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Posts tagged 'choice'

Things I Want My Kids to Know: Listen!

Many times, when we face difficulties, we look for ways to ease our load. The first thing that comes to mind is “Change your place, change your luck”. Although this is a Jewish proverb, I think most people want to believe in it, regardless of their faith. This is why people change jobs, move to another place and (unfortunately) switch to a new relationship so easily.

People want to believe that changing their address will change their life, when in fact it is their attitude that needs to change.

This post is part 6 of 7 in the series Things I Want My Kids to Know

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Everyone Knows the Truth

Ronit and I love movies about relationships. We prefer movies showing “real” people (as opposed to flashy, overly unique characters) going through “real” challenges and hopefully completing a positive personal journey by the end of the film. This way, we can take something home with us, discuss it, learn from it and share the growth.

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Awareness is Half the Solution

Getting to know ourselves is the first step of any personal development process. If we want to grow and evolve, we must developer our self awareness. We should get to know the people we are, what we think, what we love, what we are afraid of, what we believe in, what we would do if…, what motivates us, what will take us forward and what we want out of life.

As part of the process, we might find that we are not happy with the answers, but they are necessary to start a change. First, we must know where we are if we want to start going in a different direction, because if we keep doing what we have always done, we will keep getting what we have always gotten.

This post is part 18 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

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Cooking, Eating and Success

My mom always says, “You will eat tomorrow what you cook today” (my mom was a chef, so many of her proverbs come from the cooking world). I think she heard it from her mother, who heard it from her mother, but I am sure that if I trace it long enough back, I will discover this proverb is very ancient, but I doubt most people understand it.

You see, many people cannot find the correlation between their actions and the outcomes they get. When such people are still young, we say it will take them time to learn. When they get older, we call them “stupid”.

I guess this means we are all stupid, because none of us have the ultimate formula for cause and effect. After all, life is a big guessing game based on trial and error and our level of success depends on which attempt we are at.

Nevertheless, there is one thing I know that definitely works and that is doing things in the right order: First we have to cook, then we can eat!

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Marriage of Singles

The current vibe around marriage and likely divorce has caused many people to stay single for a lot longer than they ever would have in the past. The upside of this is more personal development, more independence and an improved financial situation. The downside is getting used to making decisions alone, looking for potential partners and keeping a clear personal space.

Is this a problem? It can be.

You see, having kids is something that cannot wait and should not wait. The quality and quantity of eggs in women goes down over time, which makes having a baby more and more complicated. Women’s physical fitness and flexibility also goes down with age, making matters worse.

From a family planning point of view, having kids over 5 years provides fewer options than having them over 10 years. The age difference between kids is a very important factor in healthy emotional development, but if there is not time, you can only have them close together, which can be challenging.

Being single for a long time causes many people to continue living as two singles sharing a home, instead of a married couple. This gets messy very quickly. In extreme circumstances, the two singles keep things ready for separation, which only makes separation more likely.

After “hunting” for a partner for a long time, the habit of collecting and evaluating potential mates is harder to shake and having affairs does not seem like such a big deal. Why invest in making your marriage interesting if you can just “refresh” your life with someone else from time to time? Alas, the way back is hard and most couples cannot make it.

And there are other economical and social reasons, which is why marriage was invented in the first place.

This post is part 17 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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Dumb Parents?

If you have ever wondered how dumb parents can be, wonder no more. I believe the parents in the story “Parents Fight over Which Gang Toddler Should Join” take the lead for more than one reason. If there is ever a parenting qualification exam, they would fail miserably. This may be how it seems, but is it the whole story?

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Healthy Eating by Shock Treatment

Unless there is something wrong with them, all parents want their kids to be healthy and eat well. With so many supermarkets and so many items on the shelves that are mostly processed, full of food colors, additives and lots of sugar, keeping your kids healthy is not easy. Not easy, but more important than ever!

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How do You Wash the Dishes?

Only when you see someone else washing the dishes in a strange way do you notice that there is more than one way of doing things. When my mom came over to our place and watched a friend of mine washing the dishes, she almost fainted.

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Happiness is in Your Hands

From the first year of my Special Education studies, I had this debate with Gal. Gal, who has a degree in Biology and Computer Science, thought that people’s behavior was all genetic and I, as an educator, believed it was all taught and could be changed. For years, we had those discussions. Over time, I learned there are many things that are mostly hereditary and Gal learned that even they can be changed with education.

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The "Other" Parent

In many marriages, one partner is the main “bread winner”, spending his time (or her time, but mostly his) outside the home, being busy with work-related stuff some of the time at home and needing support from the “other” partner (typically the woman). This creates an imbalance in the family.

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