planning Tag

Posts tagged 'planning'

Self-Regulation in Your Marriage

Bride and groom holding their hands in heart shape

Marriage is a give-and-take relationship. It succeeds when two people balance their own desires with those of their partner. If you have been married for a while, you know that this balancing act is not easy. It’s not easy because it requires regulation of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and when this self-regulation takes too much energy, the person collapses and so does the relationship.

Regulation is a science. To understand why people reach this point of “no more” and consider separation or divorce, you need to know how to prevent yourself and your partner from reaching break point and how to separate external and internal regulation (self-regulation).

Regulation is the ability to control thoughts, feelings and behavior, instead of doing things on impulse. The more we practice, the stronger it gets, like a muscle. Once it is strong enough, it’s much easier to resist temptation and function according to a plan, rather than going with whatever comes our way or whoever applies more pressure. Just think of a baby that needs to hold his pee until he gets to the toilet. He needs to regulate his impulse to pee in his pants (or diaper).

Here are three research conclusions about self-regulations.

This post is part 1 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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Family Wealth Fitness

Stacks of money of increasing height sprouting plants

Everybody wants their family to be happy, healthy and wealthy. Of course, if you are not born into wealth, you need to grow it with understanding, planning and lots of practice. In other words, increase your “family wealth fitness”.

Looking at how we build physical fitness is a great way to understand wealth creation. To be healthy, we need to be physically fit, and to be wealthy, we need to be financially fit.

Just like physical fitness sits on a scale, wealth fitness sits on a scale. The first stage in physical fitness is to have enough energy and strength to do your regular day-to-day activities and to enjoy your body. The second stage is to build enough stamina to handle sickness and unusual physical challenges well.

Financial fitness is the same. First, you build financial stability, so you can have what you want, manage the day-to-day financial needs easily and enjoy your life. Then, you can build a money buffer large enough to cover large purchases and unplanned expresses.

This post is part 10 of 10 in the series Happily Wealthy Family

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Moving House Made Easy: Making the New Place Home

Settling in your new place is what turns it from a house into a home. Preparing the house and making it suitable to your way of living will set the tone for your life in your new home.

To make the whole thing seem like a great new adventure, it is best to think of as many aspects as possible before you settle into your new place. Dedicate some time to making it just right rather than rushing it.

If you rush, you will only end up with half packed boxes and a completely disorganized house.

Here are some tips I have collected over the years that make this transition as smooth as possible.

This post is part 13 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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The Nitpicker

In the last chapter of save your marriage, I explained how a “king/queen” mentality can impact even the most wonderful of relationships. Over time, kings only strengthen their position of feeling superior, which can drive any “servant” out of the relationship.

In this chapter, I will talk about the king’s cousin, the nitpicker.

In a similar way to the king who adopts his mentality from his upbringing, the nitpicker adopts his habits from his parents. Growing up with a parent who is a nitpicker starts a pattern that children carry on into adulthood. Depending on their emotional state, kids will choose to either adopt or totally reject this mentality. They will either be like their parents or avoid their company and adopt a completely new way to communicate. This is not a conscious decision. Most people are not even aware that they do it. That is why external help is necessary if you want to change from a nitpicking communicating style.

This post is part 24 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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Moving House Made Easy: Unpacking

You have gone through the huge process of moving to your new house – packing, scheduling, planning and the moving day itself. The hard part is over. The only thing left to do is unpacking all the boxes. This can be a very long process and will set the tone for living in your new house. Here are some tips from my experience.

My first suggestion is not to rush it. It is best to take time and consider where to put what, otherwise you will end up moving things back and forth from one place to another.

Another suggestion is do it yourself. Some years, I employed a packing and unpacking services. It worked well in some cases, but the unpacking was always a hassle. It seemed like a good idea but they put pressure on you to decide where to put things. It was never the right decision. Unpacking takes a bit of thought, and trial and error.

This post is part 12 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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Moving House Made Easy: Moving Day

When you and your family are moving house, the moving day itself is one of the most exciting days for everyone. The day also brings up a mixture of anticipation and fear. You will often find yourself consulting your to-do list to make sure you remember everything without feeling overwhelmed. I love to-do lists. They make my life very easy. That is why I have added a list here to help make life easier on your moving day.

If you have people hovering around on your moving day, make sure they are helping and not getting in the way. Some people make themselves at home and jump straight in. But other need you to host them. This is not helpful on your moving day. Keep visitors for another time.
Make sure you have a plan for your trip to the new destination. If you are travelling long distances, you may need accommodation on the way, petrol for the ride, make sure your car is serviced. If you are moving overseas, consider visas, passports, flight tickets. And it is a good idea to have a few copies distributed between the adults. Make sure you have enough cash for the move.

This post is part 11 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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Moving House Made Easy: Just in Case

Moving house is a very time-consuming activity. When things do not happen as you expect, they require even more time, which you probably cannot afford. That is why it is better to be as prepared as possible before you move. Arrange the move as if you are starting a new life in your new house. Here is a list of things to do to make life easy and help you start new.

Back up your computers, just in case. Make sure you have more than one copy.
Find all your warranties and put them in one place so you can use them in case something happens during the move.
Make a folder with all of your essential documents and information: dental records, doctors contact details, schools information, medical records, passports, insurances…

This post is part 10 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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Moving House Made Easy: Changing Address

Many people who are moving to a new house are stressed about changing their address. No matter how many times you move, you still worry about missing letters, statements, services and people. But there are ways to make this change easier.

The easiest way to manage this is to have the post office divert your mail to your new address for the first 3-6 month, until you can notify all the services that have your previous address. The fee is reasonable and if you keep getting letters over time, you can see who you need to contact to change your address.

Another way to make sure your mail gets to you is to talk to the new tenants in your old house and give them stickers that say, “Moved to a new address, 54 Smith Street, Valley Creek”. The post will either forward the mail to you, or reply to sender with your new address now stuck on the front. All at no charge to you.

Christmas, birthdays, holidays and special events are a good opportunity to send people information about a new address. Make a sticker or a business card with your new address and attach it to your cards.

This post is part 9 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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Moving House Made Easy: Bills and Services

When you move to a new house, it can be a bit of a juggling act to manage without a phone, with no electricity or without gas. One of the things I learned from the moves I have made is that it is better to connect and disconnect in advance, and to follow up a week before moving.

Many utility services require time to carry out the connection or disconnection, so do not wait for the last minute. Contact your service providers as soon as you can and find out how long in advance they need to know. Schedule in your diary to contact them on time. For example, if the phone company needs 1-3 weeks notice, give them 3 weeks’ notice.

Bills are a good place to find who your service providers are. Bank statements also help, especially when your bills are automatically charged to your account. If anyone provided a service, that means I paid them, which means that the charges will show up on my bank statement. The list may include…

This post is part 8 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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Moving House Made Easy: Food

One of the biggest challenges of moving to a new house is managing food. Even after everything else is done, in that last week of the move and your first week in the new place, eating becomes a bit problematic. You cleaned out your old fridge and pantry, so you do not have all of your food, and by the time you assembled the dining table and found your aluminum foil, 3-4 days have passed.

One of the first things I do when I know that we are going to move is try to use up everything in my refrigerator, freezer and pantry. That way, we travel lighter and do not have to throw away too many things. There is something liberating about cleaning out cupboards but it can also be challenging. Why? Because you don’t really get to eat what you want, you eat what have in the house. Luckily, you then pack less on the move and throw away less. It is a perfect opportunity to start new and healthy diet regimes. For all those last things in the refrigerator, I use a cooler with frozen ice in it too keep things cool or give away things from the freezer if I cannot take them with me.

The second thing I do is plan our meals for the last week in the old house, focusing on the last two days when most things are packed. If needed, I schedule meals at a restaurant as a celebration. To make it easier, I think of the house like a hotel: there is hot water in the kettle, so instant noodles are a great solution. There is an oven, so oven ready made food is easy, and there is a microwave so frozen meals are also a great solution. I do the same sort of plan for the first week in the new house.

This post is part 7 of 13 in the series Moving House Made Easy

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