Sharing and Caring

We have all noticed that human communication and relationships seem to be deteriorating – the rate of divorce is still on the rise, bullying is a worldwide phenomenon and the point of discussion everywhere, young people are staying single longer or choosing not to have kids and let’s not get started on customer service. Things are bad and we know it.

But why is that?

It just so happens that this week, I have had a few opportunities to think about this and I would like to share these thoughts with you.

At a pool party for Noff’s friend, one father complained about his daughter disregard for the high of mobile phone charges and said he was surprised she had been so careless with his money. Another mother spoke of how her daughter used Facebook to splash every little thought in all her friends’ faces without taking into account how they might take it. Both parents were quite frustrated with their kids.

When I was growing up, I was told to be polite and considerate. My parents thought about what others would think about the way I dressed, the way I combed my hair, how I spoke, the grades I got and many other things. They looked me over and made sure I was presentable before I went out the door.

It was all about others. We had to get special permission to think of ourselves.

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High Maintenance

There are many things kids do not realize because they are too young. Most of them are related to knowing nothing about tomorrow and just living in the moment. One of these things is maintenance, particularly the need to maintain our physical and mental health. But maintaining our health is too important to ignore.

A few days ago, I went for a walk with Eden, who is a 22-year-old student of psychology. I was telling her about my previous day, when she asked me, “Dad, what’s with all these therapies and supplements and stuff? When will you be healthy and stop them already? When will it all end?”

She was referring to my visits to the chiropractor, kinesiologist and behavioral optometrist, which, admittedly, I was hoping would take a lot less time to get my spine straight, my body balanced and my eyes reading as quickly as I want them to. She was also referring to the various stretching exercises I now do and the occasional supplement I take to aide in those various treatments.

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Supplement Your Life

Modern times have put us in charge of our health and wellbeing and as parents, of the health and wellbeing of our kids. Gone are the days of the good old doctor who knew everybody by name and actually cared about them. House calls are certainly a thing of the past.

– We must take responsibility for our own health, because nobody else will do it

– We must take responsibility for our children’s health, because it is part of the “job description” and they are important to us

– We understand that being healthy is a prerequisite to doing well at school and at work, to staying alive longer and to enjoying life

– We live a lifestyle that is faster than ever and far more stressful, which is bad for our health

– We eat food made to taste good, not to be nutritious, which means that most of us do not get what we need out of it

– We need to prevent physical and mental issues and keep ourselves balanced, rather than treat symptoms

– We already use chemicals to overcome our challenges and we are typically aware of their effects (good and bad) on our body and mind

So why not use food supplements?

We are not experts, but we have found value in some food supplements, despite having to overcome the feeling we are self-medicating. We have tried superfoods and spices, as well as pills and capsules. We have tried “natural” products and “artificial” ones, and we have not found the complete answer yet.

Maybe if we parents get together and discover the best ways to supplement our life and the life of our kids, we will all be healthier, happier and more successful.

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Risk, Success and Happiness

There is a beautiful story about 2 sales people of a shoe company sent to a deserted African country to examine business potential. The whiner calls his boss and says, “People here walk barefoot. They do not wear shoes at all. Our sales potential is zero”. The winner calls his boss and says, “People here walk barefoot. They do not wear shoes at all. We have no competition. The whole market is ours for the taking”.

Every success involves risk. It may sound funny, but the greater the risk, the greater the achievement. Poor people consider risk takers foolish, but those who excel will tell you that no achievement is ever accomplished by staying in your comfort zone.

The “comfort zone” is a very dangerous place, because it repels creativity and success. The comfort zone is the place where you welcome your fears with open arms and keep them company. There is nothing wrong with relaxing from time to time and resting before climbing the next mountain, but when we get too comfortable, out choices are eventually limited to getting up or drowning.

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Fighting Poverty

Luck has nothing to do with success and all the successful people will tell you that most of their success did not fall from the sky but there was some opportunity they were able to recognize. Developing the attitude to recognize opportunities is mistaken for some mystical luck similar to winning the lottery.

When my son was preparing for a competition, I told him the lottery story. This story is a ticket out of poverty. Take every opportunity to use it.

Every Friday, the archangel Gabriel went down to the Wailing Wall to pick up the notes of requests people stuck on the wall during the week. Every week, he read all the notes and organized them before presenting them to God.

One day, Gabriel want to God and said, “Dear God, there is this old man who comes here every week, rain or shine, for 25 years. Every week, he begs you to let him win the lottery. He is a good, religious man and never asks for anything else. Please God, I have read his requests every week for 25 years and it breaks my heart. Can you please grant the poor man his wish?”

God said, “I would do it gladly, if only he bought a ticket”.

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The Art of Excellence: Success with High Standards

Quality and high standards lead to excellence

In the eyes of the average person, there’s something snobby in striving for excellence. For some people, possibly for most, excellence is pure luck, almost a luxurious state of living that you’re either born with or not. It is no coincidence that those who think this way don’t excel at many things in life.

There’s a paradox in the search for excellence, because it is the result of an attitude, a habit you need to have in the first place in order to achieve it. There’s something frustrating in understating what T. Alan Armstrong said, “Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely the demonstration of their championship act”. It’s frustrating, because it makes you think that excelling is hard work.

Excellence goes together with extraordinary success that is higher than all standards. It’s frustrating because you cannot reach excellence without succeeding big time.

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The Importance of Family

This site is about parenting and most of our posts are about how to be great parents, but today, I want to tell you more about why to be great parents and why to keep good relationships with family and friends in general.

Following heavy rains, many places in Queensland were flooded in the past couple of weeks. Floodwater rose higher than roof height in some places, inundating businesses, farms and many homes. As you can see from the photo, main streets became rushing rivers, carrying cars, parts of homes and various other things with them, uprooting trees and soaking property beyond repair.

We live on a hill about 10km from the Brisbane River. We have had heavy rains for a few weeks now and our yard is very wet, but as we hardly follow the news, our first indication of trouble in our own city was when our friends and family members started emailing and calling us to ask if we were OK.

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Happy Holidays from Family Matters

Family Matters is taking some time off from researching, coaching and writing and heading off on a family vacation. After all, this is why we do what we do – to help ourselves have a better family time together.

It has been an awesome year for us. We were very proud and happy that our daughter Eden, our happy thought, joined us in writing this year. We have had many personal achievements at work, in our relationships and with our kids. The only wish we have for ourselves is that next year will be even better. Better is a good formula for a happy life.

We want to thank all of the 150,000 readers we have had this year and give special thanks to all those who have posted comments, shared their opinions and contributed to the community of parents and educators around this blog. Whatever your personal views, we love to read them and engage in a discussion on the important aspects of parenting with you.

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How to Survive Parenting Holiday Stress

Much has been said and written about the effects of the holiday season on families, on health, on relationships and on stress. Holidays are so different from our everyday life they bring about many changes, not all of which are welcome. Today, I want to look at what happens to working parents when the holidays approach.

For many years, I worked in corporate information technology. As you would expect, this involved being away from home 10-11 hours every day, commuting during rush hours, occasional overnight travel and feeling stressed and sometimes insignificant.

With this kind of experience at work, all I wanted to do when I got home was to have some peace and quiet for a while, enjoy a pleasant dinner with my family and unwind from my workday. Some days, all I wanted to do was sleep.

In order for that to work, Ronit had to take care of absolutely everything to do with keeping a home and raising kids – housework, shopping, cooking, homework, parent-teacher meetings, afternoon activities and more. I knew very little about what went on during the week and pretty much saw the kids on weekends.

And during that time, I was terrified.

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Handy Family Tips: Electric toothbrush

Yes, the toothbrush does a great job.

Yes, the ability to change brush heads is a great idea.

Yes, the family pack is a great idea.

Yes, a single charger for two motors is excellent.

Yes, having 4 little compartments to hold 4 brush heads is awesome.

But…

What is that silly idea with the colorful rings at the bottom? When the heads are inside the container, how can you tell if this is your brush or belongs to your partner or child?

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