Contrary to what most people think, memory is something you can improve with practice. It is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Hugging Babies is Not Enough
Last week, after posting Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 6), I got this comment from Chuck Bluestein referring to his post called What Causes a Lack of Self-Esteem in Americans. According to Chuck, the lack of physical touch in infants is the source of the problem. In short, we are not hugging babies enough.
Well, Chuck, I agree with you that physical touch is essential for kids’ physical and emotional growth. I even think that parents who think they are “spoiling” their babies by holding them in their hands are being unreasonable.
Yes, babies need hugging and touching. But the real problem in our society starts when they grow a bit and Mom and Dad think it is inappropriate to touch them anymore. It reached a stage where grown-ups who lived together in the same house for years shake hands when they see each other.
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Little MacGyvers: Kids Who Talk to Themselves
When I sit in my car, driving the kids to school or just on my way to the supermarket, I like watching people in their cars. Some funny people talk to themselves. Yes, I know. It may look like they are on the phone, but I am talking about the crazy people that actually talk to themselves.
I call these people “MacGyvers”. Do you remember the TV series with this guy who was narrating the whole time? We heard his thoughts all the time wherever he went.
This happens to me a lot. I see people on the street moving their lips while they walk. As funny as it looks, these people have an advantage.
What Are You Saying to Your Teens?
A couple of clients came to me for parent coaching because of a problem they had with their teen boy, and were very surprised when we went through Pink Elephants. They said, “We tell him every day NOT to hang around bad kids, but saying it only puts the focus on those kids we want him to stay away from”.
The day after our session, the mother sent me this email:
“Dear Ronit, You won’t believe what happened after we left our session last night. I was home for 3 minutes and so many Pink Elephants came out of my mouth… It’s so hard!”
It is hard. I agree.
Should my child repeat a year at school or not?
This question usually comes up after a teacher tells a child’s parents that the child is not keeping up with their schoolwork. Often, the teacher actually suggests that the child repeat a year.
However, although the indication given is academic, the problem is most often emotional.
If the reason for the child’s poor performance is academic, I believe there is no point repeating a year. If there is a real difficulty, time is not the cure!
It is better to offer special support to the child during and after school, or in extreme cases, in a special school.
However…
Should I Choose a Single-sex School for My Child?
The single-sex school originated during the 18th century, when rich families sent their sons to “special” schools. Only later, in the 19th century, when the awareness of the value of education increased, were girls also sent to study. Single-sex schools were very popular in England and now also in Australia.
Today, the single-sex schools are popular among religious populations and even more during high school.
Supporters of single-sex schools believe they help kids concentrate on their academic work and avoid the sexual distractions of adolescence.
Critics believe that some social skills relating to the opposite sex reaches its peak development during teenage and that if teens do not have enough practice, this limit their social skills and their ability to relate later on.
How School Promotes Low Self Esteem
Last week, in Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 1), I wrote about the definition of self-esteem. This week, let us explore how school promotes low self-esteem in children and shapes our society in the opposite way.
Since our self-esteem is based on our perception of ourselves and school is the place we spend most of our time between the ages of 6 and 12, every school experience either increases or decreases our self-esteem.
Optimism or "What’s the big fuss about Emotional Intelligence (Emotional Quotient)?"
Since the Be Happy in LIFE program and the Garden of Eden program are based on promoting Emotional Intelligence, I have been asked many times to explain the main idea behind them.
Although Emotional Intelligence (EQ – Emotional Quotient) became popular after the publication of Daniel Goleman’s Book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, in 1995, it was researched and developed during the 70’s and 80’s.
It was psychologist Howard Gardner’s book Frames of Mind, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, which began the development of EQ.
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Happy Kids Learn Better
For many years, gaining knowledge was the reason kids were sent to school. Knowledge, for many years, was king.
In today’s fast world and overwhelming information, we see many kids in school that have great knowledge but not the ability to succeed in their schooling. What do you think the reason is?
Emotional intelligence was researched during the 70s and the 80s when Howard Gardner wrote in his book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences about his Multiple Intelligence theory. Basically, based on Gardner’s theory, people can have talents and exceptional abilities in areas other than academics.
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Happy Parents – The Magic Formula for Happy Kids
In Israel, there is a form of communal living called “Kibutz”, where children live in a room with other kids almost from birth and are being cared for by a carer. In that arrangement, parents came to spend time with their kids before and after work, met them for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the communal dining hall but the kids spent most of their life with their carers and friends and hardly ever slept at “home”. A research over 40 years found the most amazing thing – although those kids spent fairly little time together with their parents, all of them declared that their parents had the biggest influence on their life.