Optimism or "What’s the big fuss about Emotional Intelligence (Emotional Quotient)?"

Man in office smiling with "Be Happy" sticker on his forehead

Since the Be Happy in LIFE program and the Garden of Eden program are based on promoting Emotional Intelligence, I have been asked many times to explain the main idea behind them.

Although Emotional Intelligence (EQ – Emotional Quotient) became popular after the publication of Daniel Goleman’s Book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, in 1995, it was researched and developed during the 70’s and 80’s.

It was psychologist Howard Gardner’s book Frames of Mind, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, which began the development of EQ.

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Happy Kids Learn Better

For many years, gaining knowledge was the reason kids were sent to school. Knowledge, for many years, was king.

In today’s fast world and overwhelming information, we see many kids in school that have great knowledge but not the ability to succeed in their schooling. What do you think the reason is?

Emotional intelligence was researched during the 70s and the 80s when Howard Gardner wrote in his book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences about his Multiple Intelligence theory. Basically, based on Gardner’s theory, people can have talents and exceptional abilities in areas other than academics.

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Permission to Shine

When I was 14, I promised myself to have words like Marianne Williamson’s speech for Nelson Mandela on the walls of my house to keep me inspired. For those of you who know me, my house has such writings on the walls, in every diary, on every photo album and on the bathroom mirror (in lipstick). I am inspired!

I feel Marianne Williamson captured my life’s journey in this fabulous quote. Many years ago, when I had to make the decision of what to do for a living (except breathing, eating and sleeping), it was the light I saw inside myself that led me to choose Special Education.

I came up with the belief that only people who have seen the light can guide others to find their own and that this is my life’s purpose. Therefore, I dedicated my life to working with gifted children and children with learning difficulties.

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The Be Happy in LIFE Kids Coaching Program

Last month, I wrote about the reasons we as parents need to appreciate and use coaching as a parenting tool.

Today, I would like to tell you a little bit about how it all started for me and introduce the Be Happy in LIFE kids coaching program.

It all started 18 years ago, when I wrote the Garden of Eden program, which put most of the emphasis emotional intelligence. I started an early childhood center with kids aged 1½ to 4 and proved that excellence depends on the teaching, not on the kids.

In the 2 years that followed, the kids at my center accomplished things that blew their parents away. They put together puzzles with many pieces very quickly, they built elaborate constructions, they painted the walls, they recognized written words and lots more. Oh, yes, and they ate healthy food and boasted about it.

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What Am I Worth?

In coaching, we go through a process of re-evaluating our life, cleaning out old beliefs, throwing away disempowering ones and polishing the beautiful, empowering ones.

Once, I had a session with one of my clients, in which we discussed how much she should charge for her services. I think we all wonder about that when we interview for a new job, or when we meet a new client. How much will I be paid? How much am I worth?

My answer for this is always the same: You are worth whatever you think you are worth.

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Dare to Dream

For many people, dreams are the fluffy clouds we see at night when we go to sleep (well, in fact, only the visual people imagine a picture while dreaming).

Another dream in daily use is the wish. We wish for things and by this we tell our subconscious that this is what we want.

Every special event in our life triggers dreams in peoples’ mind. Birthdays, a new job, moving to a new house, a new year and every other new thing that has a feeling of a beginning, has the power to trigger such dreams.

Funny, but we can, if we dare, dream every day of our life.

Every day is the first day of the rest of your life

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Things I Want My Kids to Know: Shoot!

Statistically, 90% of all people do not have any goals in life. Life happens to them instead of them controlling their own destiny. I want my kids to be in the other 10%. This is so important, that all millionaires and billionaires have goals, but the difference is that billionaires read their goals more times each day.

The reason most people in our world are not successful is that they do not distinguish between being alive and living. Whereas being alive is watching a hockey game, living is actually playing.

This post is part 2 of 7 in the series Things I Want My Kids to Know

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Heroes

We all like watching “Heroes” on TV and reading books about strong or creative people who have done things others did not expect them to do. Hearing, reading about or meeting such people is very motivating. Heroism is the courage to face fears, therefore fear and heroes go together.

Fear is a basic human emotion that works like a survival instinct. In a sense, fear helps protect us from danger, though it has reached a point where we see danger even in places where it does not exist.

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The Story of Mike

Bearded man looking sadly out the window

I met Mike at a café. He was very tall and good looking. He had just left home after 11 years of marriage and said “I hate her” 30 times in one meeting. He wanted to know if I could help him. “I’ve been to counselling, but that didn’t work”, he said to me.

He wanted to divorce and did not know how to go about it. He talked about making this a smooth separation and about finding a new partner. “I’m a one woman man”, he said. I liked it. Working with so many couples seconds before they divorce, at least infidelity was not the reason in this case.

Mike had already arranged the paperwork with his lawyer. “I’m going to divorce her”, he said at the end of the first session.

In many cases, coaching is like being an investigator. At the end of the first session, I sat in the café, writing all the pieces of the puzzle I had gathered from Mike.

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Don’t You Hate Pushy Parents?

If you think having a kid with learning difficulties is a problem, try having a smart kid! Somehow, the parents of smart kids end up being labelled as pushy, taking the kids to activities, music lessons, asking teachers for additional material and giving the kids extra homework.

Doesn’t it make you wonder why?

Well, I have been asked many times by my clients and readers about what to do if school is not giving the kids what they need. Many parents express the fear of being considered pushy.

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