Aggressive Kids

Coach forcing aggressive boy down in fight club

Some parents have aggressive kids. Some parents have nice kids, who behave aggressively sometimes.

Teens, for example, because they are in “the argumentative age”, have more conflicts with their parents and this creates an endless cycle of disciplinary action, which creates arguments, which bring more discipline and then more arguments…

Not all kids know they need to be easy to parent. When they are born, no one tells them they need to do everything their parents expect of them. Or what to do when there are conflicts of expectations.

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Magic in Little Hands

It was Monday morning when I brought my green sprouting container to school. A group of 3-year-old kids ran towards me to see my “surprise”. I opened the plastic bag and took it out. The idea had come into my mind after my Reiki course.

Barbara McGregor, my Reiki teacher, had told us that kids, have life energy in their hands naturally and my brain had clicked. Even if they did not, I could always make sure they did…

“What is this?” they asked excitedly.

“We are going to do some magic”, I told them.

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Relax: Let Go of Your Glass

People carry all sorts of “glasses”. Some are heavier than others, but over time, even the lightest ones create stress. If we want to live a happy life, we need to find ways to put them down, even for a short time or better.

To understand the need to let go or at least put down some of your glasses, look at kids. Sometimes, their hands are full and when you hand them something else, they become confused.

Grown ups are just like kids. Their hands are full with so many things to do, think and feel that they are afraid to let go of some of these and to clear their minds for new ones. Remember, you have only two hands.

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20 Things Teens Say to Set Parents Off

Last week, I wrote about the things that parents say that turn off communication between them and their teens. Today, I would like to talk about the buttons teens push to set their parents off and “make” them lose their minds.

From their early years, kids have an inherent sense of their parents’ weaknesses. They learn it by themselves – they do not need to go to school to study what works and what does not work. They are so sophisticated, they can tell you what works on Daddy and what works on Mommy, even if they are very different.

It is amazing sometimes to see a young baby, stepping as much as possible on the toes of his parents and making them behave in funny ways. This thing works both ways. Our children know us so well, they can make us do silly things out of joy or out of anger or guilt.

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Tips for a Stress-Free Lifestyle (6)

This is the 6th and final part of the series “60 Tips for a Stress-Free Lifestyle”, bringing you another set of 10 tips to reduce stress and enjoy life. Keep your eye out for the tips you can use right away and every day for maximum effect, and be a peaceful role model to your kids.

Tip #51: Listen to music you love

Music is made up of different vibrations that relax the brain. People use music for meditation and for therapy. When you listen to music you love, your body calms down. If you want to help your kids relax, find music they love and ask them to listen to it.

Research has found that cows produced more milk when they listened to Mozart. Listening to Bach was found to increase children’s performance.

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4 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 15

In my life, age 15 was the turning point. 4 months before my 16th birthday, I woke up and discovered that the life I lived was an illusion and I opened up to a new life.

For me, 16 was the sweetest thing there was. Life was divided into before and after – before my awakening and after it. Later on in life, there were many times when I wished I could send my 15-year-old self some wisdom to make her life easier.

Here are the things I would send back in time.

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

This week, I have read (again) an alarming statistic about the rate of divorce and the devastating effect of divorce on children. When I think about my parents, I know I need to thank them in every way I can for being able to handle all the conflicts between them and reach their 50th anniversary.

Conflicts between parents are inevitable. After all, Mom and Dad are two separate people, coming from different backgrounds and sharing life together – a house, romance, kids and finances – in hope of making it the best experience ever.

In research done in 1982 (R.E. Emery) and 1990 (E. Mark), it was found that even young kids are strongly hurt by their parents’ conflicts. It is actually possible to measure parents’ anger through their kids’ psychological, behavioral an emotional state. When I worked with groups of 2-4 year-olds, I could tell when there was tension at home or when one of the parents was away from home.

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20 Things You Should Never Say to Your Teens

Somewhere between parents and teens, the messages of love and caring get lost. Bringing fear and anxiety from their own experiences, parents sometimes forget what works and what doesn’t. It is amazing to find that the sentences we say to our teens are the same sentences we hated when our parents said to us.

A long time ago, one of the mothers in my early childhood center brought me a book about expressions mothers use. I laughed really hard and I could swear the author wrote the book about my mom. Is it possible, I wondered, that all moms uses the same phrases?

Well, surprise, surprise, when I talk to teenagers, regardless of their gender or cultural background, they all claim parents of teens use the same expressions. You have heard one, you have heard them all!

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Tips for a Stress-Free Lifestyle (5)

Welcome to the 5th part of the series. I hope you have found the previous tips helpful in bringing control and peace into your daily life.

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Going Out: To Tell or Not to Tell the Kids?

As a parent, I am sure you are familiar with the “Mommy and Daddy are going out” storm. You put the kids to bed, kiss them good night, wait until everything is quiet, you sneak the babysitter in and just as you are about to leave, you hear a tiny, not-at-all-sleepy voice calling out, “Where are you going?”

In the next few minutes, you do you best to reassure your kids that you will be back, that the babysitter is a good and reliable person, who will take good care of them, and besides, you are going to be back in no time.

Alas, the little ones have you all figured out, and they cling to you, wail, throw themselves on the floor, pretend to be sick and put on various other unethical displays of utter desperation.

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