The Story of Mike

Bearded man looking sadly out the window

I met Mike at a café. He was very tall and good looking. He had just left home after 11 years of marriage and said “I hate her” 30 times in one meeting. He wanted to know if I could help him. “I’ve been to counselling, but that didn’t work”, he said to me.

He wanted to divorce and did not know how to go about it. He talked about making this a smooth separation and about finding a new partner. “I’m a one woman man”, he said. I liked it. Working with so many couples seconds before they divorce, at least infidelity was not the reason in this case.

Mike had already arranged the paperwork with his lawyer. “I’m going to divorce her”, he said at the end of the first session.

In many cases, coaching is like being an investigator. At the end of the first session, I sat in the café, writing all the pieces of the puzzle I had gathered from Mike.

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Things I want my kids to know: I will come!

I was sitting in the most wonderful place in the world – on the beach of Koh Samui in Thailand. My daughter was almost seven years old and my was just one yea old and was running on the beach naked. As the two of them were building sand castles, I learned the first thing I want my kids to know.

A 60 year-old man approached us and told us this story.

This post is part 1 of 7 in the series Things I Want My Kids to Know

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Why Do People Say “I Love You” And Not Mean It?

Question My husband recently said he did not love me at all. He said he had not loved me for a long time. It hurts so much. Why would he do that? Answer I am sure he loved you when he said he did. When he said he did not love you he must have […]

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Mother of Three Flirting with Her High School Sweetheart

I have had this discussion many times and I think it is about time I write about it. I would like to be honest and say that I am a mother of three, I still flirt with my high school sweetheart and I am proud of it! In fact, I recommend this to all of you!

You are probably saying to yourself, “Of course you would recommend this to everyone. You are just trying to encourage herself.”

Is it OK or not? I will let you be the judge.

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What Is The Right Age Gap For Siblings To Have Good Relationship?

Parents and 2 little kids on a part bench

I do not think there is such a thing as the “right age gap”. I believe that each family has its own “right gap”. There are two theories on this matter:

1. Have kids close together so they can grow together and be as close as possible socially. There is also a bit of “and let’s get the kids thing over with as quickly as we can and get on with our life” in this approach.

2. Have your children spaced out to allow them to be individuals and give yourself enough time to dedicate to each one of them.

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Crazy Relationships

Question: My partner and I have been together for a very long time (5 yrs) but are now separated. We love each other very much, but we don’t get along all the time. It is a crazy relationship. I think we can work things out, but we have to start over with a new relationship. Do you think we can work things out now that we know things that we were doing wrong before in the relationship. And do you think that just loving someone is enough to make it work?

My answer…

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How Do You Fall in Love?

What are the steps to falling in love with someone?

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It Won’t Happen to Me

My response to David Bogner’s post “Monsters or Victims”, following the rape of a 12 year-old girl by 13 year-old boys.

… what you can do to be your teen’s friend and you may find they want you to set the boundaries and “save them from themselves” when they make mistakes. Being afraid of parenting your teens only sends a message of insecurity. If responsibility needs to be taken, between parents and teens, who do you think should take it?

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Do We Have Enemies?

What is an enemy? Is it a person who wants to hurt you? Most people would agree to this description. In fact, here is what the dictionary says: Enemy: One who feels hatred toward, intends injury to, or opposes the interests of another; a foe But I think there is no such a thing, because […]

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“The Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen” – Revised Edition

If you are a parent of a teenager, every bit of advice is welcomed. This is what I thought before I read what Busy Mom wrote in The Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen. And I ask you, “With parents thinking like that, who needs enemies?”

Do you really, really believe that the day her kid reached his thirteenth birthday, something in his head started going wrong and turned on the “reputation” light? Or maybe her kid really gave her a crash course in parenting teens.

I think that our kids are like little mirrors of us, reflecting back everything we do and say. Parenting teens is no different than parenting younger kids. The only difference is that teens are much larger mirrors.

So I have revised the Ten Commandments of Being the Parent of a Teen.

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