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Home » focus » Page 7

Life According to the Native American Code of Ethics

Native American Elder

Through my work in diversity education over the past 7 years, I have taken part in many debates and conversations about religion, ethics, morals, values, and our role as parents and educators in instilling them in our children. Many people see conflicts between the different ethnic groups, religious groups, tribes and cultures. Personally, the more closely I look at it, the more I understand that these different groups have more commonalities than differences.

In life, you get what you focus on. If you focus on differences, you will see the conflict between cultures. If you focus on commonalities, you will see similarities and how we are all connected.

Recently, I had a chance to read the Native American Code of Ethics. This code has survived for thousands of years. This is probably one of the oldest cultural codes that still exist today. There is evidence that the indigenous American people migrated from Siberia over 11,000 years ago. Yes, 11,000 years ago! Can you imagine how long that is?!

To put it in perspective, Judaism is about 5,000 years old, Buddhism is about 2,500 years old, Christianity is about 2,000 years old, and Islam is about 1,500 years old. Meanwhile, the Native American tradition goes back 11,000 years. Fortunately, if you go deep into each of these belief systems, you will find very similar codes of ethics.

My work in personal development is in the service of all these codes of ethics. I believe that regardless of which one we follow, if each and every one of us strives to live by them, to the best of our ability, we will have a better world. Striving is the most important part. Eventually, if you keep going in the right direction, you will get there.

Read Life According to the Native American Code of Ethics »

Published: August 6, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: September 25, 2017In: Personal Development, Education / Learning Tags: values, kids / children, negative, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, action, education / learning, beliefs, religion, rules, list, optimism, emotional development, community, teaching / teachers, conflict, spiritual, cultural, focus, diversity

Everyday Resolution: How to Rub Your Genie the Right Way

The Genie of the Lamp can grant your everyday resolutions

As a life coach , I believe in new-year resolutions and having targets for the new year. People often create resolutions on their birthday or on New Year’s Eve. The difference between that and being a life coach is that I believe every day is an opportunity to set new year’s resolutions. Every day is a new opportunity to want more, to ask more, to be more, to have more, to love more and enjoy life more, to tune ourselves for more happiness and joy. Happiness is never ending. Every day, when we get up in the morning, we can start fresh. Every day can be the start of a new year. That’s why it’s better to create “everyday resolutions”.

Many of my clients ask me how come some people’s New Year resolutions seem to fall flat, while others seem to be very successful at making their resolutions come true. This question always makes me think of the genie who grants wishes. Some people know how to rub the lamp the right way and other don’t.

Golden lamp with vapour escaping from the spoutI didn’t always know how to rub the lamp right. I remember myself on my birthday, every year, making lists of what I wanted the next year to be like. For many years, nothing happened. At the age of 16, I learned that I had been rubbing the lamp the wrong way and that my genie wanted to be rubbed differently. From that point on, I suddenly felt kind of lucky. Things seemed to flow. I felt happy, successful and protected, as if my genie would take care of me, as long as I took care of him, the right way.

Everyone has a genie that sits in their subconscious and waits for instructions. If you speak his language, he will lead you to where you want go. If not, he will steer you in the opposite direction to your dreams.

Read Everyday Resolution: How to Rub Your Genie the Right Way »

Published: July 30, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 26, 2019In: Personal Development, Life Coaching Tags: change, happiness, Life Coaching, tips, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, birthdays, focus, list, skills, goals / goal setting, success, how to, action

Top 7 Things Parents Struggle With

A family lying on top of each other

I recently did an interview for a radio station about parenting. They wanted to know what were the top things parents struggle with. I have seen hundreds of parents over the last 28 years. If I had to list every struggle, the list would never end – parenting is hard! So, I figured the best thing to do would be to group challenges by category.

Parents today struggle with seven main things. Not surprisingly, parents today struggle with roughly the same things their parents struggled with in the past. Today, they just give it a different name, maybe to feel a bit more modern or advanced. Same struggle, different shape.

Parents need to take on a management role as soon as they have kids. Unfortunately, not everyone is a good manager and parents often struggle with it. If they were lucky enough to learn if from their own parents, cool! If not, they may struggle with it as a parent. Unfortunately, people spend more than 16 years of their lives in educational institutions that are obsessed about teaching them to manage their homework but not any other part of their lives.

School does not teach us to manage our time, our emotions, our friends or relationships, our physical body, our money or a budget. So it is no surprise that people struggle with it in their teens and then they struggle with it as adults raising kids. They then can’t teach their children how to manage any off these things either, because no one can teach what they don’t know.

Here are the 7 main challenges parents experience.

Read Top 7 Things Parents Struggle With »

Published: July 21, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: April 20, 2020In: Parenting Tags: social skills, media, society, list, focus, time management, practical parenting / parents, school, needs, skills, positive, money, kids / children, success, tips, how to, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, role model, emotions, choice, education / learning, relationships / marriage, feeling

What to Say When You Hear that Teen Life Sucks

Homeless teen life sucks

Sometimes, when I talk to teens, they tell me that teen life sucks.

It is sad to hear them say that at a time in their lives that is supposed to be wonderful, interesting and exciting. The teenage years are when they form their identity and it is sad to hear that they came to the conclusion that teen life sucks.

It is sad because if they believe it sucks, they are more likely to feel that it sucks. If they think teen life sucks, their subconscious will create a self-fulfilling prophecy, and their life will actually “suck”. It is not the thought that makes it true, it is that subconsciously, the thought will lead to action that will make it true. Whatever you believe, this is your reality.

Read What to Say When You Hear that Teen Life Sucks »

Published: July 14, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: August 31, 2020In: Personal Development, Teens / Teenagers Tags: teaching / teachers, choice, kids / children, action, teens / teenagers, beliefs, parenting teens, control, tips, change, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, happiness, emotions, hope, education / learning, self-fulfilling prophecy, feeling, focus, positive, thought, success, attitude, list, how to, questions

How to Destroy Good Character Traits for Children: A to F

Little girls dressed as snow white
This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

In the last chapter, of the Helping Kids Build Character Series, I explained the nature of watering with weed killer. There are certain things we do as parents that prevent good character traits from developing.

If you want to encourage good character traits in your children, there are some important things you should do differently.

Here is a list of good character traits that will not develop in the presence of bad beliefs (“weed killers”). Read them. If there are phrases on the list that you recognize in yourself, try removing them from your day to day speech. See if you can replace them with more positive phrases.

Over the years, I have worked with many parents who succeeded in changing the seeds they were planting, from poisonous communication and planting helpful beliefs. Being a parent can be a burden and a blessing. If you were the one who watered your child’s character with weed killer (rather than nutritious water), only you have the power to change it.

Parents have an amazing power. I have seen many kids and coached many people about beliefs. Working with parents has always been the best solution because me telling a kid “your parents love you” is meaningless compared to a parent saying “I love you”.

Read How to Destroy Good Character Traits for Children: A to F »

Published: June 18, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: August 14, 2015In: Parenting, Kids / Children Tags: personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, negative, feeling, beliefs, list, mind, emotional development, communication, change, practical parenting / parents, focus, parent coaching, skills, sarcasm, compassion, how to, humor, fear, kids / children, choice, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, trust

How to Save Your Kids from The Consumerism Trap

The Consumerism Trap

The world we live in promotes consumerism all the time. Sometimes, I feel like I need to take my kids to live in a hut or a cave, far away from civilization if I want to prevent them from falling into the consumerism trap.

Just recently, the big shopping center closest to us was rebuilt. It is now more than double in size. I often have meetings there, in one of the cafes. I always look at all the people rushing past and wonder to myself, “Don’t they have anything better to do than just spend money here?”

Of course, my excuse for being there is that I came there for work!

The scariest thing is going to the supermarket with my kids. We buy most of our groceries from two different supermarkets. To get from one to the other, we need to cross the entire shopping centered, which is shocking.

Every window tells you why you must have that dress and that you are nothing without those shoes and that you are not cool if you don’t buy this and that you are fat if you don’t use that product.

Read How to Save Your Kids from The Consumerism Trap »

Published: June 4, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 6, 2021In: Parenting Tags: kids / children, practical parenting / parents, money, tips, teaching / teachers, role model, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, choice, freedom, books, feeling, computer, appearance, holidays, birthdays, tv, mobile phone, flexibility, advertising, focus, social, hobbies, gratitude, needs, list, responsibility

Developing Good Character Traits for Children: H to Z

Little girl dressed up as a butterfly
This entry is part 3 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

Good character traits are what every parent wants for their kids. We all know and believe that this can set them up for good, healthy, successful and happy lives. If we let go of the belief that character is something we are born with, something that is carved in stone, we realize that we, as parents, have the power to instill positive character in our kids.

We can give our kids those traits that they are going to need to run a happy and successful life, by instilling strong beliefs that support and build these good character traits.

In the last chapter, I gave examples of good character traits from A to G and what beliefs will support them. Here are the H- Z (well, H to W at least) traits and the beliefs that will support them.

Read Developing Good Character Traits for Children: H to Z »

Published: June 2, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 26, 2019In: Parenting, Kids / Children Tags: trust, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, beliefs, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, focus, happiness, education / learning, values, hope, list, skills, intelligence, emotional development, success, conflict, practical parenting / parents, emotional intelligence, social, positive, how to, attitude, choice, imagination, truth, kids / children

Healthy and Powerful Character Traits for Children (A to G)

Parent watering a child
This entry is part 2 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

This saying is as true for grownups as it is true for kids. We are what we think. If you want to know who your kids are, ask them what they think of themselves. Whether they think they are smart or not, happy or not, friendly or not, they are always right.

If you want to build their character, you need to instill character-building thoughts in their minds. Their thoughts become words, their words become thoughts, and their thoughts become actions. These actions become habits that become their character. Their character determines their destiny.

As I said in the previous chapter, a belief is like a seed, if you repeat the belief over and over again, it is like watering the seed. When the child hears the belief expressed enough times, the seed develops strong roots and becomes a conviction, like, “I am a very responsible kid”. The child stops thinking of it as a behavior and it becomes a character trait, a personal quality that they possess, “I am a very responsible kid”.

Here are examples of thoughts that will help build your kids’ character. If he/she adopts these thoughts/beliefs, they will turn into character of time. It is important to talk to kids about their character, what it means to them and what it means to you. Give them examples of times when they have shown a particular trait in a nice way and how it helped them in life. If you cannot find examples from their life, give examples from your own life, when you showed this trait and how it helped you in life. This will make it is easier for them to adopt the trait.

Read Healthy and Powerful Character Traits for Children (A to G) »

Published: May 21, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 24, 2019In: Kids / Children, Parenting Tags: skills, positive, success, humor, kids / children, how to, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, beliefs, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, motivation, creative / creativity, assertive, education / learning, conflict, thought, fun, emotional development, compassion, practical parenting / parents, focus, needs

Helping Kids Build Healthy and Powerful Character Traits

Paper sunflowers
This entry is part 1 of 8 in the series Helping Kids Build Character

Many parents talk to me about their kids’ character traits and behavior. “He is a stubborn kid. He was always stubborn” or “She is a nag. She nagged from the first day she came home”. I wonder how much of what these parents are describing is real character (permanent and unchangeable) and how much of it we can change.

All kids are born with their unique character, a personality. This becomes really obvious when you have your second child. You realize that some of how they behave is just something they are born with. You notice that they have a certain character from the very first day you spend with them.

Unfortunately, not all character traits are wonderful and great. How they develop later on in life depends mainly on how we view these traits and how we react to them. For example, many parents treat their kids’ behavior as a result of a character trait. Since character is solid and fixed, they thing this behavior cannot be changed.

Read Helping Kids Build Healthy and Powerful Character Traits »

Published: May 14, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: May 14, 2015In: Kids / Children, Parenting Tags: focus, positive, special education, attitude, kids / children, how to, parenting teens, action, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, beliefs, list, exercise, teaching / teachers, change, Life Coaching, affirmations, persistence

The Stress Pill: 30 More Stressors

A pile of pills
This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series The Stress Pill

In the previous chapter of The Stress Pill, I described some ways people make themselves stressed. I call them “stress pills”. Others call them Stressors.

Here are another 30 tips on how to increase your daily dosage of stress. Of course, if you can avoid them, your stress level will go down and your happiness will go up.

Read The Stress Pill: 30 More Stressors »

Published: April 28, 2015 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: April 28, 2015In: Personal Development Tags: positive, choice, tips, trust, stress / pressure, negative, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, failure, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, change, feeling, drugs, happiness, expectation, focus, relationships / marriage, procrastination, love, dreams, list, skills, anger, success, persistence, how to

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