Last week, my son went to a small pool party and one of the kids who were invited did not show up. Somebody said Nick could not come because he was working. Nick, you should know, is a 14-year-old kid and had just started working at a donut shop that had opened next to his house. Obviously, a whole conversation started about working kids and whether or not it is good for kids to go to work.
Are Your Kids Free?
Yesterday, Ronit wrote about her experiences with kids who were mentally stuck in norms and invisible rules at the age of 6. Their creativity was stifled by notions of “right” and “wrong” and external opinions about what is pretty, messy or appropriate. Today, I would like to share with you some more signs of kids being stuck like this, along with a wonderful video clip.
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Colorful Kids
Every time I see a blind man, I am thankful for my ability to see the richness around me and remind myself that I do not need something to be taken away from me in order to appreciate it. Many people have good vision, but cannot see that the world is actually colorful, with many shades, with great landscapes and beauty all around. You see, it is not enough for beauty to be there. We must also learn to appreciate it.
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Affirmations for a Happy Mind
Whether we speak out loud or we are in silence, our brain is in continuous chatter. We have thoughts about things to do, feelings, expectations, ideas, reminders, theories and conversations. Here is an example of my mind chatter in the first 30 seconds in the morning. I still had my eyes closed and said nothing at all:
“What’s that noise? … What’s the time? … 6:30 … Oh, no, Noff has swimming today … I wanted to put a bottle in the freezer for her … I forgot … It’s going to be hot today … I should have gone to bed early last night … I talked to my sister … I miss her … Two more seconds … I have to get up now … I’ll go to sleep early tonight … Yes, I said that yesterday too … I’ll meditate … “
Everyone Knows the Truth
Ronit and I love movies about relationships. We prefer movies showing “real” people (as opposed to flashy, overly unique characters) going through “real” challenges and hopefully completing a positive personal journey by the end of the film. This way, we can take something home with us, discuss it, learn from it and share the growth.
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Ask and You Shall Receive
Carolyn came to coaching with the big desire to understand herself. She was talented and efficient, yet life was not going in the direction she wanted. Job after job, although she had been very able to “deliver the goods”, she had missed out on promotions when the time had come. Her renovated house was a mess and, although she knew all she needed to know about budgeting, all of her money had vanished towards unexpected renovation expenses, unexpected events (death in the family) and a very long court case against her husband.
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Cooking, Eating and Success
My mom always says, “You will eat tomorrow what you cook today” (my mom was a chef, so many of her proverbs come from the cooking world). I think she heard it from her mother, who heard it from her mother, but I am sure that if I trace it long enough back, I will discover this proverb is very ancient, but I doubt most people understand it.
You see, many people cannot find the correlation between their actions and the outcomes they get. When such people are still young, we say it will take them time to learn. When they get older, we call them “stupid”.
I guess this means we are all stupid, because none of us have the ultimate formula for cause and effect. After all, life is a big guessing game based on trial and error and our level of success depends on which attempt we are at.
Nevertheless, there is one thing I know that definitely works and that is doing things in the right order: First we have to cook, then we can eat!
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Things I Want My Kids to Know: Rise Up!
Some time ago, my teen daughter went to a teen motivation seminar (that shall remain anonymous at this stage). Gal and I were very happy she was going to participate. As you can imagine, us two life coaching parents are happy with every opportunity for our kids to hear some of our “preaching” from someone else. However, she came back so disappointed, our heart dropped.
Fearless Living
Every human being is delivered from a warm, dark, quiet and completely safe environment into the ever changing, sometimes rough world. Most modern babies’ first experience outside their mother is a bright light in a cold room, being shaken (although not stirred) and handled by many hands. Imagine the fear in the little creature! Some people think this is so traumatic it must be cleared from the psyche to ensure emotional health.
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Choices and Illusions
Since I was 16, I was fascinated with the human mind. When I discovered my ability to choose my life, I said to myself I needed to remember that moment in my life, the time when I passed from being part of the herd to being a leader. From a confused state of mind, I changed to being clear, successful and happy. Straight afterwards, I also got a boyfriend (guess who) and that made life even more fun.
I remember the library as one of my favorite places. Like James Redfield says in The Celestine Prophecy, I believe the people we meet are not there by chance. Well, I have always thought the books I happen to read are not there by coincidence. Our school librarian was very happy I was there every day, taking a book and actually reading it. She used to welcome me happily every day and say, “Ronit, I have just the right book for you”. She would then hand me a book about behavior, psychology, morals and the human mind. One day, she brought me a mind research book that talked about the brain and philosophy. I think this book started my journey in the research world, learning as much as I could about how the brain works and giving me my greatest advantage in the special education arena. My rule was, is and will be…
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