How to Develop Kids’ Thinking: Ask the Right Questions

Parents often ask me how to develop kids’ thinking, so that they grow up to be successful and happy. My answer is: ask the right questions.

Beliefs form the boundaries around our thinking. They separate between what we think we can and cannot do. What we believe we can do is within the boundaries of our thinking. We call these “empowering beliefs”. What we think we cannot do is outside the boundaries of our thinking. We call these “limiting beliefs”.

We are all limited in the way we think. Why? Because we do not know what we do not know. Think of the brain as a map we design from the moment we are born. We are exposed to many things and form beliefs that we use to navigate life.

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Disrespectful Behavior is a Mirror: Talk With Kids, Not At Them

A handshake surrounded by the word respect

“Kids today are very disrespectful” is a common phrase I have heard a lot lately. Parents and teachers are very frustrated about this issue of respect. When children exhibit disrespectful behavior, they get into lots of conflicts and trouble and their ability to learn and absorb information is limited.

Respect is a very popular topic at home and at school. Most parents and teachers demand respect and by that, they do not understand that respect is earned and works like a mirror. When your behavior is disrespectful towards children, they will have no respect for you either.

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Children with Auditory Processing Disorders or Not?

A brain made from words marking the different brain functions

I went to study special education to help children and adults with learning difficulties. When I started my journey, over 30 years ago, I thought there were many people with learning difficulties. I still think there are, but in the past, I was convinced they were “organic” – physical, possibly genetic – and therefore hard to change.

Now, after seeing so many children and people of all ages, I think that social attitude creates or aggravates the problems in many cases. Many people have small difficulties that are blown out of proportion and labeled as disorders.

Auditory processing disorders are very popular and easily labeled, even among very young children. Every year that passes, I hear about younger and younger kids with auditory processing disorders. Recently, I even talked to a mother whose son was one year old and she insisted he had an auditory processing disorder. I am qualified enough to know that I cannot assess a child for APD at one year of age.

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Reading Challenges: Children with Weak Visual Perception

There are many possible causes for kids’ reading challenges. Sometimes, the kids need to deal with such overwhelming emotions they cannot learn anything, including reading. Other time, the teacher is not teaching how to read properly (yes, you will be surprised how many kids cannot read because their teachers did not teach them how to read properly).

However, some children have reading challenges due to their weak visual ability. This means that their brain is wired so that they are not very good at absorbing and processing visual input. It is important to understand that this is a brain function and has nothing to do with eyesight.

Many parents think that when their kids cannot read, we just need to read with them more, but that is not the case. It is like giving someone who cannot hold a pen different kinds of pens to solve the problem. Yes, reading more brings some benefit, but a weak visual ability requires stimulating the visual perception at a more basic level. Once this is done, reading becomes easier and more natural and no longer frustrates the child.

Strong visual perception is essential for good decoding and memory of symbols. Reading requires mostly visual perception to analyze and memorize, and some auditory support for non-basic words.

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Use Your Self-fulfilling Prophecy to Help Your Kids Succeed

What does “self-fulfilling prophecy” have to do with good education and helping your kids succeed? Everything!

To raise our children to be successful, happy, healthy and productive grownups, we need a holistic approach. Yet our society and education system take a different approach. Governments spend billions of dollars every year to establish and run educational institutes where kids learn literacy and numeracy. Children dedicate 13 to 15 years of their life to learning things that will play a small part of their adult life.

Do not get me wrong, I think it is important to learn to read. I am also a qualified math teacher and think math is important. But tell me, out of a week of your life, with 24 hours a day and 60 minutes every hour, how much time do you analyze poems or find square roots of numbers? Do your amazing English and math abilities determine how happy, successful, healthy, friendly and productive you are?

I wish!

Learning depends greatly on the self-fulfilling prophecy of the teacher. Yes, I know, it sounds harsh, but the quality of the learning is highly dependent on what goes on in the teacher’s mind (and in the holistic approach, parents are also teachers). Every time I finish a day of professional development for teachers, the teachers are surprised to discover that what they think of the students manifests itself in the students’ behavior, social interactions and academic achievements.

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Find Your Inner Child and Discover Your Intuitive Wisdom

I have been working with children all my life. I think they have some wisdom that fades over the years. This is “thanks” to the education system, which teaches kids to ignore their intuitive wisdom and focus on memorizing, analyzing and following external rules. I always see my students as my greatest teachers, because they teach me what I once knew and forgot.

Children live from the heart. When they do something, they do it with every cell in their body. When they are happy, there are happy with every cell in their body, and when they are sad, it is heartbreaking to watch them.

My own children have made it easy for me to examine this purity, which is later lost. I have three of them, and they are totally different. Although they are 6 years apart in age, it was easy to notice that inside, they had a free spirit and only used the intuitive voice inside to guide them. When they played, they played with all their senses. They were not afraid to be silly or loud. When they ate, they never counted calories and I could see the satisfaction on their face when the food smeared all over it. I have hundreds of photos of them eating with a mess and looking very happy, which makes me wonder, “What do they know that we don’t?”

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Children with the Auditory Communication Style

In my child assessments, I check children’s communication styles. I have been doing this for so long that my family members can sometimes identify the kids with auditory communication style right away, because they talk. A lot!

I usually pay attention to the way they use verbal stimulation to memorize things, if they whisper as they work and if they can repeat numbers and sounds. I also check the way they respond to verbal encouragement. Generally, they do much better when they can control their auditory space than when they are restricted.

Auditory kids are very influenced by the sounds around them and are unable to block them. They are very sensitive to arguments, shouting, yelling, crying, whining and scolding. Some of them say they feel pain when their teacher or parent shouts. Communicating with them in a loud voice may cause them to shut down completely. On the other hand, speaking to them in a soft, calm voice supports their learning greatly.

Children with the auditory communication style can learn anything, as long as it is associated with sound effects, a funny voice, an accent or even a lisp.

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10 Tips for Traveling with Kids this Summer Vacation

Summer vacation is an exciting, yet anxious time for many parents. Every year, parents want a break from taking care of getting up in the morning, preparing lunches, following timetables, driving the kids, checking homework and enforcing sleeping times. At the same time, they are scared of having to fill the huge amount of free time that school handles so brilliantly during most of the year.

I have 3 children and have those feelings every school break. In some of the places we lived around the world, our kids had many holidays besides the summer vacation, so the challenge was even greater. I count the days to the next break with my kids and mark it on our family calendar. As we get closer to it, I get a bit anxious, imagining them wasting time, watching TV or sticking their head in their computer for hours. Preparing and making plans for the summer vacation is the best way to get over this anxiety.

One of the greatest things to do with your kids during the summer vacation is take them on a trip. I have written a lot about traveling with kids. Gal and I traveled with our own children a lot and not only during the summer vacation, but throughout the years, even during school months.

We believe it is meaningful to do in every age (Tsoof was 2 years old when we traveled to China). It is good to have short and long travels (longer trips are better). Travel is good whether you are camping or staying at a fancy hotel. It is beneficial for your kids whether you travel in the same country or overseas, in the company of others or just with your family.

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International Children’s Day and Educational Inspiration by Janusz Korczak

Children are not the people of tomorrow by people today. They are entitled to be taken seriously. They have a right to be treated by adults with tenderness and respect as equals. They should be allowed to grow into whoever they were meant to be - The unknown person inside each of them is the hope for the future - Janusz Korczak

Every year, on international Children’s Day, I remind myself that I was once a child too and felt helpless and confused. It is hard to remember my thoughts and feelings from the early stages of my childhood, because they have faded over time. Still, after working with children and in service of children for 30 years, I would like to give the stage to one of my heroes, Janusz Korczak, who inspired me indirectly, through his philosophy and writing, to be the educator I am today.

I first heard about Janusz Korczak when I was a teenager and studied the Holocaust. Janusz Korczak was the pen name of Henryk Goldszmit. He was a Polish-Jewish educator, children’s author and pediatrician, who worked with orphans in Warsaw before and during World War II. Although he was offered sanctuary several times, he marched with 192 orphans to his death on August 7, 1942, at the Treblinka extermination camp.

Janusz Korczak holding a childWhen I was studying Education, I learned some more about Korczak and his philosophy about children and the attitude to children touched my heart. At that point, he became my hero. The more I learned about him, the more I understood how far our society and in our education system are from this attitude.

At that stage, I decided bring his philosophy into the life of my students. Later on, when my daughter was born, I also had a chance to integrate Korczak’s respect and love for children into my parenting.

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The Truth About Teachers’ Poor Social Responsibility

What if we stopped testing so much and just used thhe extra time for things like ... teaching?

I think that teachers have a social responsibility. Teaching is all about making a difference in the world by inspiring children to be the best they can be. Being in education myself, I often think of my role as that of a social activist.

You see, teaching is the best way to make the ripple continue. I have a social responsibility to give my students the tools to build this world. And to live in it in peace and harmony, with themselves, with the land they live, on and with others. This way, they will continue this cycle with everyone they meet in their life.

Making a difference is on the agenda of everyone who considers becoming a teacher. It’s part of the job description nobody ever reads before embarking on their teaching adventure, but everyone totally understands within a very short time of teaching.

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