How to Make Troubled Teens Relax: Change Your Parenting

What are troubled teens? Could your teen be troubled? Can you do anything about it as a parent? What can you do? Get your answers right here.

In the past few weeks, I overheard talk about a teenager (let’s call him Jonathan). Besides being very talented, he used to be friendly and “normal”. But recently started to miss classes, show up late, fail various subjects and behave indifferently. One speculation was that he might have started using drugs.

I thought this was serious enough to report to his school through a friend of ours, who is his teacher. “Speculation or not, the school should look into it”, I said.

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It’s All Your Fault!

Blaming is a natural reaction to feeling scared and overloaded, but it comes together with losing power. Zgalit was forever the most miserable girl in the neighborhood. She blamed us for nothing so much and so often that when her claims were real and valid, no one took her seriously.

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Telling Parents the Truth (2)

Although I understand the problems with telling parents the truth about their kids, I believe that not telling causes more problems. When I talk to people who disagree with me, their main argument is “Parents do not want to know”, but I know that whenever I presented “bad” news in a “good” way, parents considered me a savior.

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Discipline

Too often, I hear parents saying the words “kids” and “discipline” in the same sentence. Sometimes, they add “bad behavior”, “naughty” and “rude” for good measure. When I look at them, their faces typically express anger and their whole body language is tense and stiff.

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Riding in Cars with Kids (2)

Yesterday, I started writing about my secrets for riding in cars with kids. If you are a parent and you have kids, I am sure you are asking yourself how to make the ride safe and happy for everyone. I hope the secrets I give here from 20 years of experience and many hours of being in the car with my kids will motivate you to get into the car with your kids and go on wonderful journeys of fun and joy together.

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Riding in Cars with Kids (1)

Riding in the car with kids is challenging for many parents. When the kids are younger, when the rides are longer and when you are the only adult in the car, it can be even worse.

Gal and I lived in Bangkok for a year and half and riding in the car our kids was something we did for hours almost each day. Eden was about 7, Tsoof was just a baby and Bangkok was a big traffic jam. One day, Gal was on his way home (well, it was a hotel, but we called it home for a month) and sat in traffic for 50 minutes until he decided to get out of the car and walk (oh, I forgot to say we had a driver). He arrived at the hotel after 10 minutes, showered, changed and went back downstairs to see the driver pull into the driveway.

To take Eden to see a friend on Saturday morning, we would drive for about 3 hours to a place that would only be 30 minutes away at 9pm. Going to work took 10 times as long as it would in light traffic and that got every worse during the rainy season.

As usual, when you do not have a choice, creativity sparks.

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Criticism No More

Absolutely everybody receives some criticism in life. Some of us have the misfortune of growing up with critical parents, while others bump into their first critic at school, but we all have to face criticism at some point, right?

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What Parents and Kids Fight about

Having conflicts between parents and kids is one of the main issues that parents raise in our parenting workshops. No parent in the world dreams of arguing or fighting as parts of parenting. When kids are born and their parents watch them for hours sleeping in their crib or rattling toys with their tiny hands, none of them imagines ever fighting with this little creature that they loved so much.

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Telling Parents the Truth (1)

Telling parents their child has a problem is not an easy task. Do you tell parents their child has a difficulty and risk that the label is going to be hard to remove, or follow the parents’ desire to believe their child will “grow out of it” and find out in Grade 6 that the kid is unable to read a single word?

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Inside We Are All Kids

Don’t get me wrong, it is OK to be grown up most of the time. It is OK to work, to clean up, to look after the kids and to be nice to my wife. But all this being-an-adult business requires energy and very often self-denial of good things and sometimes, I simply run out of resources. Luckily, I have kids!

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