How to Model Empathy to Your Kids

Mother showing empathy to her daughter with a hug

Empathy is a very important emotional skill. As parents and teachers, it’s our role to teach our children empathy. Although some people have a natural tendency to be more understanding and empathetic toward others, our role is to promote empathy in all children.

Regardless of their natural starting point, children can all improve their ability to put themselves in another person’s shoes. This will help them build better relationships.

A person’s level of empathy can tell us a lot about a person’s emotional intelligence. If they are more empathetic, they’re usually more confident. If you can be empathetic, it usually means you feel good enough about yourself to be able to share it with others.

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How to Be a Great Teacher (A to K)

As teachers, our teaching ability is an art form that we keep developing throughout our careers. One of the best parts of any professional development courses I run for teachers, is the discussion about our philosophy and tips we can share with others about teaching. Establishing a good teaching philosophy and adopting useful tips from experienced teachers are essential tools for effective teaching.

Here is a guide that has informed my teaching over the years. I hope the teachers reading this blog will find it useful.

Affirmations are very important in education. Things you repeat over and over again become the thoughts and beliefs of your students. Make sure to plant good affirmations in their minds, ones that they will be able to use long after you are not there. “I can do it!” for example, is a great affirmation that will benefit them more in life than an A in math. Watch what you are repeating.

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How to Overcome Shyness: Tips

Being shy can be pretty debilitating. And surprisingly, most people have experienced it at least once in their lives. In this part of “How to Overcome Shyness”, I want to share some tips with you on overcoming shyness.

We know from part one that there are three types of shyness: situational shyness (in specific situations), transitional shyness (during transitions or the process of change), and permanent shyness (in most social situations).

In the last post, I covered the four main causes of shyness: need for control, lack of trust, fear of being judged and being critical.

Now that we know the what and why behind shyness, I want to share some tips with you on how to overcome it. If you have kids, escort them in this exercise and help them practice the tips. You may have to be their facilitator.

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How to Overcome Shyness: Causes of Shyness

In the previous shyness post, I explained about the three types of shyness: situational shyness (in specific situations), transitional shyness (during transitions or change) and permanent shyness (pretty much in all social situations).

To be able to overcome our shyness, we need to understand the reasons behind it. Here are the four main reasons why shyness occurs:

The first is a need for control. Shyness can start when people feel like they are outside their comfort zone. People who experience this kind of shyness usually know what is socially acceptable in certain situations, they ask questions to be sure, and they are good at thinking on their feet. These people prefer to talk about their strengths and things within their comfort zone, they are well prepared and like consistency. When things are unclear, unpredictable, or when someone pressures them, they worry and become anxious because they lose their sense of control.

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How to Overcome Shyness: Types of Shyness

Most people, young and old, have experienced being shy in social situations. Most people also seem to think they are shier than everyone else. Surprisingly, they are wrong. 98% of people think of themselves as shy. As children, some people lack the skills and lived experiences of coping in social environments, which makes them feel crippled and develop a sense of helplessness because of it.

Shyness can be debilitating. The good news is that it can be changed.

Shyness is a form of anxiety. The severity of the anxiety depends on the type of shyness.

Situational Shyness

Situational Shyness means experiencing anxiety in certain, specific situations. Examples include, during a test, in a big group, when standing on stage, while having to present or make a speech, when answering a question, having to think on your feet or trying to make a good impression. The main challenge in this shyness is the timing. It never feels like the ‘right’. You never feel ready to tackle the task before you.

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The Magic of Encouragement

Children will strive with encouraging. If kids were plants, their environment would be the soil while encouragement and support would be the water and sun they need in order to grow.

Children who receive positive encouragement grow up to have very strong emotional stamina. Their emotional intelligence helps them manage challenges, difficulties and failure. These skills form the basis of growing up to be successful people. Parents, teachers and caregivers are those who can give us these skills.

Here is a list of 20 positive feedback starters that encourages kids to keep doing something you would like to support and promote. You can change the ending to suit whatever it is you want to encourage.

“You’ve done a wonderful job at… picking up the toys”
“It was an excellent idea to… make a strong foundation for the Lego building”
“You must be very proud of yourself for… submitting the assignment on time”

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What Does Children’s Behavior Mean?

This week, a client of mine asked about her son’s behavior. Thomas, her 3-year-old son, does not know what to do when kids take things from him. Sharon, his mum, says he starts crying immediately. She is worried that this will be his behavior in the future. She wrote in her email to me, “If a child cries when kids take toys from him, does it mean he will grow up to use crying whenever things do not go his way?”

The simple answer is:

No. Just because kids do certain things do when they are young, does not mean they will do them as adults.

Kids are inexperienced in searching for ways to get what they want. They have had limited exposure to “life” so they use more primitive and intuitive ways of getting things. When they were born, all they knew how to do was cry. And they found it to be an effective way to get what they needed. We all used crying as a method when we were babies, but that does not mean we do it now that we are grown up, at least, not in the same way.

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Best Time Management Quotes

Mastering time management is an art. The good thing about it is that everyone, even those who are not very creativity, can master it.

I was not born an artist of time management. Life circumstances “forced” me to develop these skills. I have to admit though, that it brought me a lot of certainty and even success.

Since I am a fan of quotes, I have been collecting ones about time management. They have helped me over the years to develop an appreciation for time and to make a good use of it.

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The Wise Little Camel

Kids’ curiosity is amazing. Sometimes they ask questions that are so simple and so naive that we wonder how we did not ask our own parents these questions.

One of the questions all kids ask their parents is “Why do I go to school?”

You know what? Most parents do not have a good answer. Most of the time they say it is because that is what their parents did, or sometimes, just because “You have to”. Often, no questions are asked. Kids are smarter than that. They can have confidence in their schooling if their parents give a better answer to this question.

Many of the things we do today, we keep doing because we inherited this behavior from our parents and our circumstances. Often, we do not ask the question “why”. We do not try to match the things we do to the right time and circumstances.

As parents, many of us want things for our kids that have traditionally been a necessity, but are not really relevant today. We do not realize that today kids need different skills, attitudes, and knowledge. We need to match what we are teaching them with what they are going to need for life in the now.

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Teaching & Education Beliefs: Think Ahead

Teachers, just like everybody else, do better when they think ahead and get organized. Today’s 20 teaching and education beliefs are about this. If you are here for the first time, you may want to start reading “Teaching & Education Beliefs” from the start of the series.

1. When I need to cover a topic over 8 weeks, I aim to finish it early, maybe in 6 weeks. This gives me time to deal with unexpected circumstances that pop up. If everything goes to plan, we have 2 weeks to have fun. If not, we have two weeks to compensate for the delay.

2. If I want to help my student, I must take care of myself. Kids are born with senses to read the people around them. There is no point pretending when you are around them. They will be able to tell when something is wrong.

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