A Lesson in Proportion

Sometimes, the things we expect the least – both good and bad – can teach us the best lessons in life. Last month, I said to a group of 26 child leaders that in many things of our life, the important thing is not what others give us, but what we choose to take. When I said that, I did not consider the possibility of taking a lesson from others without any intention on their part.

Two weeks ago, we learned a very valuable lesson from a good friend of ours. Tom, our friend, had never planned on giving us this lesson. In fact, if it was up to him, I think he would gladly not teach us this lesson at all because of the heavy price he had to pay for it.

I hope that when you read this story, you will choose to take as much as possible from it. Remember, it is not about what I write, but what you choose to receive.

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Starve Your Anger

On my life coaching journey, I meet many angry people. Angry, disappointed and frustrated that most of the time, those feeling are reflect by their relationships, their health and their level of success in life. One major rule in teaching happiness is that the space inside is limited to one of them only and you have the power to choose.

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Change for Happiness

You may have noticed this about yourself or the people around you, but being happy can be a bit of a challenge. Sure, there are moments of joy and elation, but they do not seem to last very long and then we go back into, well, “normal” life.

Why is this? Better yet, once we know why this is, how can we benefit from this knowledge to become happier?

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Criticism No More

Absolutely everybody receives some criticism in life. Some of us have the misfortune of growing up with critical parents, while others bump into their first critic at school, but we all have to face criticism at some point, right?

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Kiss Buggy

About 3 month ago, the kids, our 7-year-old daughter Noff and our 13-year-old son Tsoof started playing the “Punch Buggy” game. If you do not know this game, it involves looking out for a buggy (a Volkswagen “bug”), and the first person to spot one punches the other and says “Punch Buggy”.

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Motivating Kids (4)

Just like praise and appreciation, rewards are a wonderful way to motivate kids. I think it is very important to understand that rewards are second-level “carrots”. Usually, rewards are required when you have exhausted all your praises and they do not seem to work. Sadly, this usually happens when your kids do not trust that you mean what you say.

This post is part 4 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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Motivating Kids (3)

Every person has different motivation tools. Some people are motivated by “carrots” (encouragement and rewards) and others by “sticks” (threats and punishments). Some want to get something for their efforts and others do things to avoid being hurt or feeling bad. I will describe all the motivation tools, but I would like to encourage you to shift away from sticks and towards carrots. In my opinion, sticks are short term motivators, but they are draining and stressing both for parents and for kids. Success on a test to avoid negative parental reaction has an expensive emotional price attached to it – fear, stress and loss of trust.

This post is part 3 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

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Switch

If you are like me, you often find yourself in an undesirable mental state, like panic, rage or regret. Having this strong emotion for a long time can create the wrong outcome for you, so you want to stop it, to break out of it, but how?

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Stress is Like Living in an Ambulance

Living in stress is like living in an ambulance all your life. You are on the road most of the day, you live in a small space, not many people around, everything is difficult, your decisions are all about life and death, mistakes are critical, there is no time to waste, not time for fun, not enough time and space to make your own meals, you see (too) many doctors, you develop a dark view of the world from frequent exposure to accidents, drink driving, violence and self neglect. Through the eyes of the stressed person life sucks!

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My Psychic Mom (6)

This happened to me at a huge cultural festival. We had had a hectic week preparing for the festival, with many last-minute notices and a low budget. The weather seemed very threatening – the rain in the previous week had destroyed the entire weekend for an environmental festival, washing away a whole year of hard work. It was still raining heavily and the thought of our work going down the drain was unbearable.

This post is part 6 of 6 in the series My Psychic Mom

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