Telling parents their child has a problem is not an easy task. Do you tell parents their child has a difficulty and risk that the label is going to be hard to remove, or follow the parents’ desire to believe their child will “grow out of it” and find out in Grade 6 that the kid is unable to read a single word?
Inside We Are All Kids
Don’t get me wrong, it is OK to be grown up most of the time. It is OK to work, to clean up, to look after the kids and to be nice to my wife. But all this being-an-adult business requires energy and very often self-denial of good things and sometimes, I simply run out of resources. Luckily, I have kids!
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Kiss Buggy
About 3 month ago, the kids, our 7-year-old daughter Noff and our 13-year-old son Tsoof started playing the “Punch Buggy” game. If you do not know this game, it involves looking out for a buggy (a Volkswagen “bug”), and the first person to spot one punches the other and says “Punch Buggy”.
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The State Triangle
The State Triangle shows the relationships between our thoughts and feelings (mindset), our words (language) and our posture and actions (body language). Change on and the others will change.
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Arabian Nights for Kids
It was the summer of my first year of Special Education studies and I was initially given a group of 12 kids in Grade 5. They were mostly boys (for some reason) and the dynamic of the group was problematic. The camp was located in a wonderful forest with a creek running through it and overlooked by beautiful ruins of an ancient village.
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The Value of Homework
Two weeks ago, I talked about the importance of parents’ involvement in their kids’ homework. Last week, I asked you about the best time to give kids homework. Today, I will cover the value of homework and how parents feel and project that feeling towards their kids’ homework.
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Motivating Kids (4)
Just like praise and appreciation, rewards are a wonderful way to motivate kids. I think it is very important to understand that rewards are second-level “carrots”. Usually, rewards are required when you have exhausted all your praises and they do not seem to work. Sadly, this usually happens when your kids do not trust that you mean what you say.
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How to Avoid Abusive Relationships
As your daughter grows older and develops a relationship with a steady partner, the feeling of losing control grows too. Being the mother of a young woman (OMG, she is 20!), I see a lot of value in teaching teenage girls the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
I am sometimes surprised to meet new clients who cannot understand how they got themselves into an abusive relationship. As you can imagine, getting a women out of an abusive relationship is much harder than not getting into such relationship in the first place.
If you are the parent of a young daughter, you are probably asking yourself, “How can I make sure my daughter never gets herself into an abusive relationship?” The good news is you can! And if you do it before the relationship starts, you have a better chance of succeeding.
Motivating Kids (3)
Every person has different motivation tools. Some people are motivated by “carrots” (encouragement and rewards) and others by “sticks” (threats and punishments). Some want to get something for their efforts and others do things to avoid being hurt or feeling bad. I will describe all the motivation tools, but I would like to encourage you to shift away from sticks and towards carrots. In my opinion, sticks are short term motivators, but they are draining and stressing both for parents and for kids. Success on a test to avoid negative parental reaction has an expensive emotional price attached to it – fear, stress and loss of trust.
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Motivating Kids (2)
The questions in Motivating Kids (1) provide a way to give your kids’ “wanting” muscle some good practice and to allow you as a parent to help your kids get what they want in life and be happy. The next step is to chunk each dream down to realistic, day to day pieces that do not involve genies, kings, fairies or lottery tickets.
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