How to Avoid Abusive Relationships

Young man with tattoos and skill rings (may or may not be abusive)

As your daughter grows older and develops a relationship with a steady partner, the feeling of losing control grows too. Being the mother of a young woman (OMG, she is 20!), I see a lot of value in teaching teenage girls the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

I am sometimes surprised to meet new clients who cannot understand how they got themselves into an abusive relationship. As you can imagine, getting a women out of an abusive relationship is much harder than not getting into such relationship in the first place.

If you are the parent of a young daughter, you are probably asking yourself, “How can I make sure my daughter never gets herself into an abusive relationship?” The good news is you can! And if you do it before the relationship starts, you have a better chance of succeeding.

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Motivating Kids (3)

Every person has different motivation tools. Some people are motivated by “carrots” (encouragement and rewards) and others by “sticks” (threats and punishments). Some want to get something for their efforts and others do things to avoid being hurt or feeling bad. I will describe all the motivation tools, but I would like to encourage you to shift away from sticks and towards carrots. In my opinion, sticks are short term motivators, but they are draining and stressing both for parents and for kids. Success on a test to avoid negative parental reaction has an expensive emotional price attached to it – fear, stress and loss of trust.

This post is part 3 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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When Kids Worry

My mom used to say that kids have an easy life, but I wonder about this. Every time my kids (my own kids or kids I teach or coach) react to difficulties and challenges, I wonder about it again. I know my mom meant that not knowing too much and having no heavy responsibility is a bliss, but I say that not having enough life experiences, not having enough skills and not being able to express yourself properly can be the opposite of bliss sometimes.

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Motivating Kids (2)

The questions in Motivating Kids (1) provide a way to give your kids’ “wanting” muscle some good practice and to allow you as a parent to help your kids get what they want in life and be happy. The next step is to chunk each dream down to realistic, day to day pieces that do not involve genies, kings, fairies or lottery tickets.

This post is part 2 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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Things I Want My Parents to Know

When I started writing the “Things I want my kids to know” series of posts, I immediately thought about all the things that my kids would like me to know in return. Being a parent yourself, I am sure that you, just like me, have many things you would like to tell your parents.

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Things Kids Never Argue With

I once said (OK, I have said it hundreds of time) that kids believe everything you tell them. The younger they are, the truer this statement is. Parents do not know they are lucky that their young kids do not question them as much as they should. In fact, because kids do not doubt what their parents say, I would like to encourage all the parents reading this post to take advantage of this phenomenon and plant good thoughts and beliefs in your kids’ little minds. So if you are a parent and you want to learn how to plant good thoughts in your children’s mind, buckle up and enjoy the ride.

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Motivating Kids (1)

Many times, I hear the question “How do you motivate kids to do things?” Most parents in the world would like to know the “magic tricks” of motivating their kids to succeed, to be friendly, to be healthy and happy. I guess it is part of having kids, that desire for them to be “in the zone”, where everything is easy and gives a good feeling. In this sense, kids and their parents are exactly the same. Motivation has no age.

In my parenting classes, 100% of the participants want their kids to have love, success, friendships, confidence and happiness. All of the parents look for the formula they can use to help their kids get these things.

In the coming weeks, I will be posting about motivating kids, covering all aspects of motivations and how you, as a parent, can use each and every one of them to give your kids what you have always wanted to. With each post, I will also include tips, exercises and/or printable resources to help you on this exciting mission.

This post is part 1 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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Causes of ADHD

Many parents around the world are having to deal with something they call “ADHD”. This behavioral disorder is socially unacceptable, thus creating embarrassment to the family on top of the challenges of handling a hyperactive child. From my experience, many ADHD parents believe this problem is genetic or otherwise unchangeable. Well, I am here to tell you there are many causes for ADHD and they are all things parents can control.

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More ADHD and Food

Last week, I wrote about the natural treatment of ADHD through diet. Today, I would like to talk (well, actually write) about a research done by Dr Feingold, an allergy specialist who found in the mid 70’s that 30-50% of hyperactive kids improved when they switched to a diet free of artificial colors, artificial flavors and a group of substances called “Salicylates”, which occur naturally in many fruits.

Colorful Kids

Every time I see a blind man, I am thankful for my ability to see the richness around me and remind myself that I do not need something to be taken away from me in order to appreciate it. Many people have good vision, but cannot see that the world is actually colorful, with many shades, with great landscapes and beauty all around. You see, it is not enough for beauty to be there. We must also learn to appreciate it.

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