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Depression: Not Good for Parenting

Black dog of depression holding a man back

In over 1,100 posts on this blog, I have covered a lot of topics that lead to happiness. Today, I want to talk a little bit about the flipside of happiness – depression, because depression is a big issue for many families these days.

There are many depressed couples, depressed parents and more and more depressed kids. The most concerning of these are parents who suffer from depression, because they often raise kids that cannot handle life very well.

Some say depression runs in families. That is not surprising because I think if you take a perfectly normal and healthy child and raise them in a house where one or both parents are depressed, they will definitely grow up to be troubled.

Depression is something people do not like talking about. I know many families in which the depressed parent is dragging the whole family down but no one says anything. It is very much like having a parent who is alcoholic or terminally ill. Everyone walks around on eggshells but tries not to say anything. Not always because they are afraid, but often because they have given up trying to speak up.

Read Depression: Not Good for Parenting »

Published: May 27, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Health / Wellbeing, Parenting Tags: video, mind, kids / children, happiness, stress / pressure, social skills, health / wellbeing, hope, feeling, anger, thought, aggressive, evaluation, focus, family matters, list, depression, sleep, practical parenting / parents, negative, assessment, action, social

Proud Kids and Proud Mothers on Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day card

Mother’s Day was a few days ago and it always makes me think about my role as a parent. Over the years, I have written a lot about being a mother to my 3 wonderful children. As a life coach, specializing in families, parenting has been my calling. I believe we bring our kids into this world so we can learn love. When our first child is born, we discover just how much love we are capable of.

The greatest struggle of being a parent is the unrealistic desire to be superman and wonder woman so our kids can be proud of us. In this quest we are often too hard on ourselves. We focus too much on what we do not do well rather than what we do that is inspiring to our kids.

A while ago, I received this video from my daughter that shows how hard we are on ourselves as parents. I think it is very touching and inspiring.

Read Proud Kids and Proud Mothers on Mother’s Day »

Published: May 13, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 16, 2021In: Parenting Tags: video, kids / children, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, list, practical parenting / parents, focus, love, mother, mom, Life Coaching

Preparing for Mother’s Day

Every year, when Mother’s Day approaches, I think of my role as a mother. It may not be easy to be a mom but it is highly rewarding. Many moms come to see me in my coaching practice. A lot of them experience many parenting struggles. Not all of them were ready to be a parent. This makes me wonder, how do we expect people to do something we do not prepare them for?!

The only preparation we get for being a parent is from our parents. This comes long before we even think of having children, and we need to keep these memories for over 20 to 25 years in order to use them with our own children. I think the saying “we are only as good as the quality of our teachers” is suitable here. Much like in school, you know your subjects well if your teacher was awesome. In the school of life, you know how to parent if your parents were awesome. Unfortunately, we cannot choose our teachers, not in school or in life.

Read Preparing for Mother’s Day »

Published: May 6, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Parenting Tags: school, education / learning, role model, partner, negative, emotional development, mother, practical parenting / parents, mom, change, video, positive, kids / children, tips, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement

The Beauty Inside

The Beauty Inside video

It is a fact that we cannot see ourselves the same way others can see us. Firstly because we usually see ourselves in the mirror which is not the same position others see us in. Secondly, because we see ourselves from the inside and the inside is cluttered by thoughts and feelings we have towards ourselves.

The beauty inside is developed by what others, who are very close or important to us, say about us. I have met many grownups who carry negative beliefs from childhood. For example, people who are critical of a facial feature like a long nose or big eyes that mom or dad mocked at the age of 6. They simply cannot shake this feeling in adulthood.

I myself grew up in a culture that thought straight hair was an advantage and curly hair was not. As kids, we spent year looking for ways to straighten our hair. It was only when I grew up and met others who spent a fortune on curling their hair that I learned to appreciate what I have. This is a natural process.

Read The Beauty Inside »

Published: May 1, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 29, 2022In: Personal Development Tags: video, positive, attitude, kids / children, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, women, feeling, body image, thought, early childhood, appearance, beliefs, practical parenting / parents, perception

Precious Jellybeans

There are some things I wish I knew when I was younger. For example, that life is short and we had better make the best of it. Luckily for me, I realized this when I was 16. It was painful and scary at first but eventually very liberating. Life is what we have. There are no rehearsals, no practice tests, no rewinds or regrets. We can work with it but not against. And time is our most precious gift. It is the only real currency that exists. Some people make a good use of it and others spend it or waste it.

Since that time of realization, I have been searching for ways to get this message across others: life is short, live it!

Recently, my daughter Eden sent me this clip that demonstrate time as our most precious asset using jellybeans as a metaphor. It was beautiful and the message is clear and simple. Here it is. I hope you like it too.

Read Precious Jellybeans »

Published: April 29, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Personal Development Tags: time management, video, attitude, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, values, inspiration, action, motivation, hope

Anorexia: Fix the Broken Body Image Created by the Media

Media is one of the major contributors to the damaged body images we have in our society. Once, it was only girls, but now we have more and more boys suffering from low body image.

Movies and magazines show celebrities who look tall and slim, with smooth skin at every pose. It is no wonder people spend money on products to try to “fix” themselves. What they do not know is that the photos they see are heavily photo-shopped and that the person they see in the magazine never looked like that.

It seems fitting that we should use the media to fix the damage done by the media. That way, our daughters and sons can see it. Yes, the photo-shopped images are beautiful, but they are not normal.

This post is part 8 of 8 in the series Anorexia

Read Anorexia: Fix the Broken Body Image Created by the Media »

Published: March 25, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Kids / Children, Health / Wellbeing, Parenting, Teens / Teenagers Tags: diet, health / wellbeing, body image, responsibility, movies, media, practical parenting / parents, eating disorders, anorexia, society, video, kids / children, self confidence / self esteem / self worth

Autistic Kids Recover

The first time I heard about Autism was 29 years ago, when I was studying special education. It opened up a whole new world for me. The institute where I studied had amazing teachers who specialized in autism. The institute had a center for Autism but unfortunately, students were not allowed to do work experience there. Throughout my bachelor degree I did work experience anywhere between once to 3 times a week. But never in the autism center.

In my third year of studies, I had to choose a work experience placement again. Many organizations gave presentations in an attempt to convince us to join them for the year. Once again, work in the Autism Center was not on offer. I was disappointed because I felt a pull to work with autistic children, or at least to learn more about them. In a very bold move, I specified the Autism Center as my first, second and third preferences for placement.

This post is part 2 of 4 in the series Autism

Read Autistic Kids Recover »

Published: January 23, 2014 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: October 2, 2022In: Parenting Tags: special education, inspiration, action, video, kids / children, practical parenting / parents, home / house, diet

The “Why” of Sibling Rivalry

If you have siblings, you are probably going to get into conflict with them at some stage in your life. I can probably go as far as saying that if you have parents, you are probably going to end up arguing with them at some point too. Why? Because parents and siblings are pains in the backside, regardless of how much you love them.

One of my clients gave birth to her second son about 3 years after the first one was born. She says there is a constant struggle to enjoy them both at the same time. Let me explain. The eldest is magnificent, beautiful, and smart, a perfect kid. But he is so jealous of his new brother that he has become aggressive, angry, short-tempered and not fun to be around. When he spends the time with mom or dad on his own, he is completely fine, but when baby brother is around, he gets angry and upset. Mom has to make sure he does not hurt his little brother.

Read The “Why” of Sibling Rivalry »

Published: July 9, 2013 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Kids / Children Tags: beliefs, research, conflict, family matters, video, kids / children, expectation, practical parenting / parents, sibling rivalry, siblings

Body Image

Body image: woman looking at a portrait of her body

The image of the ideal woman’s body has changed over the years. The change becomes obvious when you compare pictures today to pictures taken around the 17th century. The woman in the photo on the right was considered a symbol of the ultimate beauty back then.

Today, she would be considered obese. She would not dare pose for any person trying to sketch her and most definitely not naked.

You might be thinking that the 17th century was a long time ago and this photo is quite old. To this I would say that there is a woman who has been considered beautiful much more recently, and by today’s standards, she too would be considered fat: Marilyn Monroe.

Read Body Image »

Published: July 2, 2013 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Beautiful people Tags: overweight, society, perception, video, obesity, women, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, body image, appearance, anxiety, media, beliefs, advertising, identity, change

Parenting By Example

Even though this video was about how cute animals are, I could not help thinking how wonderful the big dog was at encouraging the little puppy to try something it thought was too hard. It did not bark, it did not push, it did not show disappointment. It simply let by example. It did not give up when it did not work the first time, or even the first three ties. It kept doing it again and again, until the puppy was confident enough to try it for himself.

Parenting is the same. When we want our kids to do things that they are afraid to do, we need to show them how we do it. Again and again. Without shouting, telling them they are small and unable, calling them names or showing disappointment. We do not even need to push them to do the things they cannot do, do not want to do, or are afraid to do. We need to lead by example. Again and again. Until our kids are confident enough to do it themselves.

Read Parenting By Example »

Published: May 2, 2013 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: November 9, 2021In: Parenting Tags: happiness, expectation, persistence, practical parenting / parents, early childhood, video, teaching / teachers, skills, positive attitude tips, success, positive, emotional intelligence, kids / children, how to, tips, role model, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, fear, behavior / discipline, action, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, empowerment, education / learning

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