7 Easy Secrets of Behaviour Management

Behaviour management seems to be a big part of parenting. Parents struggle with their kids’ behaviour over their entire parenting “career”.

Many times, I have been asked if I had a “magic formula” to solve behavioural problems and I always say that behaviour management is not fixing behavioural problems but preventing them from happening.

The difference between fixing a problem and preventing it is the difference between a proactive mindset and a reactive one. When I need to fix a problem, I become “The Fire Brigade” and start putting out fires and that is no fun, because I am then controlled by the circumstances or the people around me (the kids).

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Heroes

We all like watching “Heroes” on TV and reading books about strong or creative people who have done things others did not expect them to do. Hearing, reading about or meeting such people is very motivating. Heroism is the courage to face fears, therefore fear and heroes go together.

Fear is a basic human emotion that works like a survival instinct. In a sense, fear helps protect us from danger, though it has reached a point where we see danger even in places where it does not exist.

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How to Stimulate Digital Kids

Digital kids have an outstanding ability to notice patterns, structures, rules and processes. They like to think, take things apart and put them together, possible in a better way. Knowledge is the source of their power and they continually look for opportunities to get more information and sharpen their mind. These kids learn best and expresses themselves best using systems, languages (including math, music and computer languages) and logic.

Digital kids think of things as being “interesting” or “boring”.

Here are some ideas that help digital kids learn better…

This post is part 3 of 4 in the series How to Stimulate Kids

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How to Fill Your Love Tank

It was a very open discussion. Parents talked about their own experiences regarding physical touch. Most were above the age of 40. They talked about living as kids in a society that had discouraged physical expressions like hugs and kisses as soon as kids became teens.

Some talked about coming from cultures where fathers shook hands with their kids. One mother said her teen did not like her hugging and kissing him, especially around others. Then, another mother, let’s call her Maggie, who was there by herself, raised her hand and asked a question:

“I understand the importance of hugs, but I find it hard to hug my daughter. What can I do?”

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Don’t You Hate Pushy Parents?

If you think having a kid with learning difficulties is a problem, try having a smart kid! Somehow, the parents of smart kids end up being labelled as pushy, taking the kids to activities, music lessons, asking teachers for additional material and giving the kids extra homework.

Doesn’t it make you wonder why?

Well, I have been asked many times by my clients and readers about what to do if school is not giving the kids what they need. Many parents express the fear of being considered pushy.

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How to Stimulate Kinaesthetic Kids

Kinaesthetic kids needs to move in order to think. They are also very sensitive to others and have lots of “gut” feelings. Kinaesthetic children learn by doing.

Too often, these kids are treated as trouble makers, being blamed for not being able to sit still. However, but forcing them to sit and be quiet, we effectively shut down their brain and ensure that they learn nothing. More than that, we teach them that learning is not fun.

This post is part 2 of 4 in the series How to Stimulate Kids

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Things I want my kids to know: I will come!

I was sitting in the most wonderful place in the world – on the beach of Koh Samui in Thailand. My daughter was almost seven years old and my was just one yea old and was running on the beach naked. As the two of them were building sand castles, I learned the first thing I want my kids to know.

A 60 year-old man approached us and told us this story.

This post is part 1 of 7 in the series Things I Want My Kids to Know

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Is It Possible for Kids To Take Responsibility for Their Own Learning?

When I was at school, I remember always sitting at the back of the class and being one of the worst students. Only later on in life, during my Special Education studies, I learned about how kids are treated based on where they sit in the classroom.

Did you know that some seats are better than others and determine the teachers’ attitude towards the kids sitting in them? Well, I didn’t know this either and by the time I did, it was a bit too late for me to save myself all those frustrations at school.

But what I realised was that teaching the teachers about their varying attitudes based on sitting positions was missing the mark. Who do you think really needs to know this?

If you have answered “The kids”, you are right! But kids, of course, do not read blogs, so I would like to encourage you, the parent, to pass the information below to your kids and, by doing so, to allow them to take responsibility for their own learning and future success.

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How to Stimulate Visual Kids

Visual kids have a combination video-and-still camera in their heads. They like to see things. Pictures, colours and visual representations of things are their main information carriers. These kids learn best and expresses themselves best using pictures, graphs and colours. To them, one picture really IS worth a thousand words.

Visual kids use colours, graphs and pictures to learn the sounds around them.

Here are some ideas that help visual kids learn better…

This post is part 1 of 4 in the series How to Stimulate Kids

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Beware of Pink Elephants

Most of our coaching clients ask us, “How come I keep getting all the things I don’t want to have in my life?”

Oddly enough, the answer is hidden in the question. It’s all to do with … pink elephants.

Our brain is a very sophisticated machine, with its own way of interpreting the things around us. It turns out that one particular thing our brain can’t understand is negatives. Whenever we hear or use the words “no”, “not” or “don’t”, the brain simply ignores them and keeps the rest.

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