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Home » personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement » Page 58

Assertiveness and Self Esteem

Toe with a smile peeking from socks

Today, let’s talk about assertiveness and self-esteem. You will see how being assertive cures the “disease to please” and get useful, practical tips for increasing your own assertiveness and that of your kids.

I am sure this has happened to you before. Something happened, you felt uncomfortable, but said nothing. Some time later, you thought, “I should have said this” or “I should have told them what I thought”.

The expression “should have” indicates disappointment. Using it does not support self-esteem and makes you feel weak but we all have it some way or another. “Should have” is telling yourself you regret not having handled a situation differently or allowing someone to bully you.

If you use this expression often, you probably need to take an assertiveness pill. I am sure you have heard about assertiveness, but what is it really?

This post is part 8 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

Read Assertiveness and Self Esteem »

Published: May 7, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: December 23, 2019In: Personal Development, Parenting, Success / Wealth Tags: self confidence / self esteem / self worth, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, communication, emotional intelligence, beliefs, relationships / marriage, assertive

5 Common Parenting Mistakes

Girl shouting in a car

When I decided to write the post, after many requests, I was not sure if I should call it “5 Common Parenting Mistakes”. You see, calling something a mistake is a form of judgment, like saying there is a right way to do something.

But I do not believe there is a right way. I think there are many ways and they need to suit the person who implements them.

When I studied my Special Education degree, I learned hundreds, if not thousands, of education and psychology theories. It may sound surprising to you, but some of them were in contradiction with others.

Read 5 Common Parenting Mistakes »

Published: April 29, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Kids / Children, Parenting, Teens / Teenagers, Relationships / Marriage Tags: focus, behavior / discipline, emotional intelligence, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, practical parenting / parents, role model, identity, relationships / marriage, family matters, positive attitude tips, kids / children, teens / teenagers, communication, acceptance / judgment / tolerance

100 Things I Want to Do in My Lifetime

Hand raising wine glass to Ayre's Rock

Every person dreams about extreme happiness. That’s a time when we do only the things we want, spend most of our time with the people we love the most, have the money to give ourselves everything we want and are at the peak of our health. In short, our life is perfect.

I think most of our energy in life is spent on bridging the gap between our reality and our dreams, but this energy is wasted if we do not know where we are going.

Many people, when I ask them about what is going to happen in ten years, they say they do not know. I wonder how they can bring themselves to that day without knowing that is where they are going. Most people feel they have no control over what is going to happen in ten years, so they give up planning.

Read 100 Things I Want to Do in My Lifetime »

Published: April 28, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: February 25, 2020In: Success / Wealth, Personal Development Tags: emotional intelligence, purpose, positive attitude tips, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, goals / goal setting, focus, vision, success

Your Self-Esteem Checklist

Young woman lying peacefully on a bed of leaves

For people to think highly of themselves, they need to be aware of every aspect of the self and identify their own personal scale to measure their performance. Most people are so used to defining themselves based on others around them that I can understand why this is not an easy task. Easy it may not be, but it is possible and, I believe, essential.

Last week, in Service Your Self-Esteem, we talked about essential rules to increase self-esteem. To increase our self-esteem, we need to look at ourselves carefully and examine each part of what creates the self.

Last week, we met Eli, my mechanic, and talked about his checklist for car maintenance, the one he uses before returning each car to its owner. Well, here (at last) is a self-esteem checklist – your very own list of the parts of your self-esteem.

This post is part 6 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

Read Your Self-Esteem Checklist »

Published: April 14, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: May 6, 2020In: Life Coaching, Emotional Intelligence Tags: Life Coaching, positive attitude tips, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, focus, health / wellbeing, success, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, emotional intelligence, beliefs, happiness

Expect to Be a Happy Parent

Happy parents with their sleeping baby

One major difference I see between happy parents and unhappy parents is in the gap between their expectations and the fulfilment of their expectations. Basically, if your expectations are high and are not fulfilled, you will be disappointed and unhappy. However, if most of your expectations are fulfilled, you will be a satisfied and happy parent.

Expectations are one important factor of happiness. Byron Katie does some wonderful work (she even calls it “The Work”) on how our expectations can make us miserable if they do not match reality (read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life).

Children living in a family with expectations that are too high to be fulfilled feel inadequate and develop a failure identity. For example, a family of musicians with high expectation from their kids regarding their musical aspirations and abilities would be devastating for a kid whose passion is playing soccer.

Read Expect to Be a Happy Parent »

Published: April 11, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Relationships / Marriage, Personal Development, Life Coaching, Parenting Tags: positive attitude tips, kids / children, focus, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, values, practical parenting / parents, success, emotional intelligence, beliefs, happiness, motivation, relationships / marriage, family matters

Service Your Self-Esteem

Massage service

Last month, I sent my car to be serviced. On the front window, my mechanic put a label telling me when to bring the car to him for the next service. When he returned my car, it drove perfectly, quietly, smoothly, swiftly and without any black smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe.

People are a lot like cars. We function well, smoothly and at full speed when we take good care of ourselves. When we neglect ourselves, we feel bad, rejected and frustrated and our performance suffers. Whereas cars need servicing every 10,000km, people need it roughly every week (10,000 minutes), so take care of yourself at least once a week to feel fresh and shiny.

This post is part 5 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

Read Service Your Self-Esteem »

Published: April 7, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Personal Development, Life Coaching Tags: emotional intelligence, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement

Teen Birthday Parties: Who Needs Them Anyway?

Teen girl blowing out candles on a cake at a birthday party

It was the third birthday our daughter had refused to celebrate with friends. For her 17th birthday, she invited a couple of girls to go out for a movie. For her 18th birthday, she spent the day crying because it was her grandmother’s funeral (and her dad was away to attend).

When she approached her 19th birthday, we had the same discussions about a party all over again.

When I was kid, most of the kids wanted to have a party, at least on their birthdays. Only the “rich” kids could have parties every year. Some rare kids had parties more than once a year and those were obviously the most popular.

Read Teen Birthday Parties: Who Needs Them Anyway? »

Published: March 27, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: January 22, 2020In: Personal Development, Parenting, Teens / Teenagers Tags: emotional intelligence, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, identity, practical parenting / parents, mother, father, mom, dad, happiness, teen books, kids / children, teens / teenagers, self confidence / self esteem / self worth

Change: Let Go of Your “‘Bananas”!

Tattooed strong man behind a fence

How do you trap a big monkey in a small cage the size of a banana? Easy! You place a banana inside the cage and leave an opening large enough for the monkey’s hand, but not for the banana.

As soon as the monkey grabs the banana, it is trapped! The monkey can set itself free if it lets go of the banana, but it won’t. By not giving up what it has in its hand, it locks itself just outside the tiny cage.

People are the same – we hold many “bananas” that keep us trapped in little “cages” – because we just won’t let go.

Read Change: Let Go of Your “‘Bananas”! »

Published: March 20, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Personal Development, Life Coaching Tags: beliefs, change, happiness, Life Coaching, k-12 education, positive attitude tips, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, focus, values, emotional intelligence

Are Your Ready?

Woman ready to sprint on a track

It all started when our daughter Eden was a year and a half old. She had Pneumonia and high fever and she wheezed all day.

After one dose of Antibiotics (by the way, 18 years ago, it was every 6 hours, even if it meant waking her up at night), we had about a week or two off and the wheezing started again.

First kid, young parents, we went straight to see our baby specialist. He was the head of the Pediatric Ward at our local hospital and we went to his private clinic every time something happened.

About 4 months later, we found ourselves in his private clinic again. It was Pneumonia the fourth time. During that time, Eden had red, dry cheeks, high fever (every time she was not on any medication) and wheezing, wheezing all day.

Read Are Your Ready? »

Published: March 14, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: January 21, 2020In: Kids / Children, Health / Wellbeing, Personal Development, Parenting Tags: values, inspiration, emotional intelligence, change, positive attitude tips, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, health / wellbeing, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, focus

My kids don’t eat the food I make. What should I do?

Happy boy eating chocolate

Kids’ eating habits are very important for parents and it is very frustrating to prepare food and find out your kids do not like it.

If you look at this issue from an emotional point of view, it has to do with control. Your kids are exercising control over what and when they eat, while you try to keep that control. Once you look at it this way, though, the solution is simple.

Here are some great things that will get your kids to eat well.

Read My kids don’t eat the food I make. What should I do? »

Published: March 13, 2008 by Ronit Baras
Last modified: March 18, 2021In: Parenting, Ask Ronit, Kids / Children, Health / Wellbeing Tags: fat, diet, family matters, body image, kids / children, behavior / discipline, emotional intelligence, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, practical parenting / parents, control, food, eating disorders, anorexia

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