Things I Want My Kids to Know: Shoot!

Statistically, 90% of all people do not have any goals in life. Life happens to them instead of them controlling their own destiny. I want my kids to be in the other 10%. This is so important, that all millionaires and billionaires have goals, but the difference is that billionaires read their goals more times each day.

The reason most people in our world are not successful is that they do not distinguish between being alive and living. Whereas being alive is watching a hockey game, living is actually playing.

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How to Beat those Pink Elephants

There are two parts to making a change from using a negative language to a positive one. The first is to understand how we were programmed to use negative language in our life. We talk about what we are not happy about and we express disappointment and frustration instead of saying what we feel, need and want.

The second part of making the change is to do something different and practice doing it until it becomes the new habit.

To help you make the change, here are some rules you need to remember.

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Will Marriage Kill Our Relationship?

Here is a question I was asked by a writer from a famous women’s magazine, who wanted my opinion as a life coach.

My girl friend is getting married soon and I feel a bit left out. I feel she is moving on without me. What is the best way to ensure our friendship stays the same, now that we are on different life paths?

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7 Easy Secrets of Behaviour Management

Behaviour management seems to be a big part of parenting. Parents struggle with their kids’ behaviour over their entire parenting “career”.

Many times, I have been asked if I had a “magic formula” to solve behavioural problems and I always say that behaviour management is not fixing behavioural problems but preventing them from happening.

The difference between fixing a problem and preventing it is the difference between a proactive mindset and a reactive one. When I need to fix a problem, I become “The Fire Brigade” and start putting out fires and that is no fun, because I am then controlled by the circumstances or the people around me (the kids).

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Heroes

We all like watching “Heroes” on TV and reading books about strong or creative people who have done things others did not expect them to do. Hearing, reading about or meeting such people is very motivating. Heroism is the courage to face fears, therefore fear and heroes go together.

Fear is a basic human emotion that works like a survival instinct. In a sense, fear helps protect us from danger, though it has reached a point where we see danger even in places where it does not exist.

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How to Fill Your Love Tank

It was a very open discussion. Parents talked about their own experiences regarding physical touch. Most were above the age of 40. They talked about living as kids in a society that had discouraged physical expressions like hugs and kisses as soon as kids became teens.

Some talked about coming from cultures where fathers shook hands with their kids. One mother said her teen did not like her hugging and kissing him, especially around others. Then, another mother, let’s call her Maggie, who was there by herself, raised her hand and asked a question:

“I understand the importance of hugs, but I find it hard to hug my daughter. What can I do?”

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The Story of Mike

Bearded man looking sadly out the window

I met Mike at a café. He was very tall and good looking. He had just left home after 11 years of marriage and said “I hate her” 30 times in one meeting. He wanted to know if I could help him. “I’ve been to counselling, but that didn’t work”, he said to me.

He wanted to divorce and did not know how to go about it. He talked about making this a smooth separation and about finding a new partner. “I’m a one woman man”, he said. I liked it. Working with so many couples seconds before they divorce, at least infidelity was not the reason in this case.

Mike had already arranged the paperwork with his lawyer. “I’m going to divorce her”, he said at the end of the first session.

In many cases, coaching is like being an investigator. At the end of the first session, I sat in the café, writing all the pieces of the puzzle I had gathered from Mike.

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How to Be Happy in LIFE with a simple "Thank you!"

Surprise, surprise, but saying “Thank you!” can change your life.

Do you remember Barney singing for the children “Remember please and thank you, ’cause they’re the magic words”? Well, apparently, Barney was right. A research described by Alvaro Fernandez in his post How “Saying Thanks” Will Make You Happier, has found that gratitude can change your health and general well-being.

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Things I want my kids to know: I will come!

I was sitting in the most wonderful place in the world – on the beach of Koh Samui in Thailand. My daughter was almost seven years old and my was just one yea old and was running on the beach naked. As the two of them were building sand castles, I learned the first thing I want my kids to know.

A 60 year-old man approached us and told us this story.

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Memorial Day – The Last Christmas

Every year since 1982, the 25th of December (Christmas Day) is a memorial day for me. One of the people who had the greatest influence on my life passed away that day. I remember the phone call early in the morning, telling me he was not with us anymore. He was the first person close to me who had ever died. I was just 18 and for a long time I thought about not having the opportunity to say goodbye.

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