more?

Try it out and tell us about your experience in the comments below.

Happy relationship!
Ronit