In the first post, our top parenting bloggers introduced themselves and their philosophy on life. In the second post, each parenting blogger gave their view on the top challenges of parenting (because knowing what we are facing is half the solution). Today, our top parenting bloggers discuss the best qualities parents should have. Like in […]
Read Top Parenting Bloggers Discuss (3): Best Parent Qualities »
This typically happens to parents with their children as they grow up. When babies are born, they can sleep for hours, make a mess, not answer your questions, look away when you talk, pee on you and cry loudly, no matter what you are trying to do at the time. And that is OK. In fact, whatever they do is great.
But if a toddler cries in the middle of the supermarket, the pressure is on. “I want you to stop crying right now! You’re embarrassing me in front of all these people. Just sit in the trolley and be quiet”.
About 10 years later, it becomes “Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”
Sometimes, when I give my business card to people, I get this odd question, “Are you always happy?”
It is a valid question and I think that people who ask it probably think this is the meaning of happiness, which makes me wonder why they do it to themselves. You see, some definitions of happiness are too tough, meaning it is hard to achieve them, and I would much rather have a definition of happiness that is easy to get.
Let me explain this by using food as an analogy. Who do you think is happier, someone who says “I’m only happy when I drink luxury wine from 1864, use spices from the jungles of the Amazon and cook my food for 22 hours, 16 minutes and 33 seconds precisely” or someone who says, “I’m happy when I eat”?
Read Fussiness or Happiness »
Happiness is the ultimate desire. Whether you are happy with your relationships, happy with your social life, happy with your health, happy with your job/profession/career, happy with your financial freedom or just generally happy with yourself, you want to be happy!
Happiness is a measurement of fulfillment, achievement and success, yet although most of us think it is important, we dedicate more time to other things than we do to studying the art of being happy.
It is as simple as this:
“If you want to be happy, study happiness”
One of the greatest shifting activities we do with our clients is called “100 things that make me happy”. Focusing on the things that make us happy diverts our focus in life from what we do not have to what we have, from complaining to appreciation, from negative to positive and from sadness to happiness.
From time to time, being so involved with parents and parenting, people send us stories and video clips about special parents who truly go above and beyond what most people would do for their kids. It makes me wonder about what parents are made of.
Imagine you are in the delivery room, having your baby boy. You are overjoyed, until the doctor examines him. You already know something is not right and then you hear this, “I’m terribly sorry, but your son was born with no eyes and with a certain debilitating problem in the joints that will make his movements very limited”.
If you are feeling the urge to get up and run for your life, away from the enormous burden of dependence, struggle and hopelessness, please stop for the next 6 minutes and see how a special pair of parents, especially the father, have handled such a fate and turned it around into the most inspiring story of dedication and triumph over the odds.
Read What are you made of? »
What we do on a regular basis, even with little things, becomes our future.
Yes, this is a bold statement, but it is true. The main challenge is that sometimes, we may not realize that what we have just done or said came out of habit. It is easy to see that we eat the same cereal for breakfast every day. That is a simple one to spot, as is driving the same way to work, choosing a certain style of clothes and the likes.
What is much harder to detect is a particular kind of thinking. Today, I want to talk about focused, persistent, determined thinking, as opposed to scattered, carried away, wishy-washy thinking.
We have many defining moments in life, but we do not always know that they are defining, because they simply add a little, or chip away gently, to the definition of who we are. Over time, however, these tiny changes in our self-definition become a whole different person than the one we could be otherwise.
Read Force of Habit »
Kids are very gullible. They love colors and sounds and quickly catch on to new trends and new celebrities. Being young, unfortunately, they do not notice to the messages being delivered straight into their little brains in bright color and pleasant sound.
Our 8-year-old daughter Noff brings home a kids’ magazine called Just Kidding. The name is great and so is some of the content, offering riddles, jokes and general information our kids proudly quote for us. Alas, the good stuff spans about 11 pages out of 48. All the rest is advertising, some of which is cleverly disguised as articles.
Ronit and I were pretty happy about this magazine at first, because our kids like to read, seemed to enjoy the contents and even benefited from having something to talk about at dinner time.
However, through some weird coincidence, one particular magazine lost its cover page and the bare contents found their way to our office desk, where we had a chance to examine them more closely.
Read Just Kidding »
This week, I was at a conference and I had a talk about my book for teenagers with a woman named Jill. As often happens, our conversation turned into a “bitching session” about teenagers.
“Last night, I picked up my 15-year-old daughter from a party. I’m one of the rare parents who still come to pick their kids up. The rest takes a taxi”, she complained, “When I arrived, there were lots of police cars around”.
“Did anything bad happen?” I asked, worried.
“Oh, no, that’s usual. Every time she goes to a party, someone does silly things and the police arrive”.
My 20-year-old daughter and my 14-year-old son had never participated in a party where the police arrived, so I asked her, “What do you mean by ‘silly things’?”
Read Alcohol for Teens »
When someone becomes a parent, it usually starts by being handed a small bundle. The bundle typically weighs around 3kg (6lbs), makes sweet sounds, looks cute and feels nice and warm. That moment feels so great, most parents list it high on their list of the greatest moments of their life.
Hidden inside that bundle, there is something much heavier, though. Nobody can see it – not the doctor, not the nurses and not the security guard that watches you as you leave the hospital with your new baby – but it is there. As a parent, you start feeling its burden pretty quickly. More often than not, as soon as you are back home and the door closes behind you.
One day, you left your home looking like a big balloon or helping one, but essentially being an independent person, and the next, you return being bound to a tiny helpless creature you must care for even when it sleeps, at the expense of your time, your energy, your comfortable old routine, all your other interests and even your relationships with your partner.
Man, that’s heavy!
Read Responsible Parenting »
As you may know, Ronit is away now for over 3 weeks. She is away just before the end of the school year in Australia, when ceremonies and special events abound and when “my plate” fuller than ever with things to do, not to mention the printing of her new book.
We have never had to separate like this before. It was always me who went away for military service or business. When Ronit went away once, the kids went with her and I only had to take care of myself.
Many men I know would be pretty scared in my situation. Many women I know would do anything to avoid leaving their kids with their husbands for extended periods, saying the men would have no idea how to handle the kids. “They couldn’t boil an egg to save their life”, some of them say.
The truth is I was scared of this too, but not for the same reasons.
Read Home Alone »
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