Being single is no fun when people around you nag. Many times, family members believe that all people should get married and that nagging will “encourage” singles to find a partner. In fact, this is the same whatever you nag your kids to do.
8 Worst Ways to Treat Your Teens
Irrational Rules of Living – My Way or the Highway
Irrational Rules of Living – Right and Wrong
If you think about it, from the day you are born, everyone around you tells you what is right and what is wrong. In previous generations, parents used “the carrot and the stick” to teach kids about right and wrong. Anger and punishment were the stick and smiles and rewards were the carrots. Some parents, following the example of their own parents, even used real sticks, belts and denying of physical touch as punishment, while using physical gestures like a hug and a kiss to say, “You’ve made me proud”.
Irrational Rules of Living – Self Worth
Do As I Do
In one of the newsletters I get regularly, I received a link to the article titled “Social media…dirty word or essential skill?” I am sure most parents with Internet access and a teen or two would vote for “dirty word”, considering their kids’ obsessive texting, chatting and emailing.
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Relationship Between Two Onions
Many couples in crisis get to this situation because they do not know each other well. Knowing each other is the first step in overcoming conflicts. In this part of “Save Your Marriage”, I am going to write about the importance of knowing your partner and teach you how to learn all there is to know about your partner. Getting to know your partner’s fears, joys, history and attitude are the first step of any relationship.
Think of marriage as a relationship between two onions. For a couple to get closer, they have to peel the layers of the onion one by one. In the beginning, when you meet a potential partner, you peel the thin external layers. As the relationship deepens, you need to peel more and more layers to discover the beautiful person hiding inside.
To understand, respect and love each other in our marriage, we must truly get to know the person sharing out life. Sometimes, just knowing what their fears are or their joys can change a whole life. I remember the first time Gal gave me his list of “50 things that make me happy” and I was surprised to find out he was happy about very little things. It was surprising, because we had lived together for over 15 years.
Assuming that if you live together you know everything is a bad idea. Even if we knew out partner well at some point, we still need to update ourselves and keep learning about them because, just like us, our partner changes with every event in their life.
If you ever go on a TV show of the “best married couple” type, they will ask how much you know about each other.
Why?
Because everyone assumes that knowing things about each other is essential to your success as a married couple.
The Art of Misery
For many years, I have been writing about the quest for happiness and, as you may now, I believe that focusing on good is the best way to make it expand. However, there are (many) people who find negative examples more effective, so I am going to try some humor (taking a cue from my kids, who flattered me this month when I bought a funny birthday card and said I was developing my sense of humor) and talk a little bit about the dark side of life.
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Just Do It!
We all have more power than we think, but to realize this power, we must often use it first and see the results later. We keep ourselves weak as long as we do not act and only when we take action do we create this power.
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Marriage and Money
Believe it or not, arguing about money is one of three main causes of divorce. Difference in priorities are a main cause of arguments in marriage and when divorce is considered an option, it is more likely that the couple will waste much of their energy on their biggest argument ever about money.
Chances are that partners in marriage have their own ways of spending and saving money. They bring their perception about money from their life before the marriage and many of them find it hard to strike a balance between what he wants and what she want, between what she thinks it is best and what he thinks it is best for the family’s future.
Here are some of the common conflicts around money:
1. What is necessary (food, clothes, jewelry, big screen TV…)?
2. Who needs to contribute more money (many high expectation from men and sometimes too high expectation by men themselves)?
3. Should homemaking be considered equal to financial contribution (try hiring a nanny, a chef, a cleaner, etc)?
4. Should we save for the future or enjoy life today?
When getting married, it is hard for a couple to estimate what their financial requirements will be. Every time they face a financial challenge, it hits them straight in the face and many couples, having poor money management skills, feel that there is just never enough money for what they want in life. Financially, the difference between single life and married life are huge.
Yes, if both husband and wife earned similar salaries, agreed on every cent they spent and the ways to save, many of them would not consider divorce so easily. There is a slim chance for you both to agree on every financial decision. Therefore, in marriage, it is wise to choose your financial battles.
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