The Two-Edged Swords of Modern Life

As parents, one of the things we always worry about is what kind of a world we will leave for our kids. No matter how many times we vote and realize we can only cast one vote in millions into the box, we somehow still feel it is our responsibility to make sure that when our kids grow up, the world will be safe, clean and pleasant for them. It’s OK, it’s natural.

So let’s explore some things parents do “for their kids” and let’s see what they have to sacrifice in the process. If you have any more examples, I invite you to post them in the comment box below.

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Relax: Let Go of Your Glass

People carry all sorts of “glasses”. Some are heavier than others, but over time, even the lightest ones create stress. If we want to live a happy life, we need to find ways to put them down, even for a short time or better.

To understand the need to let go or at least put down some of your glasses, look at kids. Sometimes, their hands are full and when you hand them something else, they become confused.

Grown ups are just like kids. Their hands are full with so many things to do, think and feel that they are afraid to let go of some of these and to clear their minds for new ones. Remember, you have only two hands.

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4 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 15

In my life, age 15 was the turning point. 4 months before my 16th birthday, I woke up and discovered that the life I lived was an illusion and I opened up to a new life.

For me, 16 was the sweetest thing there was. Life was divided into before and after – before my awakening and after it. Later on in life, there were many times when I wished I could send my 15-year-old self some wisdom to make her life easier.

Here are the things I would send back in time.

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While You Were Sleeping

Whether we like it or not, parents are human beings. What can we do?

So sometimes, we have bad days. Sometimes, we need something to be proud of, because otherwise, we would feel pretty bad about ourselves. Sometimes, we just need reassurance that things will get better, preferably thanks to us. This is why we have kids.

If you are working a full time job, fostering aspirations of promotion and glory, you may be spending much of your time at work, or at least being preoccupied with it. When you come home, you are not in the best of moods, your head is filled with things that still need to be done, by you, for which the due date has not moved, despite the sad fact you have not done them today.

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Readathon: Pay Per Read

Boy reading with flashlight under the blanket

Noff is my 3rd child coming home with a note from school, which offers parents to pay their kids to read books. Since we arrived here in Australia, each of our kids has come home with some “incentive to encourage children to read” project, aiming to entice children to read more by participating in a “Readathon” – a reading marathon.

1. Kids go home with a form asking Mom and Dad to give them permission to participate in the marathon.

2. The kids need to go to grownup friends and relative (grandparents are the best victims for this) and ask them to commit to paying a certain amount of money for every book they read.

3. Then, the kids read as many books as they can.

4. At the end of the marathon, they bring the signed sheet with the payment and the money goes to the school.

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Great Expectations

When I was training to be a life coach, our instructor said to us that our level of disappointment is related to the gap between two things – our expectations and the facts. Although this may sound simple in principle and you may be saying to yourself, “Well, of course”, stop and think about real-life situations where you find yourself disappointed and you will soon see the problem.

I went out to lunch with a few other future life coaches, and one of them, Sarah, told me about some challenges she was having at the time with her teens. Sarah was married for the second time and had two teens of her own and two teens who were her husband’s kids. Most people would already cringe at this stage, right?

Anyway, Sarah said that her kids were well organized, but her husband’s teen daughter was “very messy” and kept leaving her clothes on the floor, which drove Sarah bonkers. When Sarah tried to confront her stepdaughter about tidying up her room, she got the “You’re not my mother” treatment.

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Best Parenting Quotes that Will Change Your Life

Great parenting quotes are an awesome way to inspire ourselves as parents. These words of wisdom can help change our life and the life of our kids.

As you may know, I love quotes (and if you’ve had a chance to read my book or my life coaching website, you know). Since I was young, I believed that the quotes we choose to adopt help us plant thoughts in our mind.

If we choose inspiring, motivating and encouraging quotes, we develop have an inspiring, motivating and encouraging mindset. If we choose sarcastic, pessimistic and disappointed quotes, we will have exactly what we bargained for.

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Law of Attraction Tip I Personally Got from Bob Proctor

Bob Proctor talks about the Law of Attraction

It was one of those ads on the Internet that I thought was strange. A free invitation for an evening with Bob Proctor on the Law of Attraction. You can imagine the excitement I felt. You see, Bob Proctor is one of the inspiring people I had chosen to learn from, and the Law of Attraction was on everyone’s mind.

At that stage, when the Internet invitation arrived, I did not know just how much I would learn from him.

Gal and I registered ourselves immediately and sent the invitation to friends, encouraging them to join us. Seeing Bob Proctor 10 minutes away from us, in a hotel, at no cost, was not something we could imagine happening every day. Two of our friends, who live about 2 hours’ drive from us, registered themselves too, and so we made plans to go together.

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Kids Shopping for a Feeling

Among the roles of a parent, the one role that parents do not like very much is being a bank. How many times have you heard yourself say, “Do I look like a bank?” or “Money does not grow on trees”? At one point, every parent wishes they could give their children everything they desire, until they realize that not everything their kids want is what they actually want to give them.

The “Daddy, buy me!” syndrome is a modern disease of our materialistic world. Once upon a time, everyone was poor and the heroes of our old stories were of a time when people always shared their last remaining bits of food with animals and people who “needed it more”.

Nowadays, in our world of abundance, there are advertisements everywhere, encouraging people to buy things they really do not need. Those ads treat everyone as if they had an enormous budget and try to convince you that you cannot possibly live without this and that even your “Daddy bank” cannot stand in your way.

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Parenting the Socrates Way: Types of Questions

Over the last two weeks, I presented the technique of parenting the Socrates way through questions. The first chapter introduced the benefit of asking questions. The second chapter discussed the right and wrong questions to ask. This week, we will explore the types of questions that you can use to stimulate thinking, creativity, focus, proportion, clarity, motivation and growth in your children.

“An honest man is always a child”
– Socrates

Open questions – Questions that make kids think.
For example, “What do you think?”

Closed question – Questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no”.
For example, “Would you like to come with me to the shops?”

Why questions – Questions that go deep in order to find reasons (and can encourage the kids to give excuses or to blame someone, so be careful about them).
For example, “Why are your hands dirty?”

Rhetorical questions…

This post is part 3 of 3 in the series Parenting the Socrates Way

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