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Posts tagged 'change'

The Empty Nest Identity Crisis: When Parenting Changes

Many parents experience what psychologists call the empty nest identity crisis — a period where their role, routines, and sense of purpose suddenly shift.

Not long ago, we joined that group of parents. Our nest turned empty.

We have three children, and our youngest moved out at the age of 21.

My adjustment to the empty nest identity crisis didn’t start when she moved out. It actually began years ago when my first daughter left home.

And honestly? I’m still adjusting.

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Is Free Choice Real? How Pressure Affects Our Decisions

The concept of free choice has been examined since the dawn of time across all traditions and philosophies. At any moment of life, we are constantly choosing. We are choosing what to say, what to think, what to do, how to do it… It makes me wonder: do we truly have free choice?

The question here is not about choice but about freedom.

We always have a choice, but we don’t always have free choice. Even choosing not to choose is still a choice.

The concept of free choice has fascinated philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual traditions for thousands of years. The debate between free will and determinism has never been fully resolved.

Even in the Bible, after Cain killed his brother Abel, God told him that he had the freedom to choose, but did he?

For centuries, you can see many books and movies focusing on the same dilemma.

Do we really have free choice, or are our decisions determined by forces we cannot see?

As a life coach, I teach people to choose every day. I can tell you that as a mother, I do exactly the same thing. My eldest is now 37 years old, and I have practiced teaching her to choose for many years.

I chose the slogan “Happiness is a Choice” for my Be Happy in Life business many years ago because choosing is a big thing for me. I believe in all my heart that happiness is a choice but maybe it is not a free choice.

Read Is Free Choice Real? How Pressure Affects Our Decisions »

Weak Generation Myth: Why Every Generation Thinks the Next One Is Weaker

Every generation seems convinced that the next one is weaker. Less resilient. Less committed. Less capable.

And every generation is wrong.

Every generation calls the following one the weak generation.

If you look back honestly, you’ll see the pattern repeating itself again and again. Parents complained about their children. Teachers complained about their students. Elders complained about “kids these days.” Not because the next generation was failing or truly a weak generation — but because the world had changed, and the old tools no longer fit the new reality.

Plato complained that young people had bad manners and no respect for authority. Socrates worried that writing would weaken memory. Parents once feared novels, then radio, then television, then video games, and now screens.

The fear is always the same: “They have it too easy. They won’t cope. They are weaker than we were. They are a weak generation.”

I remember my dad saying it about my generation. Every generation says that because things were simpler in their generation and they believe the younger generation are slack, spoiled, and living an easy life.

Read Weak Generation Myth: Why Every Generation Thinks the Next One Is Weaker »

Turn on Your Motivation Switch with the Dopamine Reward System

I have been researching motivation for over 40 years. It started when I studied special education and realized that teaching people things without their ability to absorb it is a waste of energy. It was the first time ever I have learned about the motivation switch.

I was learning teaching techniques which were wonderful, but what made them successful was not my skills only but the person’s ability to receive.

This led me to the greatest philosophy in all my career. “It is not about what I have to give you, but what you are able to take”.

Motivation determines the ability to take what the world outside gives us. Motivation gives us the ability to be able to recognize what the world outside of us offers and only then the process of “taking” becomes active.

In my book “motivating kids” I explained how to turn on the motivation switch for children. In this post, I want to explain the brain function that builds this motivation from the inside and give you tricks and techniques to turn the motivation switch and stimulate motivation internally.

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Home Silence Retreat: A Simple Guide to Restoring Calm and Clarity

Peaceful living room space set up for a home silence retreat

Silence retreats can feel magical, but you don’t need a mountain monastery, a forest lodge, or a meditation center to experience their power. You can create the same transformation right where you live. A home silence retreat works because the real shift isn’t the location, it’s the intention.

When you choose silence on purpose, even the simplest moments become restorative. The kitchen becomes a sanctuary. Your bedroom becomes a quiet nest. Your living room becomes a gentle invitation to slow down.

In 2014, psychologist Dr. Emma Seppälä studied the effects of short, structured silence periods and found that even brief retreats improved emotional regulation and reduced anxiety. Her conclusion was simple: you don’t need a long getaway—what you really need is uninterrupted quiet.

That’s the beauty of a home silence retreat.

It’s flexible, comforting, warm, familiar, and accessible to everyone in the household.

Read Home Silence Retreat: A Simple Guide to Restoring Calm and Clarity »

Emotional Coping Mechanisms: The Hidden Ways We React When We Feel Threatened

Self awareness and choice facing a crossroad as emotional coping mechanism

Most of us like to believe that we are consistent people — that we respond thoughtfully, communicate clearly, and stay connected even under pressure.

And yet, the moment we feel criticized, rejected, overwhelmed, or emotionally unsafe, something shifts.

We raise our voice, we shut down, we please, we joke, we attack.

These reactions are not character flaws. They are emotional coping mechanisms — automatic strategies we learned to survive moments of emotional threat.

Virginia Satir, one of the most influential figures in family therapy, understood this deeply. She observed that when emotional safety disappears, authenticity disappears with it — and coping takes over.

Understanding these emotional coping mechanisms is one of the most powerful steps toward healthier relationships, conscious parenting, and emotional freedom.

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Comfort Zone: How to Overcome the Illusion

Butterfly - it lives because it had the courage to get out of the comfort zone of its cocoon

Life is not easy. From the moment we are born, we cry for every discomfort. As we grow, we keep crying, but we do it in different ways. Complaints, judgment, criticism, expressing frustration, disappointment, or anger are all forms of expressing discomfort.

Because we do it all our life, we think that comfort is the goal in life. We search for easy choices, for comfort, and dedicate all our energy to finding that zone — the comfort zone. However, the comfort zone is an illusion.

Think of the definition of “comfort.” Comfort is a state of physical and emotional ease and freedom from pain or constraint. An ease or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.

In simple words: it is a sense of freedom from emotional or physical pain, but the comfort zone is simply an illusion. We can’t grow, we can’t evolve, we can’t progress without pain.

Read Comfort Zone: How to Overcome the Illusion »

Happy, Healthy, Successful Life Formula: Knowing vs. Doing

Person holding hands up at the top of a mountain

Everyone wants the formula for a happy, healthy, successful life. In fact, most of us spend enormous energy to find that formula, and we do it all our life. Recently, I had talks with many clients and friends and realized that the problem is not finding the formula but implementing it.

Most people say they know what to do but they just can’t do it. When I teach them something and they have an awakening or awareness or realization, most of the time, it is not because they don’t know what to do but because they found a way to implement something they already knew.

Did it happen to you that you read a book, went to a seminar, heard a podcast, and said, “I knew that”, but still you don’t do what you know?

Well, it happens to all of us.

Read Happy, Healthy, Successful Life Formula: Knowing vs. Doing »

It’s Hard to Say “I’m Sorry” When You’re Not

Kids sometimes do things that others don’t like. Sometimes, they break things and even hurt others. It’s important to help them understand what happened, but parents should never force them to say, “I’m sorry”.

I think the idea of saying “sorry” is distorted because of social “expectations” that if someone is hurt, we must have done something to cause it. This makes parents “teach” their kids to say “sorry” even if it comes without actual “sorrow”.

It’s very easy to see it with young children. They take a game away from another kid (sibling), the other kid cries. Immediately, the parents scold them and force them to go to the other kid and say they’re sorry.

This is humiliating. It plants in those kids the idea that saying “sorry” is admitting guilt, even if they don’t think they’re guilty. And it builds up and stays with the kids.

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Domestic Violence is Devastating. We Need to Stop It!

As we all know, the COVID-19 pandemic has affected almost every part of our daily life. Work, school and social engagements were adjusted to follow the restrictions. But the most troubling change is the huge increase in domestic violence all around the world.

Domestic violence has been damaging our society in more ways than COVID-19 ever will. But no one thinks we should shut down schools, states, airlines, restaurants, gyms or businesses until we eradicate it from our society. And we’re going to pay for this long after COVID-19 is gone.

Domestic violence is primarily directed at women and children. Why? Because they are more vulnerable.

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