The Bystander Effect

Human behavior was always something that fascinated me. During my studies I learned about the difference between what people think they do and what they actually do. Since then I have been hooked. You see, when we are under pressure, we react differently to when we have time to think, analyze and react at our own pace.

Some people say that under pressure, we reveal our true selves. Others think it is the opposite – we are ourselves all the time and the ugly side of us comes out when we are pushed. I tend to think that when we are under pressure, our reptilian brain, the one in charge of “fight or flight”, takes over. Like a survival mechanism, we react instinctively to protect ourselves when we are stressed or we think we are in danger (whether that danger is real or perceived).

Often times, we see other people’s poor behavior and say, “Oh, I would have done it differently. I would have done such and such and I would have said so and so”. The truth is, we can speculate about what we might have said until we are blue in the face but until we are in a stressful situation, we will not know how we will react.

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What are you made of?

From time to time, being so involved with parents and parenting, people send us stories and video clips about special parents who truly go above and beyond what most people would do for their kids. It makes me wonder about what parents are made of.

Imagine you are in the delivery room, having your baby boy. You are overjoyed, until the doctor examines him. You already know something is not right and then you hear this, “I’m terribly sorry, but your son was born with no eyes and with a certain debilitating problem in the joints that will make his movements very limited”.

If you are feeling the urge to get up and run for your life, away from the enormous burden of dependence, struggle and hopelessness, please stop for the next 6 minutes and see how a special pair of parents, especially the father, have handled such a fate and turned it around into the most inspiring story of dedication and triumph over the odds.

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Motivating Kids (15)

I never, never, never give up. I keep trying until I achieve what I want. Determination is the highest quality of successful people. I am successful. I follow the rules and try to make my school a better place.

This post is part 15 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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The Journey of Life

At a junction of life, in a world full of possibilities, Adam stood in the middle, struggling with making choices. He looked North and asked himself, “If I go this way, will I get what I want or not?”

For a while, he kept asking this question, but did nothing. The unknown was scary and he chose not to choose. Instead, he followed the herd, allowing the river of life carry him into the same stream in which everyone drifts and he lost his sense of identity.

One morning, Adam got up and found he had built his house in the middle of a junction. He was locked inside his own house and it did not feel right. His choice muscle was weak and, as the days went by, it was harder for him to move. He looked out the window, saw others going into their paths of life and felt stuck.

At that scary moment, Understanding he was a prisoner in his own house, Adam knew he had to regain control, focus and inspire himself to start a journey. He knew he had to change his point of view on life – it was a live show and not a dress rehearsal. He needed courage to play, to leave the junction and to take his first steps on the journey of life.

With his heart beating fast, Adam opened the door of his house. He felt the strong light stopping him at the entrance, yet he picked up his bag and bravely stepped out of his house, closing the door behind him.

He looked in his bag, wondering if the contents of this bag would last the journey. “Will the content of my bag help me find the way? Will it help me fight dangers? Will it help me scare the darkness away? Will I find companions to walk with me?”

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Irrational Rules of Living – Discomfort and pain

Discomfort and pain are things most people do not like to experience and, to a certain extent, because of this, we have many problems in life. Pain and discomfort are ways of the body to let us know that something is wrong. We should be very thankful for this mechanism. Imagine us not experiencing pain when our hand is on fire.

This post is part 12 of 12 in the series Irrational Rules of Living

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Irrational Rules of Living – Avoidance

Most, if not all the people in the world want to be happy. Happiness is also what parents want to give to their kids most of all – more than money, health and many other things. Yet, many people believe that in order to get the most happiness, they must avoid unpleasantness and hardship as much as they can.

This post is part 8 of 12 in the series Irrational Rules of Living

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Health Allowance

Last month, I went to visit my family. My mom, who is over 65, was not feeling very well. In fact, she was feeling horrible. She had been diagnosed with Diabetes and had to check her blood every day. For the whole month we spent together, I understood exactly why she had been sick for so many years and why she suffered from so many serious medical symptoms. You see, my mom makes allowances for every little unhealthy thing she does.

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Like a Virgin: Kids’ Focus and Determination

In the past few months, I have been observing our little daughter Noff (“Dad, I’m not little, I’m nearly 7”) attempting handstands and cartwheels. When Noff develops a skill, it is a fascinating lesson in focus and determination.

About a year ago, she went through the same process until she mastered hula hoops and became the center of attention at various outings. Sometime after that, she discovered our digital camera and gradually learned how to take excellent photos and produce interesting video clips, some of which show mainly her…

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Just A Little Bit More

Success depends on the ability to move forward and requires persistence. We succeed at work, at our social life, our parenting, relationships, love life, finance or health only if we can keep moving forward in spite any setbacks.

In the movie “Touching the Void”, the concept of moving forward no matter what, had a life and death flair and gave no option to fail. There is a beautiful Zen saying “Fall 7 times, get up 8”. Successful people do not fail less, they get up more.

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