If you are a parent of a teenager, every bit of advice is welcome. This is what I thought before I read what Busy Mom wrote in The Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen. And I ask you, “With parents thinking like that, who needs enemies?”
The article claims that we parents need to be very careful about what we do in order not to damage our teen’s reputation.
- Don’t talk to people at the shops
- Remember that you are a wallet and a driver
- Don’t talk to your teen’s friends in the car
- Don’t take things from them
- Don’t be friendly with their teacher
- Don’t talk about driving them to events…
- and never ask “where are you going?”
By the way, she did say she became a mother of a teen only a few weeks before.
Do you really, really believe that the day her kid reached his thirteenth birthday, something in his head started going wrong and turned on the “reputation” light? Or maybe her kid really gave her a crash course in parenting teens.
I think that our kids are like little mirrors of us, reflecting back everything we do and say. Parenting teens is no different than parenting younger kids. The only difference is that teens are much larger mirrors.
My revised teen parenting commandments
So here are the revised Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen:
- Thou shalt love and cherish thy teen and express this love every day, even when ye disagree, for this shall affect the teen’s confidence and future.
- Thou shalt remember to communicate with thy teen and always leave an open communication channel, for this shall help thy teen to come for help and shall secure his (or her) trust and future.
- Thou shalt not underestimate thy teen’s ideas, fears and challenges for thou shalt be deemed “disrespectful”, and this shall affect thy teen’s respect and future.
- Thou shalt not be dishonest by asking teens not to do the very same things you do (smoke, drink, etc). Thou shalt always “walk the talk” for this shall affect thy teen’s perception of truth and honesty and their future.
- Even though thou is shorter than your teen, thou shalt try thy hardest to hug and kiss thy teen for they forever need love and connection. This shall affect thy teen’s ability to connect physically and emotionally in the future.
- Thou shalt declare in public that thou hast the most wonderful teen on earth, a loving, sensitive, understanding, respectful teen, for this shall affect the teen’s sense of pride and their future.
- Thou shalt not mock thy teen for any music they listens to, any outfit they wear, any hairstyle they try or how many piercings they have. Thou shalt do thy best to accept thy teen and give them a sense of uniqueness for thou remember thy teenage years when thou did some things that seemed strange to thy parents. This shall affect thy teen’s sense of significance and teach them acceptance, a handy tool for the future.
- Thou shalt not forget the really important things in life and that thy teen is looking up to thee as a role model. Thou shalt not buy fancy cars and accessories that are in fashion and complain that teens are subject to peer pressure. Thou shalt be thy self for this will affect thy teen’s sense of self and their future.
- Thou shalt think positive thoughts about thy teen and express them at every opportunity for they will create love, harmony and a caring environment for thy teen and shall affect thy teen’s attitude towards life and the future.
- Thou shalt always ask seriously, “How was your day?”, “How can I help?” and “Is something bothering you?”, for teens perceive such questions as caring and will do all within their power to attract your attention. Care for thy teen for this shall affect thy teen’s emotional intelligence.
And may the force be with you ;)
Ronit
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