Sabrina did not believe it when she overheard the school librarian talking about the days her grandfather had been so poor he used to walk 45 minutes to work to save the money required for a bus ticket. “He made all his money from the jar”, said the librarian to her friend. Sabrina thought he had made his money from building houses and was very surprised.
Read The Magic Money Jar »
Many couples in crisis get to this situation because they do not know each other well. Knowing each other is the first step in overcoming conflicts. In this part of “Save Your Marriage”, I am going to write about the importance of knowing your partner and teach you how to learn all there is to know about your partner. Getting to know your partner’s fears, joys, history and attitude are the first step of any relationship.
Think of marriage as a relationship between two onions. For a couple to get closer, they have to peel the layers of the onion one by one. In the beginning, when you meet a potential partner, you peel the thin external layers. As the relationship deepens, you need to peel more and more layers to discover the beautiful person hiding inside.
To understand, respect and love each other in our marriage, we must truly get to know the person sharing out life. Sometimes, just knowing what their fears are or their joys can change a whole life. I remember the first time Gal gave me his list of “50 things that make me happy” and I was surprised to find out he was happy about very little things. It was surprising, because we had lived together for over 15 years.
Assuming that if you live together you know everything is a bad idea. Even if we knew out partner well at some point, we still need to update ourselves and keep learning about them because, just like us, our partner changes with every event in their life.
If you ever go on a TV show of the “best married couple” type, they will ask how much you know about each other.
Why?
Because everyone assumes that knowing things about each other is essential to your success as a married couple.
Time is a valuable resource. The older we get, the less spare time we have to do the things we want to do. Most people are trapped in “must do” action so much that fun, pleasure and enjoyment are neglected and shrunk to a minimum.
Read Who Wants to Be Busy? »
If you are like me and like many other people I know, you sometimes ask yourself just how successful you are. Birthdays and New Years are typical opportunities to do this, but there are many other soft moments, when we find ourselves sitting quietly and thinking, “How is my life going?”
Read How to Measure Your Life »
I hope that by now you are convinced it is better for you to be a happy, wealthy parent and all you need is some knowledge about the way to get there. As strange as this seems, not all people want to be wealthy and, sure enough, they are not.
I met Amir this year when we both worked for the “together for humanity” organization in Australia. He had black skin and spoke broken English. In the presentation we did together, he told the kids he was from Africa. It is amazing, but most of us in the organization are either educators or social workers. Amir was only in his first year of study for his Social Work degree. As part of the program, he talked to the kids about being “black” and suffering for it. I did not know quite what he meant when he said “suffering”.
Read When the Children Cry »
For many years, I have been writing about the quest for happiness and, as you may now, I believe that focusing on good is the best way to make it expand. However, there are (many) people who find negative examples more effective, so I am going to try some humor (taking a cue from my kids, who flattered me this month when I bought a funny birthday card and said I was developing my sense of humor) and talk a little bit about the dark side of life.
Read The Art of Misery »
Many people, when I talk to them about making money and being rich, come up with good “reasons” why they do not need to be rich. They tell themselves that rich people are sad, miserable, stingy and, most commonly, corrupt, and they do not want to be rich to avoid fitting these descriptions.
These beliefs were made up by poor people looking for ways to feel good about not having enough money or the skills to get it.
Read Rich Thoughts, Poor Thoughts »
This week, I received this inspiring movie about a father, who participated in the “Iron Man” (triathlon) competition with his son. I watched it with tears of inspiration, tears of excitement and joy for the glory of parenting and the essence of love. Love can help us carry heavy loads and push through enormous difficulties, and then it can inspire others too.
Read See What Love Can Do »
We all have more power than we think, but to realize this power, we must often use it first and see the results later. We keep ourselves weak as long as we do not act and only when we take action do we create this power.
Read Just Do It! »
Book your private life coaching with Ronit Baras and learn how to be happy in life
