It is a fact that we cannot see ourselves the same way others can see us. Firstly, because we usually see ourselves in the mirror, which is not the same position others see us in. Secondly, because we see ourselves from the inside and our internal perception is affected by thoughts and feelings we have towards ourselves, which nobody else shares.
The beauty inside is developed by what others, who are very close or important to us, say about us. I have met many grownups who carry negative beliefs from childhood. For example, people who are critical of a facial feature like a long nose or big eyes that mom or dad mocked at the age of 6. They simply cannot shake this feeling in adulthood.
I grew up in a culture that thought straight hair had an advantage and curly hair did not. As kids, we spent years looking for ways to straighten our hair. Only when I grew up and met others who spent a fortune on curling their hair, I learned to appreciate what I had. This is a natural process.
As parents, we have to be very careful about what we say to our kids, because they will carry it with them to adulthood. It is better to make sure they carry good beliefs about their beauty, or should I say, inner beauty.
Here is a beautiful video on an experiment done by Dove that asks a group of women to describe themselves to a professional sketch artist. Another woman who met them for only a short time then describes them to the same sketch artist. He shows the women the two versions of themselves. Here is what they see at the end.
Make sure you tell your kids good things about themselves so they can be as beautiful inside as they are outside.
Happy parenting,
Ronit
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