Sleep is Important

Butterfly over calm water: Good night. Sleep well

Sleep is one of the key ingredients for success. I have the perfect example to illustrate the point.

My son Tsoof is 18 years old. As his mother, I am slightly biased, but he is very smart and talented. He is in his third year of university and is excelling in everything. He is taking extra subjects, plays in three bands, he teaches two music classes and is simultaneously composing music and working on producing a show..

This week, I read an article that explained one of the reasons why Tsoof is so successful. He sleeps a lot.

Sounds funny, right? Keep reading to see what I mean.

The article I read talked about the damage of not getting enough sleep. Tsoof, from a very young age, was a good sleeper. When other kids in day care did not need to take an afternoon nap, he still slept in the afternoon. Later on, when he was in primary school and even in high school, no matter what movie was on or what he had to do for school, he slept an average of 10 hours a night. Our two daughters consider sleep to be a waste of time, but Tsoof never needed to be “encourage” to go to bed. Today, he is busier than ever before and he still averages over 9 hours a night.

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Teaching & Education Beliefs: Attitudes & Responsibilities

Here are the last 20 of my top 100 beliefs about teaching and education. Today’s beliefs are about teacher’s attitudes and responsibilities. To read all of them, check out the Teaching & Education Beliefs.

1. In order to raise a new generation of thinkers, teaching should encourage kids to question, even it is means they question you. During my lessons, I teach the kids to question me and the world around them; we should not keep doing things just because we always have. If we do that, we never grow and evolve. Our job as teacher is not to think for them, but to teach children to think for themselves.

2. If you focus on a child’s problems, all you will see is problems. If you focus on their strengths, you will see their gifts. Teachers consider kids problematic or gifted depending on what they focus on.

“Teaching is not about what we give our students but about what they choose to take. We spend too much time giving our students information and too little teaching them how to absorb it” – Ronit Baras

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Facebook: The Parenting Enemy

This week, in my art class, we talked about Facebook. I have to say I am a bit nervous when we talk about Facebook. Some clients of mine experienced a big trauma when a member of their family posted something on Facebook. The post was the sort of thing that was so terrible, each and every one of them wanted the earth to open up and swallow them. They are still sorting out the issues and nothing they do will be able to remove the post.

Another couple I coached separated because of Facebook. There was nothing they could do to forgive each other for writing those things. You see, when someone says something nasty, it is painful, for sure. But when it is written online and the whole world can see it, the pain aches for a long time afterwards. In both of these cases, we are talking about grownups.

Can you imagine what happens if kids do it?

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Happiness is in the Right Brain

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. The rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift”
– Albert Einstein

Happiness depends a lot on which side of the brain we use. If you feel under pressure, your brain is telling you that you have been using your left brain to its maximum capacity.

85% of the time, we function using our left brain. We make sense of things, think of sequences, analyze language and meaning, interpret information and communication and absorb new facts from all around us. Although these functions are necessary to our life, the left side of our brain has its limits and uses pressure to signal that we need to let go and switch to using our right brain.

The left hemisphere of our brain functions like a sequential receiver and processor, while the right hemisphere is in charge of our imagination, sleep (dreams), memory, intuition and all of our creative functions. We absorb with the left side and create with our right side. The brain is like battery – the right side charges it and the left side uses the energy and empties it. Our goal is always keep our mental battery charged.

In our fast-moving world with way too much information, our brain reaches this point of pressure very often. This is when the brain pushes the “red alert” button and says “Enough! No more information. No more analyzing. No more thinking and no more talking!” If we ignore this signal, the sounds of the red alert and danger increase until we collapse or fall asleep from exhaustion.

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Test of Desire

My kids want things just like other kids – they look around and want what they see. I think it only means they are normal. As a parent, you know what happens when your kids come home and say, “Mom/Dad, can you buy me …?”

It is not easy being a parent and making the decision of what to buy your kids, because kids are just young and they do not understand money and priorities, how full their wardrobe will be if we get them any shirt or pants they want or how full the house will be if we get them all the latest gadgets or toys. Kids make the decision to want or not to want things based on an urge. Sometimes the urge is internal and sometimes it is external.

Adults do exactly the same – we buy things just because we feel like it – but adults also consider the value of the object and that is not only the price but the ratio between how much we spend and how much we get out of our purchase. As a parent, I would like to teach my kids about that ratio too.

So let me tell you a story about the boy in the photo.

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School Production

If your kids are involved in any kind of performing art – singing, dancing, acting or playing music – I am sure you will relate to this. For some reason, school productions and school concerts, including those organized by dance schools, theater groups and music schools, seem to be ignoring their main clients – us, the parents.

Hand on your heart, when you come to a concert or a play, do you care how good the teacher is? Do you care how good the production is? Or do you keep looking for the little person on stage that belongs to you?

And when you see your little person performing their best, do you care if their inflection is right? Do you care if their balance is perfect? Do you even care if they make a mistake? Or is it so cute and adorable, you could not care less, as long as your son or daughter is at the front, where you can see them?

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Inspiring Kids

My daughter Noff (the youngest girl in the photo) is a very inspiring kid, especially since growing up in a house with two very talented siblings is not easy.

This is the story of how Noff composed her first piece of music at the age of 8, with very little knowledge and a lot of ingenuity, and how she continually uses her older brother and sister not as competition but as inspiration to stretch herself and do the best she can in every area.

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TV Diet (16): Healthy Alternatives

Many people, kids and adults alike, use television as an entertainer and a way to keep themselves busy. Therefore, one of the best ways to overcome too much TV is to make other activities more attractive than watching TV.

Examine your watching habits and you will notice that when you are motivated, doing fun things and working towards a goal, you watch less TV than usual. People generally watch less TV when they renovate, when they start a new and exciting job or when they go on a family trip.

I have found that my kids turn on the TV when I am busy or not around. When I am around and I pay attention to them, I talk to them about school, encourage them to do their homework or practice their music, or come up with a family project. When they are with me, they do not turn the TV on.

Start with the weakest point in your weekly routine and give your kids healthy alternatives to watching too much TV. Here is a list of things you can do to help your kids keep busy and not just busy, but actually doing something meaningful and entertaining, fun and rewarding, instead of numbing their brains in front of the TV.

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Auditory Musicians

Last Friday, our entire family went to listen to a Jazz concert, which was part of a series of concerts organized by a university’s performing arts department. One of the members of the band was my son’s percussion tutor at the recent MOST residential camp, as well as the composer of the most exciting music pieces my son plays in his school’s percussion ensemble. We decided to go and finally see this guy our son admires so much.

The performance lasted about an hour and while we were listening and watching them sit on stage with a beautiful grand piano, double bass and a drum kit, Gal said to me, “Just look at them and you’ll be able to tell their communication style”.

It was very funny, because all three of them played for about an hour 6 or 7 Jazz pieces they had composed themselves and they played the whole time with their heads tilted to one side.

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A Note to Remember

Ronit and I think often about communication styles as a useful model for improving human relationships and developing kids. As a family, we are lucky to have all the communication styles (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital) represented in different combinations in the members of our family.

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