kinesthetic Tag

Posts tagged 'kinesthetic'

Children with the Kinesthetic Communication Style

Kinesthetic kids love mess. Two boys cutting out Halloween pumpkins

The idea that all kids are the same is false and brings parents and teachers into lots of trouble. Every time these kids are not “the same” as others, they think something is wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with them! They are just different and we should all be happy that there is not such a thing as “one size fits all”.

In my kids’ assessments, I check children’s communication styles. If I know their communication styles, I know what challenges they have and why, and I know the best ways to introduce new information to them.

During our sessions together, I pay attention to how they move. I check if they stand up while they work and if they move their legs or other body part. I notice if they are social and friendly and pay attention to how they talk about others. Moving a lot and talking about emotions, fairness, kindness and caring are typical for kinesthetic children.

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Raising Children with “The Disease to Please”

Children are affected strongly by their emotional state. When I work with children, I can see their performance decrease when they are emotionally preoccupied. Some kids are affected more and others less, but all of them drop in performance when they are down.

Kinesthetic children are typically affected more, because they are very sensitive to the people around them. These are the kids who can “sense” others around them and all they want is for “everyone to be happy and nice to each other”.

Children who are highly sensitive to pressure are at risk of developing “the disease to please” – dependence on external rewards and oversensitivity to pressure. It is the perception that other people’s feelings are so important that they trump your own.

In most cases, “the disease to please” comes from fear of rejection, which most people want to avoid. Many people have this disease and they got it during their childhood. We can say that this kind of disease is contagious and we catch it from our parents…

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Common Myths about Kids’ Learning and Success

Sometimes, kids’ worst obstacles are their own parents’ misconceptions about kids’ learning and success. As a teacher, I have seen many kids struggle on a daily basis to meet the extremely high and unrealistic expectations their parents set for them. These high expectations for children usually go hand in hand with expectations parents set for themselves.

Such extreme standards bring pressure, tension, pain, depression and a great feeling of inadequacy, both for the parents, and the child. Unfortunately, children carry this feeling with them into adulthood, and raise their own kids using the same misconceptions.

Here are some common myths I have heard over the years, about what will bring success and facilitate kids’ learning.

Myth #1: Kids’ learning is improved by pain and punishment

It is true that humans over time have learned through cause and effect. They improve and evolve by seeing the consequences of their actions.

However, using punishment as a teaching tool does not make children learn what you think (not even if you call it “consequences”). They learn to be afraid and to avoid the punishment. The lesson you were trying to teach them is completely lost. This is because the need to avoid pain is stronger than almost anything and they will do whatever they can to avoid it.

The more painful the punishment, the less they will learn of what you are actually trying to teach them.

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Majority Rules

This post was inspired by Ronit’s diversity education, by our family’s life in several countries around the world, by Eden’s recent foray into academic research, by our many dealings with people of different communication styles, bust mostly by my occasional frustration of being a minority…

Having grown up in one place for 28 years and then moved to another country, Ronit and I had to change many basic assumptions about what everyone knows, how everyone thinks and what everyone expects. It is called Culture Shock. We already knew quite a bit about the United States (I had even been an exchange student there), so the change did not shock us, but boy was it different.

Now imagine going from that to Thailand! Hardly any English, driving on the left, completely different social norms and ethics, hot, humid, rainy, full of mosquitoes… What everyone did in Thailand was very different to what everyone did in Texas.

The thing is, in each one of these places, people who had grown up there and had never been anywhere else could not perceive anything other than what they had been accustomed to. To them, “everyone” was everyone they knew and that was good enough.

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The Fun Incentive

Last weekend, I had a chance to talk to a mother about my better parenting skills program. She told me about her son’s behavior problems and wanted to know what was so magical about my program that made kids perform so well. I said to her, “There is no magic in the program. It is just based on understanding of the human brain, as every one of my parent coaching clients and better parenting skills workshop participants discovers”.

Although I like the thought that I work magic in my programs, I truly believe this magic can be done by everyone who understands the importance of having fun in the learning process and focusing their energy in a positive direction.

The woman told me her son was “hyperactive”.

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Repeating a School Year

Last week, I received the email below from one of the readers of Family Matters about whether or not her son should repeat a year at school. I am choosing to post my reply here, because I have been asked this question many times.

Hi Ronit,

My son is 7, born 3rd of May and is in year 2. I can now see a huge maturity difference to his peers who are 1 year older in most cases. Academically he is sound but struggles to remain there, and keeping him focused is a constant battle.

My gut is telling me he needs to repeat, more so for confidence and to help him settle better with kids his own age. School is resisting this as academically he is not well below.

Do you think I should keep pushing this?

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Auditory Musicians

Last Friday, our entire family went to listen to a Jazz concert, which was part of a series of concerts organized by a university’s performing arts department. One of the members of the band was my son’s percussion tutor at the recent MOST residential camp, as well as the composer of the most exciting music pieces my son plays in his school’s percussion ensemble. We decided to go and finally see this guy our son admires so much.

The performance lasted about an hour and while we were listening and watching them sit on stage with a beautiful grand piano, double bass and a drum kit, Gal said to me, “Just look at them and you’ll be able to tell their communication style”.

It was very funny, because all three of them played for about an hour 6 or 7 Jazz pieces they had composed themselves and they played the whole time with their heads tilted to one side.

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The Book Whisperer

Eden got this nickname when she was 7 years old and her teacher complained she was reading out loud while all the other kids switched to silent reading. The teacher was concerned that reading out loud would interfere with her reading development.

To handle the need to verbalize what she was reading (a kinesthetic need), Eden started to whisper. It started with fast and unclear quiet whispers, like shorthand. she read for hours every day, so from age 7 to 20, you could hear indistinct whispers in our house at the table, in the toilet, behind the sofa, on the floor or on her bed.

All my 3 little book worms go to the public library every week and borrow 20 books for each membership card (and we have 5 cards).

For the love of reading

Kids who love reading are every parent’s dream. Developing imagination, getting exposed to richness of information and inspiring emotions through the written word are only some of the advantages of reading.

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ADHD Must Be Contagious

Active little boy laughing - that's not ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is very trendy. If you search on Google, you will see that there are 34,800,000 hits for it (this is today, but I am sure tomorrow it there will be more, if only because I am adding this post…). It is amazing that as the years goes by, the percentage of kids and people with ADHD goes up.

Do you have an explanation to this?

In this post, let me try to give you some explanation to this inflation in the diagnosis of ADHD.

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How to Stimulate Kinaesthetic Kids

Kinaesthetic kids needs to move in order to think. They are also very sensitive to others and have lots of “gut” feelings. Kinaesthetic children learn by doing.

Too often, these kids are treated as trouble makers, being blamed for not being able to sit still. However, but forcing them to sit and be quiet, we effectively shut down their brain and ensure that they learn nothing. More than that, we teach them that learning is not fun.

This post is part 2 of 4 in the series How to Stimulate Kids

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