Two weeks ago, I talked about the importance of parents’ involvement in their kids’ homework. Last week, I asked you about the best time to give kids homework. Today, I will cover the value of homework and how parents feel and project that feeling towards their kids’ homework.
Read The Value of Homework »
Just like praise and appreciation, rewards are a wonderful way to motivate kids. I think it is very important to understand that rewards are second-level “carrots”. Usually, rewards are required when you have exhausted all your praises and they do not seem to work. Sadly, this usually happens when your kids do not trust that you mean what you say.
Read Motivating Kids (4) »
Last week, I talked about the importance of parents’ involvement in their kids’ homework. Today, let’s discuss the homework day. Should kids get homework at all? Should they have homework every day? Whenever homework is needed? On Mondays? On Fridays? What do you think?
Read Homework Routine »
Every person has different motivation tools. Some people are motivated by “carrots” (encouragement and rewards) and others by “sticks” (threats and punishments). Some want to get something for their efforts and others do things to avoid being hurt or feeling bad. I will describe all the motivation tools, but I would like to encourage you to shift away from sticks and towards carrots. In my opinion, sticks are short term motivators, but they are draining and stressing both for parents and for kids. Success on a test to avoid negative parental reaction has an expensive emotional price attached to it – fear, stress and loss of trust.
Read Motivating Kids (3) »
Many parents feel unsure about whether their kids are getting too much or not enough homework. Some complain that their kids sit for hours to do their homework, while others say, “I never see them sitting for 5 minutes”. Over the years, with three kids in different schools, I have also said that homework was too much or that I do not see the kids doing homework at all.
Living in stress is like living in an ambulance all your life. You are on the road most of the day, you live in a small space, not many people around, everything is difficult, your decisions are all about life and death, mistakes are critical, there is no time to waste, not time for fun, not enough time and space to make your own meals, you see (too) many doctors, you develop a dark view of the world from frequent exposure to accidents, drink driving, violence and self neglect. Through the eyes of the stressed person life sucks!
My mom used to say that kids have an easy life, but I wonder about this. Every time my kids (my own kids or kids I teach or coach) react to difficulties and challenges, I wonder about it again. I know my mom meant that not knowing too much and having no heavy responsibility is a bliss, but I say that not having enough life experiences, not having enough skills and not being able to express yourself properly can be the opposite of bliss sometimes.
Read When Kids Worry »
The questions in Motivating Kids (1) provide a way to give your kids’ “wanting” muscle some good practice and to allow you as a parent to help your kids get what they want in life and be happy. The next step is to chunk each dream down to realistic, day to day pieces that do not involve genies, kings, fairies or lottery tickets.
Read Motivating Kids (2) »
My doctor found skin cancer on my head. He said it was the best kind there was, which does not spread, and that I was lucky. He will just cut it out himself and I will be healthy again. WRONG!
Read Finding Cancer »
I met Amir this year when we both worked for the “together for humanity” organization in Australia. He had black skin and spoke broken English. In the presentation we did together, he told the kids he was from Africa. It is amazing, but most of us in the organization are either educators or social workers. Amir was only in his first year of study for his Social Work degree. As part of the program, he talked to the kids about being “black” and suffering for it. I did not know quite what he meant when he said “suffering”.
Read When the Children Cry »
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