Cooking, Eating and Success

Little boy sitting on a stove stirring with a big spoon

My mom always says, “You will eat tomorrow what you cook today” (my mom was a chef, so many of her proverbs come from the cooking world). I think she heard it from her mother, who heard it from her mother, but I am sure that if I trace it long enough back, I will discover this proverb is very ancient, but I doubt most people understand it.

You see, many people cannot find the correlation between their actions and the outcomes they get. When such people are still young, we say it will take them time to learn. When they get older, we call them “stupid”.

I guess this means we are all stupid, because none of us have the ultimate formula for cause and effect. After all, life is a big guessing game based on trial and error and our level of success depends on which attempt we are at.

Nevertheless, there is one thing I know that definitely works and that is doing things in the right order: First we have to cook, then we can eat!

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Marriage of Singles

The current vibe around marriage and likely divorce has caused many people to stay single for a lot longer than they ever would have in the past. The upside of this is more personal development, more independence and an improved financial situation. The downside is getting used to making decisions alone, looking for potential partners and keeping a clear personal space.

Is this a problem? It can be.

You see, having kids is something that cannot wait and should not wait. The quality and quantity of eggs in women goes down over time, which makes having a baby more and more complicated. Women’s physical fitness and flexibility also goes down with age, making matters worse.

From a family planning point of view, having kids over 5 years provides fewer options than having them over 10 years. The age difference between kids is a very important factor in healthy emotional development, but if there is not time, you can only have them close together, which can be challenging.

Being single for a long time causes many people to continue living as two singles sharing a home, instead of a married couple. This gets messy very quickly. In extreme circumstances, the two singles keep things ready for separation, which only makes separation more likely.

After “hunting” for a partner for a long time, the habit of collecting and evaluating potential mates is harder to shake and having affairs does not seem like such a big deal. Why invest in making your marriage interesting if you can just “refresh” your life with someone else from time to time? Alas, the way back is hard and most couples cannot make it.

And there are other economical and social reasons, which is why marriage was invented in the first place.

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The "Other" Parent

In many marriages, one partner is the main “bread winner”, spending his time (or her time, but mostly his) outside the home, being busy with work-related stuff some of the time at home and needing support from the “other” partner (typically the woman). This creates an imbalance in the family.

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Buying Happiness by Giving

Money, whether you like it or not, can buy happiness. Is it better being poor and healthy or rich and sick? I believe the healthy and rich is the better option and I bet you do too.

A recent research has looked for the link between money and happiness and has found out that we can indeed buy happiness, but we get the happiness when we spend our money on someone else.

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The Magic Money Jar

Sabrina did not believe it when she overheard the school librarian talking about the days her grandfather had been so poor he used to walk 45 minutes to work to save the money required for a bus ticket. “He made all his money from the jar”, said the librarian to her friend. Sabrina thought he had made his money from building houses and was very surprised.

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The World Bank: Claim Your Money

I hope that by now you are convinced it is better for you to be a happy, wealthy parent and all you need is some knowledge about the way to get there. As strange as this seems, not all people want to be wealthy and, sure enough, they are not.

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Rich Thoughts, Poor Thoughts

Many people, when I talk to them about making money and being rich, come up with good “reasons” why they do not need to be rich. They tell themselves that rich people are sad, miserable, stingy and, most commonly, corrupt, and they do not want to be rich to avoid fitting these descriptions.

These beliefs were made up by poor people looking for ways to feel good about not having enough money or the skills to get it.

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8 Good Reasons to Be a Rich Parent

Financial struggles can put a lot of strain on family life. When I talk to people about the challenges in their life, many of them say that shortage of money is the main source of their difficulties. In this new series, I am giving you tips on how to be richer, starting with why to be richer!
“We don’t spend enough time with the kids, because we have to go to work and earn money”, they say.

“We can’t give our kids what they need, because we don’t have enough money”, they complain.

“We can’t even take time off for proper vacations to rejuvenate, because there is just not enough money to fund them”, they are ashamed to admit.

“Our kids can’t engage in hobbies and extracurricular activities, because they are too expensive for our family budget”, they tell me in despair.

There are many other versions of the same challenge. If you have ever heard yourself saying any of them about your own family or if you have ever caught yourself thinking like this, then you are at the right place. If you have ever wondered if it is possible to have a family and be wealthy and happy at the same time, keep reading!

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Marriage and Money

Believe it or not, arguing about money is one of three main causes of divorce. Difference in priorities are a main cause of arguments in marriage and when divorce is considered an option, it is more likely that the couple will waste much of their energy on their biggest argument ever about money.

Chances are that partners in marriage have their own ways of spending and saving money. They bring their perception about money from their life before the marriage and many of them find it hard to strike a balance between what he wants and what she want, between what she thinks it is best and what he thinks it is best for the family’s future.

Here are some of the common conflicts around money:

1. What is necessary (food, clothes, jewelry, big screen TV…)?
2. Who needs to contribute more money (many high expectation from men and sometimes too high expectation by men themselves)?
3. Should homemaking be considered equal to financial contribution (try hiring a nanny, a chef, a cleaner, etc)?
4. Should we save for the future or enjoy life today?

When getting married, it is hard for a couple to estimate what their financial requirements will be. Every time they face a financial challenge, it hits them straight in the face and many couples, having poor money management skills, feel that there is just never enough money for what they want in life. Financially, the difference between single life and married life are huge.

Yes, if both husband and wife earned similar salaries, agreed on every cent they spent and the ways to save, many of them would not consider divorce so easily. There is a slim chance for you both to agree on every financial decision. Therefore, in marriage, it is wise to choose your financial battles.

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What is This "Secret" Nonsense?

Some time ago, we visited our good friend Neil, who is married for the second time and lives far away from his son from the first marriage Nathan. Neil had last seen Nathan 11 years before. He had some Photos of Nathan in an album created by his younger son Ben. When Neil had said goodbye his son and moved to another country, Nathan was just 9 years old.

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