Question from a reader:
I am invited to my ex-boyfriend’s wedding and I have to go. Do you have good tips to handle the situation?
My answer
If you no longer have feelings for him – cool! Go have fun at his wedding. But I guess since you have asked the question, you do have feelings for him…
There is a beautiful song by Nat King Cole with the words “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return”.
Loving is a great feeling and we have control over that feeling, but being loved is out of our control. This feeling depends on others and when you love and think someone does not return your love, it hurts.
The best thing you can do now, when he is marrying someone else, is to move on, move forward and take care of yourself.
Push the NEXT! button and get on to the next thing.
Life is like driving – if you drive looking forward you get safely to your destination because you are more aware to signs on the road, other vehicles and obstacles. If you drive forward but look backward, the ride is going to be dangerous, real dangerous.
It is the same with any other thing in life. If we run away from something and constantly look back it will limit our progress. Instead of thinking of the relationship you’re missing with this guy, think of what you’ve gained from your relationship with him.
I’m sure you have some good memories from your relationship with him, otherwise you wouldn’t feel so unhappy to go to his wedding. Always think of the good things and more of them will come.
In the past, you made a choice that led you not to be that person’s partner. Accept it! Even not choosing what to do is a choice! You have made that choice in the past, so move on and go forward. “No point crying over spilled milk”. It is gone, it is not there anymore.
Finding the peace within is the best tip I can give you. Keep looking forward and find someone new that will bring the spark into your life and make it easy to go to any wedding you are invited to. Be positive, maybe you can find that one in your ex’s wedding.
Remember, the love of your life is out there. You just haven’t met him yet.
Be happy,
Ronit
