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Home » sarcasm » Page 2

I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Shame

Big communist hand pointing finger at man with bowed head

It is not easy to parent when our young kids just do not do what we want them to do. It was once popular to physically punish children for not doing what they are told. It was believed that if pain was associated with not doing what you are told, children would immediately obey.

This strategy was only useful for figures in authority (like parents and teachers). Unfortunately, it did not provide the desired outcome. Children simply learned not to get caught. If an authority figure disappeared or lost their power, the subject would revenge, big time.

After parents, there are authority figures like teachers, bosses, and managers who used shame as an alternative to physical punishment. It was a way to punish through emotional pain, without the physical pain. This seemed to work but the side effects can be severe.

This post is part 2 of 7 in the series I'm OK - You're OK Parenting

Read I’m OK, You’re OK Parenting: Shame »

August 13, 2013 by Ronit Baras In: Parenting Tags: abuse, acceptance / judgment / tolerance, addiction, aggressive, anger, anxiety, attitude, behavior / discipline, body image, control, emotional intelligence, fear, kids / children, positive, practical parenting / parents, sarcasm, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, teaching / teachers, trust, violence

Complaint-free Life: How to Stop Complaining

Man looking unhappy and complaining

There are simple rules to know if you complain and could benefit from doing something about it:

1. If you behave aggressively, rudely, sarcastically or critically towards yourself or others, these are forms of complaint

2. If you want someone else to change something and you tell them so, that is a form of complaint

3. If your feedback is focused on what does not work, that is a form of complaint

4. If you stress about things not happening the way you want them to and you say it, that is a form of complaint

5. If you tell others that they need to appreciate you for not complaining about something, that is … a form of complaint

Before and After

The first thing you need to do is measure your starting point. Rate your level of complaining from 1 to 100. If you complain a lot or are frustrated a lot, give yourself a higher number. If you do not complain much, give yourself a lower number.

This post is part 3 of 3 in the series Complaint-free Life

Read Complaint-free Life: How to Stop Complaining »

June 13, 2012 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, behavior / discipline, choice, communication, emotional intelligence, focus, how to, identity, motivation, negative, projection, responsibility, sarcasm, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, self-fulfilling prophecy, success

Complaint-free Life: What are you complaining for?

Complaining for sympathy

Complainers find at a very early stage of their childhood that crying, originally a form of communication, is in fact a wonderful way to get attention. Crying was OK and normal when they were young, but in a way, complainers that use their complaints to get sympathy and attention are like children who have not evolved. They are a lot like 3-year-olds throwing a tantrum because things are not happening the way they wanted them to. Complainers often complain about themselves and draw attention to their bad heath, lack of skills, abilities and looks and include self-pity.

To overcome this tendency, think of good ways to get attention, use Pride Therapy and draw attention to your successes. You will get much more attention that way.

“The usual fortune of complaint is to excite contempt more than pity”
– Samuel Johnson

Complaints as justification

Many complainers use this strategy to avoid changing. When they are in conflict, they complain about others to force them to change and direct the responsibility away from themselves.

Another reason is to justify being rude or aggressive. If they complain, it means the other person must have done something that deserved their rudeness and aggressiveness. This is a very dangerous belief to have and the associated behavior is a form of abuse.

The third reason is to complain to justify avoidance. If I complain, it means I can postpone making decisions or doing something that I am afraid of doing.

This post is part 2 of 3 in the series Complaint-free Life

Read Complaint-free Life: What are you complaining for? »

June 4, 2012 by Ronit Baras In: Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, behavior / discipline, choice, communication, emotional intelligence, focus, how to, identity, motivation, negative, projection, responsibility, sarcasm, self confidence / self esteem / self worth, self-fulfilling prophecy, success

Motivating Kids (11)

When kids pursue their desires, whether they allow you to motivate them or not, they face difficulties and may be discouraged many time along the way. In fact, every unsuccessful event may cause them to give up. Their natural reaction may not be “I should try something else” but “Maybe this is not important enough to me”. After all, they are just kids and this is a natural reaction for most people.

This post is part 11 of 19 in the series Motivating Kids

Read Motivating Kids (11) »

May 14, 2009 by Ronit Baras In: Kids / Children, Parenting, Personal Development Tags: acceptance / judgment / tolerance, communication, emotional intelligence, how to, inspiration, kids / children, motivation, practical parenting / parents, questions, relationships / marriage, role model, sarcasm, success

Sarcasm – The Weapon of Helplessness

Sarcasm in Scrabble blocks

Ronit and I have a very good friend, who has been in a difficult personal situation in the past couple of years. He feels very frustrated by his circumstances and sees himself powerless to break out of them and live a happy life again.

Often, when he talks to other people, he uses sarcasm.

For example, one day he was contacted by a large company, which I was not familiar with. He got excited about it, but wanted to seem like he was keeping his cool, so as not to get disappointed if he did not get an order from them later on. So he said to me, “Gal, I just got off the phone with company XYZ”.

“What is this company?”, I asked.

“Oh, it’s just a small company nobody knows”, he said in a seemingly casual tone.

Read Sarcasm – The Weapon of Helplessness »

May 27, 2008 by Gal Baras In: Kids / Children, Parenting, Relationships / Marriage Tags: communication, control, emotional intelligence, failure, how to, kids / children, personal development / personal growth / personality development / self improvement, relationships / marriage, sarcasm, self confidence / self esteem / self worth

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