7 Easy Secrets of Behaviour Management

Behaviour management seems to be a big part of parenting. Parents struggle with their kids’ behaviour over their entire parenting “career”.

Many times, I have been asked if I had a “magic formula” to solve behavioural problems and I always say that behaviour management is not fixing behavioural problems but preventing them from happening.

The difference between fixing a problem and preventing it is the difference between a proactive mindset and a reactive one. When I need to fix a problem, I become “The Fire Brigade” and start putting out fires and that is no fun, because I am then controlled by the circumstances or the people around me (the kids).

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The Story of Mike

Bearded man looking sadly out the window

I met Mike at a café. He was very tall and good looking. He had just left home after 11 years of marriage and said “I hate her” 30 times in one meeting. He wanted to know if I could help him. “I’ve been to counselling, but that didn’t work”, he said to me.

He wanted to divorce and did not know how to go about it. He talked about making this a smooth separation and about finding a new partner. “I’m a one woman man”, he said. I liked it. Working with so many couples seconds before they divorce, at least infidelity was not the reason in this case.

Mike had already arranged the paperwork with his lawyer. “I’m going to divorce her”, he said at the end of the first session.

In many cases, coaching is like being an investigator. At the end of the first session, I sat in the café, writing all the pieces of the puzzle I had gathered from Mike.

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Beware of Pink Elephants

Most of our coaching clients ask us, “How come I keep getting all the things I don’t want to have in my life?”

Oddly enough, the answer is hidden in the question. It’s all to do with … pink elephants.

Our brain is a very sophisticated machine, with its own way of interpreting the things around us. It turns out that one particular thing our brain can’t understand is negatives. Whenever we hear or use the words “no”, “not” or “don’t”, the brain simply ignores them and keeps the rest.

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7 Easy Steps To Detoxify Your Life

Fruits and mint for detox in heart shapes

This happens to many people. They get up one day feeling sick and tired of trying so hard and determine to change. Some of us are lucky to be really sick and are forced to listen to our body and detoxify. I have a group of clients who all know one another (they referred each other to me) and they imitate me saying “Sickness is health” (they say it in a funny way, I must sound very funny when I say it).

Sickness is our body’s way of talking to us. When we are sick, the level of poison in our body has reached a warning level. If we do not stop to detoxify, we can ruin our own life and the lives of the people we love.

Having been very sick during childhood, I was shocked to discover when I was just 16 that my thoughts were pure poison. I had bad thoughts about myself, my abilities and my talents. I had bad thoughts about others around me and, of course, I never took any responsibility over my life. Not that I didn’t want to, but I do not think I knew what it meant.

Well, what do you know? As soon as I realised this, I fought my way back to school (after failing too many subjects and being kicked), I started going out with a boy, I got an excellence scholarship and was sent with the first-ever Israeli youth delegation to Egypt, to help establish new relationships just after the peace agreement was signed between the two countries. You can certainly say this was one of the best “sick and tired” points of my life.

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Just A Little Bit More

Success depends on the ability to move forward and requires persistence. We succeed at work, at our social life, our parenting, relationships, love life, finance or health only if we can keep moving forward in spite any setbacks.

In the movie “Touching the Void”, the concept of moving forward no matter what, had a life and death flair and gave no option to fail. There is a beautiful Zen saying “Fall 7 times, get up 8”. Successful people do not fail less, they get up more.

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Happiness!

During the holiday season, when people sum up the last year and get ready for the new year, we wish them a special wish of happiness. A simple, but the ultimate wish.

During the holidays, when the shops are full of people buying presents to each other, with much love and care, it is the best time to ask why.

Why do we buy things for each other? Why do we pay an expensive flight ticket to celebrate with the family? Why do we diet before a get together?
Deep inside, we all know that the reason we buy things, get together with family, diet or clean the carpet is our desire for good, happy feelings.

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