Teen Birthday Parties: Who Needs Them Anyway?

Teen girl blowing out candles on a cake at a birthday party

It was the third birthday our daughter had refused to celebrate with friends. For her 17th birthday, she invited a couple of girls to go out for a movie. For her 18th birthday, she spent the day crying because it was her grandmother’s funeral (and her dad was away to attend).

When she approached her 19th birthday, we had the same discussions about a party all over again.

When I was kid, most of the kids wanted to have a party, at least on their birthdays. Only the “rich” kids could have parties every year. Some rare kids had parties more than once a year and those were obviously the most popular.

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What Are You Saying to Your Teens?

A couple of clients came to me for parent coaching because of a problem they had with their teen boy, and were very surprised when we went through Pink Elephants. They said, “We tell him every day NOT to hang around bad kids, but saying it only puts the focus on those kids we want him to stay away from”.

The day after our session, the mother sent me this email:

“Dear Ronit, You won’t believe what happened after we left our session last night. I was home for 3 minutes and so many Pink Elephants came out of my mouth… It’s so hard!”

It is hard. I agree.

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Social Identity

This entry is part 4 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

Today, let’s explore how we form our social identity and how it can contribute to our self-esteem.

Psychologists claim that we have a social identity. From the moment kids see themselves as part of a family, they start forming their social identity. Our self-esteem, which is what we think about ourselves, is greatly influenced by the groups we associate ourselves with and by what they think and do. For that matter, our family is our first social group.

If you want to understand the influence of the groups on our life, put yourself at the center of a circle and draw bigger and bigger circles around you for your family, friend, work colleagues, acquaintances and so on. The closest the circle to you, the more influence you allow this group to have on your life.

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Should my child repeat a year at school or not?

This question usually comes up after a teacher tells a child’s parents that the child is not keeping up with their schoolwork. Often, the teacher actually suggests that the child repeat a year.

However, although the indication given is academic, the problem is most often emotional.

If the reason for the child’s poor performance is academic, I believe there is no point repeating a year. If there is a real difficulty, time is not the cure!

It is better to offer special support to the child during and after school, or in extreme cases, in a special school.

However…

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My kids don’t eat the food I make. What should I do?

Kids’ eating habits are very important for parents and it is very frustrating to prepare food and find out your kids do not like it.

If you look at this issue from an emotional point of view, it has to do with control. Your kids are exercising control over what and when they eat, while you try to keep that control. Once you look at it this way, though, the solution is simple.

Here are some great things that will get your kids to eat well.

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How School Promotes Low Self Esteem

This entry is part 2 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

Last week, in Self Esteem Mini-Course (part 1), I wrote about the definition of self-esteem. This week, let us explore how school promotes low self-esteem in children and shapes our society in the opposite way.

Since our self-esteem is based on our perception of ourselves and school is the place we spend most of our time between the ages of 6 and 12, every school experience either increases or decreases our self-esteem.

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11 Tips for Developing Healthy Eating Habits

Most of the parents in the world want their kids to have healthy eating habits. Nowadays, when there are so many temptations around, it makes it harder to eat only healthy food. Fortunately, the younger your kids are, the easier it is to help them establish healthy eating habits.

For years, and especially in the early years, kids are certain that the way they eat at home is THE way everyone eats. Take advantage of this and start with healthy eating early. Flexibility with food is very important for kids. Kids who are flexible with food are less likely to have eating disorders in later years.

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Four Blessings from the Fairies

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, the king and the queen had a welcoming party for their newborn daughter. All the fairies were invited to the party to bless the baby with all the goodness in life.

In a glorious ceremony, each fairy approached the beautiful, gorgeous baby and blessed her. The Blue Fairy gave her happiness, the Green Fairy gave her health, the Red Fairy gave her love, the Pink Fairy gave her friendship, the White Fairy gave her confidence and the Yellow Fairy gave her…

This is a fairy tale, right? Well, no, not really.

When our kids are born, we are just like fairies standing beside their beds every night and blessing them with all the goodness of life. As parents, we all want our kids to be happy and successful. Though many of us dedicate too much energy to the less important things in life, we do, inside of us, deep inside, want the best of our kids.

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Networking for Kids

These days, networking is synonymous with success. Networking is also the key to a good social life.

No matter how big our house is, how colourful our car is, how powerful our computers are or how many academic degrees we have, it is the ability to establish good relationships with our family, our friends, our customers, our colleagues and, perhaps more than anything else, with people we do not know, that determines our success in life.

At school, we get the idea that the more knowledge we gain, the more successful we will be in life. This intellectual focus on life is still practiced in many places around the world.

In fact, “It’s not WHAT you know, it’s WHO you know”.

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Your Kids Are as Smart as You Believe Them to Be

Our friends came for the weekend to our house to celebrate their daughter Tammy’s first birthday. We had finished a great breakfast and were cleaning the balcony, while my friend was preparing little Tammy a bottle of baby formula.

“I finished the formula box. Where is your recycling bin?”, she asked.

I looked at the big formula box she wanted to throw in the bin. “Are you sure you want to throw it away?”, I asked her.

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Teen Birthday Parties: Who Needs Them Anyway?

What Are You Saying to Your Teens?

My kids don’t eat the food I make. What should I do?

How School Promotes Low Self Esteem

11 Tips for Developing Healthy Eating Habits

Four Blessings from the Fairies

Your Kids Are as Smart as You Believe Them to Be

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