acceptance / judgment / tolerance Tag | Family Matters

When the Children Cry

I met Amir this year when we both worked for the “together for humanity” organization in Australia. He had black skin and spoke broken English. In the presentation we did together, he told the kids he was from Africa. It is amazing, but most of us in the organization are either educators or social workers. Amir was only in his first year of study for his Social Work degree. As part of the program, he talked to the kids about being “black” and suffering for it. I did not know quite what he meant when he said “suffering”.

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Wonderful Things to Say to My Daughters

Amanda and I sat together and wrote 100 things she could say to her daughters in a positive way. The first step to saying good things to your kids is to start with yourself. Take a sheet of paper and write 100 good things about yourself. Yes, I know it is not easy, especially if you have not heard it from your parents, but remember, you need these thoughts in your tank if you want to easily say them to your kids.

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Do Unto Others What Works

The quote “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” is widely used by people as a “rule of thumb” for treating others. I must have heard it spoken to kids by their parents hundreds of times in different settings. But I am here to tell you that this way of thinking can get you into all kinds of strife and that if you review your relationships, you will find out how.

Just think for a moment about the many ways in which people vary: age, gender, job title, occupation…

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Parents of Teenagers: This is How to Destroy Your Relationship

As you know, teenagers are very close to my heart. At the age of 16, I decided it was time for people to change their attitude towards teens if they want them to change their attitude towards their life and the adults in their life. Especially parents of teenagers.

I was a bit shocked to realize that the relationship I had with my parents from an early age had led us into constant conflict during my teen years.

Until that point, I thought all teens hated their parents. I thought all parents of teenagers lost their kids’ respect and trust during adolescence. I knew that having these thoughts did not help teenagers or their parents.

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Things I Want My Kids to Know: The Door is Always Open

This week, I had a talk with my 19-year-old daughter about leaving home. Because some of her friends had left home and then had to come back due to financial difficulties, we talked about the emotional aspect of “going back home”.

When we talked, she told me about the feelings of shame, failure, disappointment and many other negative feelings that would be associated with having to go back home. It was after this talk that I realized there is one more thing I want my kids to know.

The following is a very true story.

This post is part 3 of 7 in the series Things I Want My Kids to Know

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The Marriage Institution

Happily married couples say that marriage has taught them to accept each other’s strengths and possibilities. They argue that by doing that, they transform themselves from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

Therefore, marriage is an “enabling” situation, providing the freedom for each person to be who they really are, to reach for the stars and discover what they are meant to be without ridicule or rejection.

After all, it is a question of attitude. When you are happy, you are able to grow and evolve. With the right attitude, every honeymoon excitement can last longer.

Many of us have read reports, which drive home the message that married people are healthier and happier, and therefore live longer than single or celibate individuals do.

This post is part 4 of 33 in the series Save Your Marriage

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5 Common Parenting Mistakes

When I decided to write the post, after many requests, I was not sure if I should call it “5 Common Parenting Mistakes”. You see, calling something a mistake is a form of judgment, like saying there is a right way to do something.

But I do not believe there is a right way. I think there are many ways and they need to suit the person who implements them.

When I studied my Special Education degree, I learned hundreds, if not thousands, of education and psychology theories. It may sound surprising to you, but some of them were in contradiction with others.

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Little MacGyvers: Kids Who Talk to Themselves

When I sit in my car, driving the kids to school or just on my way to the supermarket, I like watching people in their cars. Some funny people talk to themselves. Yes, I know. It may look like they are on the phone, but I am talking about the crazy people that actually talk to themselves.

I call these people “MacGyvers”. Do you remember the TV series with this guy who was narrating the whole time? We heard his thoughts all the time wherever he went.

This happens to me a lot. I see people on the street moving their lips while they walk. As funny as it looks, these people have an advantage.

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Your Self-Esteem Checklist

For people to think highly of themselves, they need to be aware of every aspect of the self and identify their own personal scale to measure their performance. Most people are so used to defining themselves based on others around them that I can understand why this is not an easy task. Easy it may not be, but it is possible and, I believe, essential.

Last week, in Service Your Self-Esteem, we talked about essential rules to increase self-esteem. To increase our self-esteem, we need to look at ourselves carefully and examine each part of what creates the self.

Last week, we met Eli, my mechanic, and talked about his checklist for car maintenance, the one he uses before returning each car to its owner. Well, here (at last) is a self-esteem checklist – your very own list of the parts of your self-esteem.

This post is part 6 of 20 in the series Self Esteem Mini-Course

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Are Your Ready?

It all started when our daughter Eden was a year and a half old. She had Pneumonia and high fever and she wheezed all day.

After one dose of Antibiotics (by the way, 18 years ago, it was every 6 hours, even if it meant waking her up at night), we had about a week or two off and the wheezing started again.

First kid, young parents, we went straight to see our baby specialist. He was the head of the Pediatric Ward at our local hospital and we went to his private clinic every time something happened.

About 4 months later, we found ourselves in his private clinic again. It was Pneumonia the fourth time. During that time, Eden had red, dry cheeks, high fever (every time she was not on any medication) and wheezing, wheezing all day.

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