Kids are Like Fish

Kids are like fish. No, not because they are pretty and cute (although they are pretty and cute) but because their ability to grow depends on their environment, much like fish.

Did you know that fish will grow to the size that will be supported by their surroundings?

If you put a fish in a small bowl, it will grow to fit the size of the bowl. If you take the same fish into a small pond, it will grow bigger. If you move it to a lake, the same fish can grow to be big, really big.

Kids also have this fishy characteristic. For them, life is a fish bowl and they depend on the grown ups in their life to find a good size bowl to call home. They also depend on the grown ups in their life to “clean the water” and supply them with “food”.

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Happy Parents – The Magic Formula for Happy Kids

In Israel, there is a form of communal living called “Kibutz”, where children live in a room with other kids almost from birth and are being cared for by a carer. In that arrangement, parents came to spend time with their kids before and after work, met them for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the communal dining hall but the kids spent most of their life with their carers and friends and hardly ever slept at “home”. A research over 40 years found the most amazing thing – although those kids spent fairly little time together with their parents, all of them declared that their parents had the biggest influence on their life.

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Proud as a Peacock

My daughter is celebrating her 19th birthday this week. It is an exciting time for us both. Can you imagine? 19 years!

Sometimes, when I try to remember her crawling on the floor or saying her first words (which was early, very early), I have only vague memories.

She is so big now (she is taller than me, but that is easy), yet she is still young and acts like a child. She is so mature, yet she is naïve.

Our kids’ birthdays are a wonderful way for us to take stock of our parenting. Every year, they grow and mature and learn about themselves, we do too. We learn about our achievements or our challenges and it makes us better people, better parents.

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Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids

Parents and 2 little kids on a part bench

Parenting (especially teenage parenting) is undoubtedly the most challenging adventure in a person’s life. Remember the first hours of being a mother or a father? The unconditional love you had for this tiny new creature that did nothing but eat, sleep and cry, coupled with the enormous load of the new responsibility, from which there was no escape. A bit overwhelming, wasn’t it? For some parents, even a bit scary sometimes. Who can you turn to for parenting advice?

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Interview with an Author

Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers by Ronit Baras

Find the answers to all the good questions I was asked about my first teen book “Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers”.

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10 Ways to Encourage Your Kids

Researches have suggested that academic success is not a result of natural born talent but a result of persistence, encouragement and motivation to succeed.

In order to effectively use encouragement, it is good to understand that encouraging a kid to do something focuses on the good things and sends kids a message “You are OK”.

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It Won’t Happen to Me

My response to David Bogner’s post “Monsters or Victims”, following the rape of a 12 year-old girl by 13 year-old boys.

… what you can do to be your teen’s friend and you may find they want you to set the boundaries and “save them from themselves” when they make mistakes. Being afraid of parenting your teens only sends a message of insecurity. If responsibility needs to be taken, between parents and teens, who do you think should take it?

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Inspiring True Story for Parents

A couple of weeks ago, I delivered a Parenting Skills workshop for the Mullumbimby High School parents and friends. It was great fun and I was honoured to have the school principal and the mayor of Byron Shire attending. Here is an inspiring true story I told them about the important messages kids & teens need […]

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Gentle Men and Strong Women – Avoiding the Male Teacher Trap

In her article More male teachers needed, Gayle wrote about the reasons male teachers are needed in the education system. She expressed it from a mother’s point of view and described how beneficial it is for children to have male figures in their life, especially in a society where many kids do not live with mum and dad in the same house.

Now, although the education system’s purpose is to mould the habits and mindset of society, what happens when the teachers says, “Men can be whatever they want and women can be whatever they want”, but when the kids go home, they see dad fixing electrical appliances and mum cleaning. YOU, the parent, are still the most influential agent in your kids’ life. Compared to you and your thoughts, beliefs and ideas about gender, the education system stands no chance.

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“The Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen” – Revised Edition

If you are a parent of a teenager, every bit of advice is welcomed. This is what I thought before I read what Busy Mom wrote in The Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen. And I ask you, “With parents thinking like that, who needs enemies?”

Do you really, really believe that the day her kid reached his thirteenth birthday, something in his head started going wrong and turned on the “reputation” light? Or maybe her kid really gave her a crash course in parenting teens.

I think that our kids are like little mirrors of us, reflecting back everything we do and say. Parenting teens is no different than parenting younger kids. The only difference is that teens are much larger mirrors.

So I have revised the Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen.

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